Fisting

 

Being a gay Leatherman, I am going to discuss fisting as it relates to my play. What is fisting? The short answer to that question is the insertion of a hand or hands into the rectum of another man. Let’s discuss the specifics of this kink.

The first thing to realize about fisting is that it is something that has to be prepared for. Generically, a man’s hole is too tight to allow a hand in. A man and his hole must be slowly trained to accept the hand. This can be done by inserting fingers into the anus until all five fingers are in. This will normally take several different sessions and tries. Another way to train the anus is to use training plugs. You just start at the smallest plug and move up the scale until the submissive is ready to take the hand.
 

 

The picture above shows how the hand should be shaped to enter the anus. This allows the fingers to start in before getting to the knuckles. There are other preparations that must be followed in order for both men to enjoy the experience. The first is to start a liquid diet the day before being fisted. Prior to being fisted, the man should use an enema to clean himself out.

Realistically there are two positions for the submissive to be in to be fisted: doggie style or flat of his back. I prefer to have the submissive kneeling doggie style. This gives me full access to the submissive’s hole. It also gives me outstanding access to the prostate. Once my hand is all the way in the hole, I can massage and rub the prostate to pleasure and torture the submissive.

Some men wear gloves when they fist. I do not. I make sure my nails are trimmed short and my hands are clean. I spread the hole open with my fingers until I get my fist in past my knuckles. I then go deeper and pull back. The reality is that I am fucking him with my hand and arm. As with all kinks, everyone gets something different out of it. What I enjoy is the loss of control by the man being fisted. At a certain depth and point, the man being fisted will lose control of his sphincter muscle and the cheeks of his ass.  His ass will vibrate quickly. His hole will begin to swallow my arm. The deepest I have fisted was up to my elbow.

There are other things that can be done while fisting. A relaxed hole can be punched by both fists. Two hands can be inserted into a man’s anus. The prostate can be handled and stroked. There are many other ways to torture a man when you are acting as a puppeteer.

Surrender



This blog entry was written by my friend Sachiko. Here writings can be found at https://fetlife.com/users/110219.

I am going to use the terms Top and bottom for the sake of this posting, please understand that I mean for all power exchange designations, but I’m using those for simplicity sake.*

Anybody can submit. We do it all the time, Top, bottom, switch, Master, slave, submissive, you name it, occasionally we submit. We submit to society’s laws, to our own culture’s customs, to our boss, our partner, our parents etc…, shrugs, nothing extraordinary about that. I’m just not that impressed by the concept of submitting. It’s lovely but not EXTRAORDINARY, at least not for me.

Surrender is what I want to talk about today.

Surrender, that place that can only be achieved though absolute trust and devotion.

Surrender. Now that is a different thing entirely. The Webster definition most closely linked to the surrender I’m talking about is…to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand. I believe surrender is a beautiful thing, and being a switch I mean that in the sincerest terms possible from both a Top and a bottoms perspective.

I have been in service to a Top before now, in fact, more than once. I have been designated a submissive before as well as a slave. I have also been told I’m not a “submissive”, “slave”, “dominant”, “switch” etc… according to whoever was talking to me at the moment and according to whatever definition they held for those titles or according to how they felt about me at that time. Lucky me, the only definitions that matter to me, are the ones held by myself and those who either are in service to me, or who I am in service to, and hopefully you feel the same way. This post is not to win people over to my point of view, or to change anyone else’s point of view, it’s simply to voice something I’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time, your mileage, can and should vary.

Surrender, that amazing state I entered unintentionally, and was startled to find myself in. That state of being that upon first finding myself there, I didn’t even have a word to differentiate this from any place I had ever been while being in service ever before. One day I realized on my own (this was not a demand from my Sir, nor did it enter into our negotiations) that he would NOT get a “no” from me. I didn’t think about this ahead of time. I wasn’t thinking “if only there was some way I could show him how committed I am to him, how much I value his dominance etc…” Rather, what happened was, he ordered me to do something and I was so sure it was something I could not do successfully, I literally threw up. I will never forget I was in the middle of Wal mart shopping with a friend, got this direction on the phone, and ran to the bathroom and lost my breakfast. I was literally sick because I knew I could NOT do what he asked me to do. Please understand not that I wouldn’t do it, but that I couldn’t succeed at doing it. My answer to his direction was “Yes Sir” as always. He said do it, so I was going to do it, and I was going to fail. I was so surprised that I felt that way. I was shocked that it was so vital to me to obey no matter what. No matter what my personal opinion of the direction was, no matter what I thought my odds of success were, no matter what I thought following that direction was going to cost me personally, the answer was Yes Sir, no matter what. That was profound for me. Profound enough that internally I went… "what the heck was that all about?" Profound enough that we discussed it later and btw… when we discussed it and he heard my feelings about the direction, he did change the direction, my Master is NOT a bastard…lol but the point is, he didn’t have too. The fact that he’s a smart guy and heard some additional information about his decision that had a bearing on it and he modified his direction still didn’t change the fact that he was NOT going to get a no. That is the surrender I’m talking about.

Please understand, I am a Dominant, no question about it. My personality is that of a Dominant. This is true inside or outside the lifestyle. If I never had a power exchange relationship again the rest of my life, If I never darkened the door of a Dungeon, if I never attended another Leather function ever again, I am still a Dominant, forever, because that is how I am wired inside. Yet, I’m a slave, a fully surrendered slave to my Master. Master Z gets this concept, I think he is the first person I ever heard to articulate it, although I’m not sure even I understood it the first time he said,” I have all these slaves and not a submissive in the bunch, every last one of them is a Dominant.” Later, I gotcha Master Z, later I had my aha moment and that statement finally made sense to me. Please understand that it cost me personally to admit to myself that I was a slave. I have never liked that term, I have never felt that it applied to me, and I always thought that it would “cost’ me something precious somehow. I am however a surrendered slave to my Master, my own precious Sir. And I’m glad at last that I can say it… and it doesn’t cost me a thing. I’m still me, I’m still my dear boys Ma’am, I’m still the Dominant person that I am, I’m still the wanton slut, the devoted mom, the faith filled Christian, but I’m also His surrendered, owned property and that dear friends is a lovely, warm, safe, joy filled place to be!

 

My Family

 

When this blog was first started, my family comprised of my Master and myself. That relationship failed. I am currently in a relationship with two men who are my boys. This blog entry will discuss our relationship.

 

Ron is my alpha boy. He was collared in April ’13. Ron is 56 years old. We have been in a Dominant/submissive relationship since December ’11. In the leather community at large, Ron is a switch. He is submissive to me but has relationships where he is dominant to others. Ron is very instrumental in the puppy movement. He is a handler as am I.

 

I have been a friend of Ron since 2001. He has helped me deal with issues in my life and I have helped him. Ron sleeps in the bed beside me and tries to serve me to the best of his ability.

 

David, aka Tigger, is my second boy. David is 37 years old. He has not been collared yet but has signed a relationship contract with me. I plan to collar Tigger in the near future. Tigger sleeps in the second bedroom which is also our dungeon. Tigger, by trade, is a chef. Because he cooks all day, we rarely get to eat his cooking but when we do it is unbelievably good.

I met Tigger at Camp Red Tails (http://www.manshandfilms.com/camp.html).  He contacted me online before he arrived at camp. We chatted about his experiences and what he was hoping to find at camp. He was very busy at his first camp.

I was chatting with Tigger in the summer of ’12 and he told me he was searching for a job and had been unemployed for a year. I searched in Dallas and found several openings. I offered him the second bedroom if he wanted to come and stay. Soon after that, we began discussing a more formalized relationship.

Both of my boys are instrumental in my life. They give me the family that I have searched for. They give me the space to be the Dominant I am and the Dominant I will become. The turn my house into a home.

 

Spanking

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Life, Liberty, and the Search for Family

As a gay man, I can state that I have had a desire for a family of like-minded people that accept me. I obviously did not find this in my family of origin. I have spent my time since leaving home trying to find places that filled this void.

It is the acceptance that I crave. I have searched for the acceptance in the United States Marine Corps, leather clubs, and in Master/slave relationships. I have found that I do not want people that necessarily think like me because that does not allow me to change and grow (USMC). I do not want to be forced to play like other people because that does not allow me learn new things (leather clubs).

I don’t think that I am alone in this need for acceptance and family. Of the men that I play with as a Dominant or submissive, at least 80% allow this drive to enter into their play with other men. In my little family of three, we have a puppy that is striving hard to become a member. It is a conversation with the puppy that has brought about this blog post. He asked me what family means to me.

Family, for me, is a group of men that love you for who you are and not for what you can do for them. These men are intensely loyal. They are focused on the physical and emotional welfare of their brothers.

As in all relationships, our leather families have their issues. This does not mean that the idea is flawed. It just means that we must strive to meet our ideals. There is who we seek to be and who we are. As long as the family realizes that both exist, it can weather any storm.

I Am Back

 

 

I need to apologize. I left this blog and started another blog to speak about my new family. To be honest, I am embarrassed that many of the men I have talked about in this blog are no longer in my life. I take my share of the blame in that. I am going to bring this blog back to what it started as: information about kink and kinky relationships.

Today is a busy day for me so today I am only going to share some pictures that have struck my fancy recently. I hope you enjoy. Tomorrow will be a real blog entry.

Vince

 

 

Rerurning to the old blog

I will this week begin publishing back here at the old blog.

A Submissive's Remembrance of a Play Session.

I was sent this remembrance by a man I spanked in 2009. It is a look into the psyche of a submissive.  

Meeting the Master
by JCBelt

I had met him online, and we had chatted for quite a while. I somehow trusted him completely. He had the ability to get me rock hard by just hearing his voice! After some time chatting, he decided to come visit me. I was both excited and afraid! He was both HOT, controlling, and out of my league, yet I was drawn to him in a way I could not explain.

Once he had decided to meet, he decided training was needed in preparation for his visit. I was not allowed to jack off unless he approved it. If I did it would cost me 20 additional strokes with the heavy strap. I complied, knowing I would not make the 30 days till our meeting without some relief. I made it two days before requesting permission to jack off.  He granted my request, after reminding me what it would cost. After chatting for some time, I felt the need to be completely honest with him. I told him the things about myself I had mislead him about. He was angry and demanded an apology be sent to him via email. I complied, fearing I had blown my chance to meet with him.

Once he received my apology, he told me to print it out. He then told me that I would bend over my desk chair each morning for five minutes naked and think about what I had coming. I did as he requested. He met me online each morning, and I would go on cam for him and I would show him the printed email and then bend over the chair with the email in front of me and think about what I had coming.

One morning, several days later, he offered me a gift. I could jack off for him on cam with no penalty strokes. I jumped at the chance. I laid the email on my desk and began to stroke my hard cock. It took me only a short time to shoot! I quickly signed off, cleaned up, and left for work. I was thinking of nothing but the pleasure I had just had. Later that day I thought, OH SHIT! I had left the email on my desk for everyone to see. I rushed home from work and quickly put it in a safe spot. I messaged the Top to tell him what I had done. He texted me back quickly and said, "CALL NOW!”  I did. He told me I had been careless and my lack of attention to detail would cost me a stiff punishment. He went on, to my horror, to describe what he had in mind. He told me I would be starting something new the next morning. I would get into what he called "punishment position". The “punishment position” consisted of me being on my hands and knees, legs spread wide, my hands together, with my thumb and forefinger forming a diamond shape, placed on the floor and my head down on them. He told me that he would stand straddling me, a foot on either side of my waist, facing my ass, and he would then take his belt and whip my hole, taint (the area between your hole and balls) and my balls for my carelessness! WOW! I was afraid now. What had I gotten myself into? What had I done? I was drawn to him in a way I could not understand or explain. I trusted him completely and would do what he asked. The next morning after I had done my time in punishment position, during which I could think of NOTHING but how vulnerable I would be in such a position, he then gave me my next instruction....to shave my balls! Later that day I found the time to do what he asked, and I was surprised at how sensitive they had became, of course he knew all along that would be the result.

We were now two and a half weeks away from our meeting. He told me to have three rubber bands ready for the next morning. I did what he told me to do although I did not know what he had in mind for them. We talked on the phone often and I felt more and more drawn to him.

The next morning arrived and after my time in punishment position was over, he instructed me to take the first rubber band and place it around the base of my cock and under my balls and then double the band. WOW! I was not prepared for the effect it would have on me. My cock was instantly HARD! I was told to snap the band. OUCH! THAT HURT! He then told me to leave it on until he sent me a text message to remove it. I was both fascinated and afraid of what might happen. Would it cause any damage? Would my hard-on subside? Would anyone know what I had on? In a moment of confusion, I asked if it would cause me harm. He told me to TAKE IT OFF! I was so ashamed that I had let my fear override my trust for him. Had I lost him?

He sent me several messages showing his displeasure. I was now willing to do whatever it would take to make it right. After some conversation and boundaries were set, I made my second attempt at taking the rubber bands as instructed. He knew exactly what he was doing and used them to put me in my place. I would start each day, after being in position; placing the bands on when he instructed. I was told to snap the bands, at ever increasing numbers as time went on. Eventually I had three bands on. One was around the base of my cock and balls. One was at the base of my cock and the last one was just under the head of my cock. As I snapped the bands, it sent me into an excited state and eventually caused me pain. When I was finally instructed to remove them, I would again snap the bands at the base of my balls the same amount of times as the morning, only this time with much GREATER pain!

Finally the night before the meeting was here, he arrived in town. The excitement builds! We had talked and had decided a short meeting would take place tonight. I drove to his hotel and met him in the lobby. As I caught sight of him, my anticipation, fear, and desire went in to overdrive. He was a well-built muscular man with short hair, and very attractive. I was taken by my first sight of him. I was in awe. He spoke and we shook hands and I followed him to the elevator. WOW! I thought his picture didn’t do him justice! He was HOT, and a nice guy! I followed him into the elevator with my heart racing and my cock hard in anticipation of what would happen in his room. We made some small talk while on the elevator and during the short walk to the room, but I cannot honestly remember any of it. I was so taken by him and the Dominant presence he commanded with seemingly no effort. I had been whipped by a number of guys, but none had the effect on me that he had and I had not even taken a lick from him yet.

He opened the door to his room and we walked in. I could feel my cock pulsing through my pants and a large wet spot showed through my uniform pants for all to see. He opened his suitcase and took out his toys as I watched. They were a wide brown belt, a strap, a jokari paddle, frat paddle, and a heavy strap. I thought I am in for it, as he laid them all on the bed. He then ordered me to strip! I did, showing my obvious state of excitement. I was standing there naked with a raging hard-on wondering what would be first, how hard and so on. Over the end of the bed I went as he took the wide brown belt. He removed the buckle, and then doubled it over. Next came the inevitable CRACK as it bit into my naked ass again and again. CRACK! I could feel the red stripes as they must have appeared on my ass. I was thinking WOW what an aim this guy has; what control. I had never experience such precision from someone swinging a belt before. He switched to the strap and then to the next toy, until I had taken them all. He ended with the heavy strap. I now knew how it got its nick name; "ASS BUSTER." My ass was red and sore and my cock was still rock hard. He told me I had been taking it for an hour! How could that be possible? It seemed like I had just walked in the door. I was then instructed on my knees. He opened his jeans and fished out a magnificent looking cock for me to suck on. I sucked on it for only a short time before being instructed to lie on my back with my head hanging off the end of the bed. He then fed me his cock. That is a submissive position to be in. His cock then proceeded to take my throat, hitting until now untouched areas. I could not believe the feeling of being totally controlled by him and my inability to handle his cock down my throat. He pulled out and told me to get dressed. I was sad. I did not want it to end, but I knew I would be back tomorrow. I left his room with a still hard cock, and a red hot ass. I amazed by his control and precision! I could think of little else the rest of the night.

The next morning arrived and I called him as instructed. He told me to put on the rubber bands and to get into position. I was now both ready and afraid, knowing that in a few short hours I would be there, in position to actually take the punishment he had told me about. I would have bet any amount of money that had someone told me I would submit to such a punishment that they were crazy. Yet, here I was only hours away from taking it. I felt a connection I could not explain, yet knew I trusted him completely. I had screwed up and now it was time to pay for my mistakes. I trusted him to give what was deserved; it would HURT, but that I would not be permanently harmed! After getting out of position he told me to snap the band at the base of my balls 17 times. OUCH! THAT HURT! He instructed me to remove the other two bands. I was only wearing one now. I went off to work for a half a day. He gave me one other directive. I was to cut four switches no more than ¼" in diameter and no more than 16" long. I did as requested and brought them with me. He also gave me one other piece of advice, DO NOT BE LATE. I could think of little else at work that day. My mind was focused on having him wearing my ass out! Finally, it was time to leave to meet him. As I left work I called him to tell him I was on my way. I had allowed plenty of time to arrive, as not to be late!

He told me that he had changed rooms, and what his new room number was. I arrived nervous, hard, and excited. I was having so many emotions all at once. I was drawn to him in a way I had never experienced. Finally, I was standing outside of his door. I knocked and waited as my mind was racing and my heart was pounding. The door opened and there he stood, muscular, masculine, dominant, and in control. I walked in with my switches and gave them to him. He looked them over.  He approved of them and told me to strip. I stood there so vulnerable, so exposed. I was then told to put my hands on the wall and my spread my legs with my ass sticking out. He reached down and pulled the rubber band back and let it SNAP! OUUCHH! Damn that hurt, I thought just as it came snapping down a second time. The band snapped again and again until the band broke as he reached fourteen. Whew! I would have relief from the other three snaps, but my relief was short lived. He picked up the frat paddle to give me the remaining three.

I was told to put my hands out in front of me. He produced a pair of handcuffs. He then cuffed my hands in front of me, and removed his belt. He then told me to get into punishment position, which I did. Then he straddled me, and I noticed his shiny black boots! He told me to spread my legs wider. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, and then CRACK! The belt connected with my balls. OOOOUUUCHHH! It felt liked they had been crushed. It was an unforgettable pain. Again his belt bit into my balls, hole, and taint with special attention being paid to my balls. I thought I would die. As he swung, he had such precision. Finally, after what seemed like hours (ten minutes) the punishment was over. Breathing rapidly and still cuffed, I tried to recover from the worst punishment I had ever taken. Strangely enough I would take again if he told me to.

We now had six hours of ass whipping ahead and proceeded to get started. First he was going to use the Heavy Strap to get my punishment licks out of the way, twenty for jacking off, and twenty for not calling him Sir in a previous conversation. I was instructed to lay face down on the bed, and then he picked up the strap. I heard him slap it to his hand a couple of times. CRAAAACKKKKK! I was not prepared for the force of this strap! CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK! He switched sides. CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK! He switched sides after each five licks, setting my ass on fire. It was all over after forty licks had been given. He picked up one of the switches and began to use it on me. It felt like thousands of bees were stinging my ass all at once as he went to work with the switch!  From there on, it was an ever building array of swats as he varied to the toys over a period of time. He instructed me to get into the tub. He pulled his cock out and pissed on me. The stream was hot, and yellow. It was a new experience for me.

After he had finished pissing, he told me to shower and return to him when I was done. As I showered, I could feel the heat from my ass. It was already swollen and yet not a single lick had been misplaced! I was amazed at his precision. How could he be so precise? I washed and scrubbed my hard cock and dried off and returned to him.

After I returned, he proceeded to again set my ass on FIRE! He told me to stop and lie on my back on the bed with my head hanging over the edge. Once I was in place, he proceeded to feed me his cock, forcing more and more of it down my throat until I had taken the entire length. I gagged and squirmed trying to gasp for air as his large cock lay lodged in my throat! I did my best to please him. I wanted to do whatever it took to please him.

He then pulled out of my throat and told me to get on all fours on the bed. He proceeded to put a condom on, then lube, before climbing onto the bed behind me. I felt his huge mushroom head at my hole. I wanted him, wanted him to take me. He was only too happy to comply as he drove his seemingly perfect cock up my tight ass! He took me on a long hard ride which I hoped would never end.

After the fucking, he retrieved his belt and applied a generous helping of leather to my now sore and swollen ass. He then told me to get dressed. We were going to get something to eat. We drove to a local steak house where we entered and ordered our food. He took the lead; even in charge in public. We ate a nice meal and had a nice conversation. It was time to return to the room. We went to the car, and as I drove, we talked. As we talked, I noticed he was unbuckling his belt pulled it through his jean loops. My cock went HARD instantly. My mind RACED. My cock pulsed. What was he going to do? All these things raced through my mind as I drove back to the room. Once we got back to the hotel, he got out of the car with the belt still in his hand. I thought what if someone sees him? Will they know he is about to use it on me? I walked in embarrassment to the room. I was worried who might see us along the way.

Once back inside the room he told me to strip, only this time he instructed me to remove one piece of clothing at a time. He was doing a police strip search of me. It was scary as he asked for each piece of clothing one by one. When I was completely naked, he had me put my hands up on the wall and he patted me down from head to toe. He took one arm and cuffed it behind my back and then the other and led me to the bed where he bent me over the end for some more spanking. The cuffs were removed and I was told to get back in the tub. As I lay there, I watched as he took out his cock and began to piss on me; hosing my body down, hitting my face and mouth. I was amazed at how hot it was and how long he could piss! I took some in my mouth and drank it. I wanted to serve him in every way. Once he had finished he instructed me to take a shower and then to return to the room.

Once I had completed his instructions as I returned to the room where he waited. After bending me over the end of the bed, he began to set my already sore ass on fire with the sting of the switch! As he switched between his toys, he gave me by far the best ass whipping I have ever taken! The cuffs came back out, as I had my hands cuffed behind my back. I was told to get on my knees on the bed, head down as he put on another condom. I felt him climb on to the bed where he placed the head of his cock at my waiting hole. He pushed his way in fucking my in this helpless position. I loved it.

After the fucking, it was more spanking. I was instructed to lie on my back again on the bed with my head over the side. I took his cock in my mouth and throat. He took me roughly, forcing his cock to places no cock had gone before! He seemed to swell in my throat, cutting off my air supply. He caused me to gag. He had total control over me.

After a long time he pulled out. I gasped for air. He put me on my stomach on the bed with a pillow propping up my ass. It was time for another twenty with the heavy strap; I had forgotten to call him Sir earlier and now I would pay the price!

CRACCCKKKKK! OWWWWW!  The first one was particularly hard. The next nineteen were just as bad I would never make that mistake again. Finally, those were over. He gave me more spanking with his toys. He sent me to get another shower. Once I was done he told me to climb up on the bed with him. I laid there by his side to unwind from the whipping he gave. I felt wanted like I had never had after a whipping! We talked a while as I stroked his cock. I felt that I belonged and was wanted.

After a while, he told me to get dressed. Once I was dressed, he picked up his belt and told me to take down my pants and briefs and bend over the chair. WOW I thought, I was not expecting this. But, he was the Master of the unexpected. He gave me twenty good hard, solid licks with the belt. He told me to pull up my pants. He then walked me out to my car. I had never had any spanker walk me out to my car. Most just send you packing, but not this guy. He was FIRST class all the way! I thought to myself, I hope we get to do this again! He hugged me and put me in my car. I was in total awe as I drove away on my RED, SORE, SWOLLEN ass, but fulfilled in a way I had never been. I was his for as long as he would have me.

Tired of Being Marginalized

This is Gay Pride Sunday in the United States. It is the weekend that the gays, and drag queens, and leathermen at the Stonewall in New York City decided to say NO MORE. It was just another police raid to put those fags in their place. It turned out to be the start of the civil rights movement for gay, lesbian, queer, questioning and those who ally with us. It became the Stonewall Riots.

Slowly we are moving toward the possibility of equality. I was having lunch with Hardy Habermann today and he pointed out some very valid information. For the longest time, gays were used as the boogieman to get certain right-wing zealots elected. Before the gays, it was race and interracial marriage. Do you remember how that destroyed the sanctity of marriage? As people have begun to throw off the idiocy of the anti-gay rant, a new boogie-man was put forth; the evil leatherman.

A badly written book has caused uproar in the heartland (yea, right). Those people who would tell us who we can love and how are now going to tell us of the acceptable ways to be sexual. I could accept a difference in opinion if that was what this is. This not a difference of opinion; it is a scare tactic. “Vote for me or these bastards will take over the world.” It is truly propaganda in its evilest form. In war time, you need to strengthen and galvanize the people on the home front.  Unfortunately, this is directed against those who are citizens of the United States. It smells a lot like the internment of Japanese in the Concentration Camps of the 1940s. If you don’t know, there were no camps for German Americans because “they are like us”. In thirty-seven of the upcoming election races, the evil leatherman has appeared.

I will say it proudly: I AM A LEATHERMAN. I do not eat Christian babies for breakfast. I do not seek the end of America as we know it. I am an American. I served my county in its military service. I enjoy sex with men in a very kinky way. You can condemn me because of a different political belief but, YOU CANNOT CHANGE ME.

How Do I Find a Master/Sir/Spanker/Flogger/Whip Master/submissive/boy/slave?

I am asked this question almost every day. It seems that a lot of people are looking for a magic pill or exercise to have the Dominants running to their door. The reality is that it will happen when it happens. In my experience, it happens at the strangest times. There are a few things that you can do to at least get yourself seen and talked about.

No matter where you live, there is always a city within three hours or so away. These almost always have a leather and kink community. They also have a bar that sponsor’s their leather clubs. It may be a leather bar or just a local hangout. Make a point to go at least once a month. Be friendly with the bartenders.  Later on you can ask about people that do what you are looking for. Most bartenders will point you in the right direction.

Some cities have leather clubs or private parties to do the things that we do. If you are sociable and open about your wants, you will probably be invited to one. If it doesn’t fit your schedule be very upfront and tell the person that you cannot make it but would like to come to another one. If a person shows me no interest, I will not ask again. You do not have to play at these parties. These events allow you to see what is happening and ask questions. Never ask questions while a scene is happening, but wait until later in the social area to ask. Be upfront about you inexperience if you are inexperienced. Be honest when asked a question. The leather and kink communities are very close knit and a lie or the truth for that matter will travel.

Think about your limits. These are things that you have no interest in. People that want to play with you are normally very interested in these before they decide to play. Limits can change as you become more experience. This is to be expected.

There are also online communities that you can join for free and chat with and possible meet people through. A few that I am a member of are RECON, SPANKTHISHOOKUPS, and Man’s Hand Films Spank Chat. ( http://www.recon.com/       http://spankthishookups.com/     http://manshandfilms.com/chat/phpMyChat.php3 )  These groups can give you the experience of chatting with like-minded people. You also might have a meeting with them. Be prepared on the first two sites above. There are so people who are never interested in meeting but will setup play with you. They are called flakes. This can be very aggravating. Do not let it get you down. Keep trying.

These are a few of the ways to get noticed. The final one I would like to give is pretty straight forward; play. Even if your play is nothing like other people’s, it will show people that you are more than just talk. In the end, watching five minutes of play of a Dominant or a submissive is worth days of chatting. Taking these ideas and implementing them will assist you in your quest.  Before you know it, that perfect person will present himself.

Happy Memorial Day - US

For all who have served our Nation, I thank you.

For all who have served others, I thank you.

For the Honor of being called a Marine, I thank you.

For all of those who have given the ultimate sacrifice from all nations, I thank you.

It sounds trite, but with tears in my eyes, all I can say is Thank You.

Comics

Here is a little spanking humor for the long weekend. To my brothers and sisters at IML 2012, enjoy.

Sensual Sadism

In my last post, I talked about reconnecting with someone I knew when I was fourteen years old. After some negotiation, I agreed to be obedient to him for a play session. This post is about that play session.

I ran downstairs to be picked up by Him. I stood under an oak tree to keep the sun out of my eyes. A short time later He pulled up beside me and told me to get in. As we drove back to His place, we discussed the fact that we had known each other and stayed in the same cabin when I was a boy scout. We both laughed about the fact that it is such a small world. I followed him up the stairs and into the living room. He told me to strip, which I was happy to do.

I have to admit, I am never scared when I become obedient to another man. If I was scared, the play would not happen. I will say that I was very nervous to meet Him for play. I have never seen Him play. We knew each other and even shared a cabin at one point at Camp but I would not think He would consider me a “friend”. I will say that as I sat in His car, I was very nervous. I was nervous about what might happen.

He came toward me and turned me toward the bedroom. He put His arm around my neck and propelled me toward His bedroom. Once we were both in the bedroom, He closed the bedroom door. “Strip”, He ordered. I quickly stripped and stood in front of Him naked as the day I was born. He sat down on His bed and ordered me to lie down next to Him. He began to rub my body from my feet to the top of my head. My body quickly began to tingle. He stood up and started filling his table with his toys. I quietly watched Him as He placed a multitude of different paddles, straps, belts, and canes on the table. I was nervous but intrigued. He then started pulling out various ball-stretchers, dildos, and anal plugs. My fear went into overdrive.

I have never been much into ass play as a bottom. I have this almost obsessive fear of not being “clean”. That, along with the rape, made me extremely nervous about what I was seeing Him put on the table. I slowed my breathing down and tried to re-arrange my headspace. I was here for His enjoyment. I completely trust Him. He will not do me any physical, mental, or emotional harm. I placed my head on the mattress and closed my eyes.

He placed a modified cushion on the bed and told me to mount it.  I quickly did. I heard paddles scraping other paddles. I tensed up as I knew what was coming. He and I both love spanking. Being spanked by someone I have never played with can be disconcerting. You never know the skill, ability, or interest of the other person. I took a deep breath and exhaled. It will be what it will be.

He began spanking my butt. I quickly came to realize that He is very good at it. He used many different implements; paddles, canes, and straps. He varied the intensity which drove me to try harder and harder to make Him happy and pleased with me. Several times I came close to tears. The tears were part pain, and part joy. He intermixed the spanking with cuddling and stroking. Several time He scratched my head which sent me into ecstasy. He had no way to know but somehow He instinctively realized that the stroking and scratching of my head is a very intense intimate connection for me. It is not something that I allow many men to do.

He went back to the table. I heard a bottle of lube open. I cannot lie to you, I was frightened. I created a mantra in my head and tried to calm myself. He gentle massaged my hole with lube. He quickly flipped me over on my back placed a ‘Sparkplug’ on me. The cock ring portion went around my cock and balls and my cock was shoved up the shaft. He then turned me over and slowly inserted the other end up my ass. It went in a lot easier than I would have thought. He continued to caress me and tell me how well I was doing. It really helped. I found myself enjoying the ass play. He then told me to get dressed and took me to lunch; with the spark plug up my ass.

I really enjoyed my play with Him. He allowed me to enjoy some things that I had refused outright in the past. His calm, nurturing play allowed me to experience a lot with Him in a short amount of time. I am beginning to think there is something to this Sensual Sadism.

It's a Small, Small World

I have been chatting with a man that is interested in dominating me. It isn't the way that this kinda thing works for me but, He is authentic and has great references. He is a nice guy also. A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about a boy that was six or eight years older than I was. He worked at the same Boy Scout Camp as I did. We were both on staff. After the main camp closed and I left my Nature, and Waterfront duties, I took on a cooking position for a canoe expedition that traversed the river that the camp was on. This boy was the chief cook and bottle washer. We all stayed in a wooden cabin behind the mess hall.

I woke up from the dream with the boy's name ingrained in my memory. Later in the day, I jumped on RECON, to chat with the man. It was then that a cold shiver ran down my back. The boy and the man had the same name. I then asked the man if he ha d ever worked with Scouting and he told me he had. I was fourteen when I first met this boy and was seventeen the last time I saw him.

That year at Camp Drei was a pivotal one for me. It is the first time I played a dominant role with someone else. I spanked eight different members of the staff up on the top of Totem Pole Hill that year. It wasn't overtly sexual but I was hard when I spanked them and they were hard when I bared their butts for the spankings.

It was also the year that I had my first wet dream; it was in a military cot in the cabin behind the Mess Hall. It proved to me that I was warped. The dream was about Laverne and Shirley in a high school girl's room. (It took me a long time to get over that being a wet dream.) I would have several more but that was my first.
It gets even stranger. We are club brothers. We are both members of Discipline Corps. So let's keep score. He is gay as I am. He is at least as kinky as I am. It only took me thirty years to figure this all out. I now know where Aggie jokes come from.

Boy Leo’s Coming Out in Leather

Boy Leo and his Ma’am Sachi are members of my extended Leather family. We attend church together at the Cathedral of Hope and try to eat a meal together every Sunday. Boy Leo is fairly young in Leather but a very wise boy. I have always admired Sachi and have come to deeply respect Boy Leo. I recently asked Sachi for permission for Leo to write a post for Obedience Realized. I was honored when She gave Her permission and Boy Leo agreed to write the post. In Caps and Bold below are the questions and thoughts I put forward to Boy Leo to guide him in his posting.

I am looking for you to do a little exposition on your life. Not asking for the minute details, just more of an overview of your coming out into leather and how it has gone for you. I also would like you to talk about your BDSM relationship. Many of my readers are seeking such relationships. If you make mention of any play, I have a multitude of pictures to add. In the end be introspective and share as you would to a close friend.

Hey Vince! You asked me for an overview of my life and my coming out into leather. Here it goes.

Hello All Ya'll! I am boy leo, age 41, in the Dallas/Fort Worth region of Texas.

My life changed to become both a harder line to walk and a greater joy to live on October 14th of 2011. That was the night of my first ever kinky outing into the Dallas/Fort Worth BDSM community. I went to a DIKMunch! LOL! Still love that! It stands for "Diverse Interest Kinksters" and the "munch" is just another term for a meal and social gathering. I found all of this through the social online site: FetLife. The gathering was held at the "Sanctuary," a local dungeon and play-space.  I was terrified. Ready to bolt for the door at the first thing I could not handle. Well... I stayed for several hours.

Some of the most kind and easygoing people I had ever met showed me around and talked with me. They put me at ease and helped me see that they were more normal and fun than most vanilla folks in a bar watching sports. To this day I can only say that God himself was watching out for me as a newborn in this lifestyle; because I met "Sachi". She was kind enough to show me the toys in her play-kit and tell me more about what they were and how they were used. I had never seen any of those things before with the exception of two old friends, the paddle and the belt. However, everything there seemed so very familiar and the smell of the floggers, dragon tail, and other items of leather called to me. At that moment I fully realized where this building inner desire was coming from. All of my past youthful punishments! All those times I had acted out so often as a kid in order to get paddled or spanked!  I was craving those sensations again! And here in front of me was this sweet little lady with a bright sunny smile and a desire to help me fulfill something of what I needed.

It turned into a night of magical discovery for the both of us. Neither of us knew then what we were going to find. So, I shyly stripped down to my tiny little bikini-briefs and Ma'am restrained my wrists to a St. Andrews cross. Mind you this was in a public dungeon with dozens of other folks about including several Dungeon Safety Monitors. I felt safe... well, mostly, this was my first ever (official) experience with BDSM. And this sweet faced little lady proceeded to beat me into a horny state of euphoria that left my undies quite... ummm, wet. I was so turned on by the experience that I was dancing with the music and pushing my ass back into her and even in a lusty frenzy I tried to climb that damn cross several times. That is where we kinda discovered a very feline nature within me. She was also very much enjoying herself too. Several times I heard her giggling and I looked back to see her dancing and frolicking. Yes, defiantly a magical night.

Ma'am told me a few weeks later that she never expected anything that happened that night and how shocked she was to later realize all of the small things that clicked for her. It was the same for me that out of a lifetime of hard realities and sometimes meaningless toil all of my "everything" has fallen into place through that one seemingly very lucky connection with her. Before we parted ways that first night we had exchanged numbers and I was going to church with her on Sunday and coming over to have lunch with her bio family. Our relationship has grown steadily stronger and more vibrant with time until last month she officially put me under consideration for her collar.

Through Ma'am Sachiko I have found a calling to Leather. It is not an easy path she has started me on. In fact it is the hardest thing I have ever sought to challenge myself with. Leather is not a path that chooses you. You must choose to walk Leather. My Ma'am is fond of a saying that I also hear quite often in the community: "You have to be tall enough to ride this ride." I would like to add, "You need to be strong enough to walk this path of Leather; and when you do, bring honor, integrity and respect."

1. What draws you to obedience (most call this submission but I have rarely seen a man truly submit)?

I think I am drawn to obedience because of a driving need for structure and discipline in my life. Those are things sorely lacking in my upbringing that I find a craving for. Also, I feel somehow incomplete without them, as if parts of me are missing or perhaps were never even installed. When my Ma'am gives me a directive I suddenly find I have a purpose and that there is structure for me. With her discipline for herself and for me I find myself striving to live that obedience and to bring that directive to life for her. Once my drive to do whatever that is for her kicks in I want to do my absolute best for her and if I do not or I somehow fail her there is nothing she can say that will top my own unhappiness with myself.

I am also drawn to the obedience I find within Leather because of my own core beliefs. In my life I have explored various aspects of gaming: Dungeons and Dragons, Vampire the Masquerade, Star Wars, Online Games, Live Action Role Play and many others. They all gave me an appreciation for being someone that I considered better than myself; a heroic being willing and able to help others and who followed a code of ethics to guide him along his path of service. I loved the stories of King Arthur and his Knights and of the historical knights of the Dark and Middle Ages who followed the ideals of chivalry and service. I loved the stories of the Samurai Warriors and their way of Bushido and their tenets of Honor and Sacrifice for the greater good.

All of that should sound familiar to those walking the path of Leather. Granted it is different for everyone. However, the basics are usually the same: Honor, Integrity, and Respect. For me that rings of the ideals of chivalry and service to others and to the community. I can only hope that along my path I will prove my love and adherence to those ideals for the betterment of myself, my bio family, my leather family, my leather community and the community at large.

To those ends I willingly submit and obey my Ma'am to the best of my abilities. I am still learning what it means to be leather, to be obedient and to serve her. Will I be able to be the slave she deserves or just a damn good boy? I do not know. Both are honorable and good callings. Both will bring me joy and a feeling of being complete because I will be serving my Ma'am. Time will tell.

Today as I continue to learn of leather, obedience and service I find that I still want to be that hero I used to play in those games. Although today I am truly walking in the flesh a path born of the ideals of chivalry, honor and service; I do not play a game any longer and through my obedience I find an inner truth of what it means to serve. Through my Ma'am's leadership roles in the Leather Community I find and am given ways to help and serve our community. By following the ideals of Honor, Integrity, and Respect, I help and serve our community. As time goes on and I grow within our community, I will continue to do more and more. To me all of these things add up to be my forms of obedience, through service.

2. How do you live out your obedience? (discuss your relationship to your Ma'am here)

My Ma'am and I can never be together as much as we would like. Yet, when I am with her and with our budding Leather Family I must actively keep in mind that my duty is to serve without question. Why? Because I trust and believe in her and in the path she has chosen for herself and that I willingly follow along with her. I am beginning to find that the obedience is coming to me more naturally with time and experience. More and more often I am finding simple contentment in being given a directive and following it. Happily, my Ma'am loves me and she trusts in my experience and grants me lots of leeway to carry out what she asks of me. She often does this by giving a task where the end result is defined. How I get there is up to me. Other times she wants it done "this way" by "this time" and that narrows things. In either instance I still have the choice of "do" or "do not". Will I carry it out and succeed at what she has requested of me or will I falter and fail her? It is all up to me and I do not like failing. My choice then is to be obedient and to succeed.

3. What has been your experience with the leather community?

I have met many wonderful and fun people who work for and love their Leather Community. People who use their knowledge and skills to help those who want to learn of the LGBT community as well as kink and leather. Yet, more importantly these good hearted folk help those who are in need. I have seen and been a small part of some of the best any community has to offer. Our DFW Leather Community had donated time, food, and money as well as blood sweat and tears to help the downtrodden, the sick and the hungry within the LGBT, kinky and leather community as a whole and even beyond. It is an honor to be a part of this community and I hope to be among those who will help with those needs.

However, I have met one or two vultures who use the community and surround themselves with the blind followers and willing sycophants that enable their deprivations. Happily, most other such persons cling to the periphery. Like any monster they hide and strike at those who are new or unwary. I am very lucky to have found my Ma'am so quickly when coming out into the kinky community. With my past experiences I would have been easy meat for no other reason than it would have seemed familiar to me. Some of the best advice I was given is to only trust those who are willing to come out and be a part of the community. Do not allow yourself to be a hermit and do not fall in with a hermit. Only out in the light, being open and honest with those you meet can you be as safe as possible in following a kinky lifestyle.

4. Would anything help you to feel included in the community?

Thus far I am lucky I can say that I have felt very welcome and included in this Leather Community. Once again I owe that to a woman who loves and reveres Leather. My Ma'am has blazed a trail and set forth a path that I feel honored to now follow her upon. The many people she has introduced me to are always kind and seem genuinely happy to see me. At first that will be because they know and love my Ma'am. As I grow within the community it will be because they know and love me. I will have earned that through my own efforts.

5. Lastly, any insights that you have gleaned from your service in regards to service and being in service to another.

Give your fears to your dominant. Let them know what you are afraid of and trust in them to know you and keep you from needing to worry about that fear or if they believe they can bring you through that fear and release you from it. I am not saying let them "break you" of a fear. However, let them guide you through defeating it. If you find you cannot do that make sure they know it is a solid hard limit for you. Another great quote I love is from Master Obsidian. It concerns fear and the trust of a sub for the Dom: "The only way out is through."

Some say service is a gift that the submissive gives to their Dominant. I say service is a gift that the submissive gives to themselves. By serving another you give yourself the right to be free and to be humble. You still have the right to think for yourself you simply choose to limit that and submit to another. You let your Dominant direct you for the betterment of the unit that is the both of you. Through your efforts of service you create a place where the Dominant can use both of your energies to build something of benefit to the community. At least that is how it is for my Ma'am and I. This past weekend we worked to repair, paint and beautify her house. By doing so, we not only improved her property and its value but as well, we improved the community as a whole by showing that her house is well maintained so others in the community might also work to improve their properties.

I owe all of these many wonderful things to one woman. For her love and belief in me and for the wonderful Leather Friends and Leather Family she has brought into my life. There are no words that can express my gratitude to my Ma'am, Sachiko. Every day I have is a gift.

It is a simple thing when you think about it. To simply serve one person can be of benefit to many. What a beautiful thing.