Fisting

 

Being a gay Leatherman, I am going to discuss fisting as it relates to my play. What is fisting? The short answer to that question is the insertion of a hand or hands into the rectum of another man. Let’s discuss the specifics of this kink.

The first thing to realize about fisting is that it is something that has to be prepared for. Generically, a man’s hole is too tight to allow a hand in. A man and his hole must be slowly trained to accept the hand. This can be done by inserting fingers into the anus until all five fingers are in. This will normally take several different sessions and tries. Another way to train the anus is to use training plugs. You just start at the smallest plug and move up the scale until the submissive is ready to take the hand.
 

 

The picture above shows how the hand should be shaped to enter the anus. This allows the fingers to start in before getting to the knuckles. There are other preparations that must be followed in order for both men to enjoy the experience. The first is to start a liquid diet the day before being fisted. Prior to being fisted, the man should use an enema to clean himself out.

Realistically there are two positions for the submissive to be in to be fisted: doggie style or flat of his back. I prefer to have the submissive kneeling doggie style. This gives me full access to the submissive’s hole. It also gives me outstanding access to the prostate. Once my hand is all the way in the hole, I can massage and rub the prostate to pleasure and torture the submissive.

Some men wear gloves when they fist. I do not. I make sure my nails are trimmed short and my hands are clean. I spread the hole open with my fingers until I get my fist in past my knuckles. I then go deeper and pull back. The reality is that I am fucking him with my hand and arm. As with all kinks, everyone gets something different out of it. What I enjoy is the loss of control by the man being fisted. At a certain depth and point, the man being fisted will lose control of his sphincter muscle and the cheeks of his ass.  His ass will vibrate quickly. His hole will begin to swallow my arm. The deepest I have fisted was up to my elbow.

There are other things that can be done while fisting. A relaxed hole can be punched by both fists. Two hands can be inserted into a man’s anus. The prostate can be handled and stroked. There are many other ways to torture a man when you are acting as a puppeteer.

Surrender



This blog entry was written by my friend Sachiko. Here writings can be found at https://fetlife.com/users/110219.

I am going to use the terms Top and bottom for the sake of this posting, please understand that I mean for all power exchange designations, but I’m using those for simplicity sake.*

Anybody can submit. We do it all the time, Top, bottom, switch, Master, slave, submissive, you name it, occasionally we submit. We submit to society’s laws, to our own culture’s customs, to our boss, our partner, our parents etc…, shrugs, nothing extraordinary about that. I’m just not that impressed by the concept of submitting. It’s lovely but not EXTRAORDINARY, at least not for me.

Surrender is what I want to talk about today.

Surrender, that place that can only be achieved though absolute trust and devotion.

Surrender. Now that is a different thing entirely. The Webster definition most closely linked to the surrender I’m talking about is…to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand. I believe surrender is a beautiful thing, and being a switch I mean that in the sincerest terms possible from both a Top and a bottoms perspective.

I have been in service to a Top before now, in fact, more than once. I have been designated a submissive before as well as a slave. I have also been told I’m not a “submissive”, “slave”, “dominant”, “switch” etc… according to whoever was talking to me at the moment and according to whatever definition they held for those titles or according to how they felt about me at that time. Lucky me, the only definitions that matter to me, are the ones held by myself and those who either are in service to me, or who I am in service to, and hopefully you feel the same way. This post is not to win people over to my point of view, or to change anyone else’s point of view, it’s simply to voice something I’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time, your mileage, can and should vary.

Surrender, that amazing state I entered unintentionally, and was startled to find myself in. That state of being that upon first finding myself there, I didn’t even have a word to differentiate this from any place I had ever been while being in service ever before. One day I realized on my own (this was not a demand from my Sir, nor did it enter into our negotiations) that he would NOT get a “no” from me. I didn’t think about this ahead of time. I wasn’t thinking “if only there was some way I could show him how committed I am to him, how much I value his dominance etc…” Rather, what happened was, he ordered me to do something and I was so sure it was something I could not do successfully, I literally threw up. I will never forget I was in the middle of Wal mart shopping with a friend, got this direction on the phone, and ran to the bathroom and lost my breakfast. I was literally sick because I knew I could NOT do what he asked me to do. Please understand not that I wouldn’t do it, but that I couldn’t succeed at doing it. My answer to his direction was “Yes Sir” as always. He said do it, so I was going to do it, and I was going to fail. I was so surprised that I felt that way. I was shocked that it was so vital to me to obey no matter what. No matter what my personal opinion of the direction was, no matter what I thought my odds of success were, no matter what I thought following that direction was going to cost me personally, the answer was Yes Sir, no matter what. That was profound for me. Profound enough that internally I went… "what the heck was that all about?" Profound enough that we discussed it later and btw… when we discussed it and he heard my feelings about the direction, he did change the direction, my Master is NOT a bastard…lol but the point is, he didn’t have too. The fact that he’s a smart guy and heard some additional information about his decision that had a bearing on it and he modified his direction still didn’t change the fact that he was NOT going to get a no. That is the surrender I’m talking about.

Please understand, I am a Dominant, no question about it. My personality is that of a Dominant. This is true inside or outside the lifestyle. If I never had a power exchange relationship again the rest of my life, If I never darkened the door of a Dungeon, if I never attended another Leather function ever again, I am still a Dominant, forever, because that is how I am wired inside. Yet, I’m a slave, a fully surrendered slave to my Master. Master Z gets this concept, I think he is the first person I ever heard to articulate it, although I’m not sure even I understood it the first time he said,” I have all these slaves and not a submissive in the bunch, every last one of them is a Dominant.” Later, I gotcha Master Z, later I had my aha moment and that statement finally made sense to me. Please understand that it cost me personally to admit to myself that I was a slave. I have never liked that term, I have never felt that it applied to me, and I always thought that it would “cost’ me something precious somehow. I am however a surrendered slave to my Master, my own precious Sir. And I’m glad at last that I can say it… and it doesn’t cost me a thing. I’m still me, I’m still my dear boys Ma’am, I’m still the Dominant person that I am, I’m still the wanton slut, the devoted mom, the faith filled Christian, but I’m also His surrendered, owned property and that dear friends is a lovely, warm, safe, joy filled place to be!

 

My Family

 

When this blog was first started, my family comprised of my Master and myself. That relationship failed. I am currently in a relationship with two men who are my boys. This blog entry will discuss our relationship.

 

Ron is my alpha boy. He was collared in April ’13. Ron is 56 years old. We have been in a Dominant/submissive relationship since December ’11. In the leather community at large, Ron is a switch. He is submissive to me but has relationships where he is dominant to others. Ron is very instrumental in the puppy movement. He is a handler as am I.

 

I have been a friend of Ron since 2001. He has helped me deal with issues in my life and I have helped him. Ron sleeps in the bed beside me and tries to serve me to the best of his ability.

 

David, aka Tigger, is my second boy. David is 37 years old. He has not been collared yet but has signed a relationship contract with me. I plan to collar Tigger in the near future. Tigger sleeps in the second bedroom which is also our dungeon. Tigger, by trade, is a chef. Because he cooks all day, we rarely get to eat his cooking but when we do it is unbelievably good.

I met Tigger at Camp Red Tails (http://www.manshandfilms.com/camp.html).  He contacted me online before he arrived at camp. We chatted about his experiences and what he was hoping to find at camp. He was very busy at his first camp.

I was chatting with Tigger in the summer of ’12 and he told me he was searching for a job and had been unemployed for a year. I searched in Dallas and found several openings. I offered him the second bedroom if he wanted to come and stay. Soon after that, we began discussing a more formalized relationship.

Both of my boys are instrumental in my life. They give me the family that I have searched for. They give me the space to be the Dominant I am and the Dominant I will become. The turn my house into a home.

 

Spanking

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Life, Liberty, and the Search for Family

As a gay man, I can state that I have had a desire for a family of like-minded people that accept me. I obviously did not find this in my family of origin. I have spent my time since leaving home trying to find places that filled this void.

It is the acceptance that I crave. I have searched for the acceptance in the United States Marine Corps, leather clubs, and in Master/slave relationships. I have found that I do not want people that necessarily think like me because that does not allow me to change and grow (USMC). I do not want to be forced to play like other people because that does not allow me learn new things (leather clubs).

I don’t think that I am alone in this need for acceptance and family. Of the men that I play with as a Dominant or submissive, at least 80% allow this drive to enter into their play with other men. In my little family of three, we have a puppy that is striving hard to become a member. It is a conversation with the puppy that has brought about this blog post. He asked me what family means to me.

Family, for me, is a group of men that love you for who you are and not for what you can do for them. These men are intensely loyal. They are focused on the physical and emotional welfare of their brothers.

As in all relationships, our leather families have their issues. This does not mean that the idea is flawed. It just means that we must strive to meet our ideals. There is who we seek to be and who we are. As long as the family realizes that both exist, it can weather any storm.