Catharsis

Catharsis is a word and an experience that many in the BDSM community are familiar with. For those who may not know what it means, a catharsis is defined as a purging of emotion that brings about renewal and release from tension. Most people I have met in the BDSM, particularly those into scenes that involve inflicting and receiving physical pain, have been told, “I cannot imagine what you could possibly find appealing about doing that!”

In short- it is usually the cathartic experiences that people have in BDSM that keep them coming back for more. I have heard these experiences discussed in many contexts, and have heard of the many ways that they have manifested. Sometimes it is the pure physical intensity of a session that will take the body and the mind to a new place, and other times it is a very special connection that exists between the dominant and the submissive that is enough to elicit a VERY intense physical and emotional experience.

You will hear guys talk about the endorphin rush that accompanies their play, and that increases with intensity and emotional connection. The body releases endorphins in response to new, sudden, and/or intense stimuli. Physical pain is widely known to be a cause for endorphin release. Therefore it is not surprising that when engaging in BDSM play, the body is prone to flood with endorphins in response to the physical pain, especially during times when the intensity rises to a place the submissive has never been to before. However, it is not just physical pain that can cause this reaction. Strong emotional feelings of excitement, stress, and fear can also cause this reaction. Physically, it is the body defending itself…. Mentally, endorphins often give the individual intensely gratifying feelings.

People react to these experiences in different ways. Crying is a very common reaction. I used to become confused when I would see a grown man getting a whipping that was really not that intense, yet he was bawling his eyes out. I would think, “does it really hurt THAT bad?” The answer- NO! In fact, I have heard many people say that it is almost completely an emotional connection that brings their tears, and that the pain itself is merely a motivator. Who hasn’t cried their eyes out at one point or another? I think everyone could agree that it often releases a lot of built up tension. This is why many people crave this experience and want someone to “make them cry.” I have heard men talk about how receipt of a beating helps to eliminate feelings of stress and guilt. Another description of these experiences that I’ve heard very often and have, in fact, had myself, is a feeling of being “high” off of the pain, the connection, and/or the session. Some people become withdrawn and lethargic, some sleep, and some people even become hyperactive. Regardless of their poison in BDSM, many view these experiences as the perfect drug.

Although it is amazing to have cathartic experiences, they don’t supplant the use of common sense and the realization of one’s own limits. It can be like any other addiction in which too much is never enough, which can have terrible consequences. Another dark side of these experiences is that some people emotionally crash after having them, and go from feeling on top of the world to depressed, sad, or anxious. Always remember… what goes up must come down. Therefore, as mentioned countless times within Obedience Realized, it is always important to play with responsible people- people who will help you go up, but can also help you come back down from these intense experiences.

Be safe, have fun, and enjoy!

Joey