Dominance and Pain

A reader of my blog on Pain asked for me to continue the conversation by specifically writing about Pain, as it pertains to my dominance. Keeping in mind my previous statements, here are my thoughts.
I cannot lie. Inflicting pain does get my dick hard. There is just something about a good submissive taking what I am giving and trusting me to do it right. Honestly, the look in a man’s eyes as he finally lowers those mental walls and lets me in is priceless.
For me, there is something that happens in me when a man submits to a spanking or any other of the multitude of ways I can cause pain. They take the pain because I give it. Some have shared what is in their heads and what drives that need for the pain I give, but in the end, they have submitted to it. The amount of pain or the length that it is suffered is not important to me. It is seeing the man get what he is looking for that pushes me over the edge.
I am going to share three different experiences with three different men that are examples of what I am talking about.
Jay is also into my gateway fetish of spanking. We met from an ad in a now defunct hookup board. That was in 1999, so I have been spanking him for ten years now. We first met in my hotel room in Arlington, VA. We had a pleasant session and went on our way. We chatted and played again and I have been playing ever since. We have become good friends and he is a man that will call me on the carpet when he thinks I need it. With that being said, he has a serious problem with my submissive side. Jay takes extremely long and severe spankings from me. During our three-day weekends, the spankings can last six to eight hours with diminutive breaks. We eat a meal and then back at it. Jay takes a huge amount of spanking and very rarely bruises. He is the only man that has every caused me to shoot my load while I was fully dressed and spanking him. He also has another fetish that we will discuss later. The connection between us is palpable during a scene.
Boy Jake was a nervous wreck during the first time we played. We had talked long and hard about what was expected and things that could happen. He was shaking and hard as a rock when I had him strip. For six hours I inflicted pain after pain in my boy. At times, he was scared. He cried and wailed and begged. The one thing he did not do, ask me to stop. The last 20 strokes he got were with a switch. His body was twitching so bad that it was hard for me to hit the mark. Boy Jake marvels at that first time of play. I have to say that I was pleased also, not because he took a lot of pain (he did). What got me hard was the fact that he trusted my skills and me and allowed me to inflict pain until I saw the look in his eyes. The look was one of fear of not being able to take it. With that fear coursing through his veins, he still held position.
Pup Dave and I have played a few times. As I have discussed before,the submission that exudes from from Pup Dave does something to me as a Dominant. Although, our play is not just about pain, he has taken a great deal from me and never asked me to stop or even moved out of space. Pup Dave and I had a wonderful Dominant/submissive time filled with intense pain in the playspace at Camp Red Tails in th early morning hours. The way he grabed hold off me and held on for dear life was powerful. Even though that was in July, my cock is fighting the chastity device for room. Allowing me complete control and his gift to me of tears marks it as one of my favorite moments in my BDSM life.
These different experiences are the submission that stokes my dominance. I don’t see it in every person I play with, but when I do it is powerful. This is what makes my play with Jay, Boy Jake, and Pup Dave so special.

Pain

Today’s blog started as a conversation between a friend of mine and me. We both discovered that what gets us off in any scene is the submission, not the pain. I will even go so far as to say that I do not like pain. Many people find this odd considering what I do most of the day, every day. A session with Master, or with another Dominant has nothing to do with the amount of pain given by the Master or Dominant. It is the gift of submission that I give to the Dominant that is important to me. Honestly, I can be in my most submissive state from an over the knee hand spanking as I can from a six hour pain fest.
Pup Dave and I have a similar problem. Because of some of our play, we have been termed, by some, as pain pigs. That offends pup and me because it is not what we are and not our submissive realities. Master obviously pushes all the right buttons for me. Because He desired to put a collar around my neck, I am His slave boy. Master’s play runs the spectrum. When He does anything with me, my gift of submission is that I will take whatever He gives. If He desires me over His knee while he gently slaps my ass, He will get me over His knee while He gently slaps my ass. If He wants me chained down to a spanking bench while He canes and beats my ass a thousand different shades of black and blue, that is what He will get. This is the submission that I freely give to Him. I am immensely lucky that He placed His collar around my neck. I do not like pain and do not like being in pain but sometimes I need it bad. The most definite reason I take what He gives is because He desires it and it makes His cock hard. Those are my goals.
Pup gave a great insight about the whole issue: “In fact, if someone thinks I enjoy the pain, it makes the act of submission worthless because that would mean the whole thing is just a selfish act.” I could not agree more.
Pain is a means to an end. It flavors the play but is not the goal.