Spanking to Tears

I had a recent conversation with a man that wanted to be spanked to tears. He had talked to his friend who was a spankee also. The second spankee was telling the first about being spanked to tears and how awesome it was. The first spankee is a regular partner and trusted me to try to take him there. I want to share my philosophy on spanking to tears.

Crying during any BDSM session and especially spanking is a cathartic experience. It is an amazing experience as a Dominant and as a submissive. As a Dominant, I feel that tears during a session are a gift to me. It means the submissive has total trust in me and is comfortable sharing his tears. We have all head the saying that “Big boys don’t cry”. A submissive has to feel able to show that, and feel comfortable of everyone’s acceptance.

The spankee that started this conversation asked me how I can make him cry. Anyone who guarantees that he will make you cry is a liar and dishonest. What a Dominant can do is apply pressure to the spankee in a multitude of ways to help facilitate tears. The submissive has the control over the tears.

The spankee asked me how he could control the tears. I answered by his headspace. For tears to come, the submissive has to have given up control of the play. We all know that this is not reality but the submissive has to suspend reality and feel like he has no control over the spanking. The Dominant can assist this by making the pain intense enough for the submissive to forget that he is in control.

When I have cried, I also had in my mind ways in which I had failed others. This helps me take ownership of the punishment. When the intensity gets high enough, the tears come. This has happened with three of the “Four Tops”.

Crying is sought by many submissive because of its benefits. These benefits include the after care, the high from the endorphins and the cathartic feeling. While it is a goal, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. It is not the fault of either participant. It just sometimes isn’t meant to happen.

I spanked the spankee. I did several things to push him into the right headspace. I gave him an intense spanking that lasted for forty-five minutes, but no tears came. As I explained to the spankee, it didn’t happen this time but we could do the exact same thing another time and it might bring tears. The spankee took a serious beating from me. I hope he finds a way to let those tears go.

Tears are definitely a gift from the submissive to the Dominant. They should be cherished. If they don’t happen, neither party should be upset. If you have not cried in a scene, it is something to try. So, It sounds like you have been needing this spanking for a while. You know you deserve it.