I am going to discuss a topic that is integral to what we do but this may seem a bit preachy. If that offends, you might want to wait for my next installment.
Lets face it, we all lie in some way. We all tell the white lies. Some fudge their age; some their height or weight. In the leather community, many will fudge their experience level. I realize this and understand it. Although I try to avoid it like the plague, I am sure that I am guilty of it.
In a Dominant/submissive relationship, it is a poison that will sour the entire relationship. As a dominant, I need to know that everything that boy Jake tells me is the truth. No matter how bad something is, I can deal with it if I have all the true facts. Acting on falsehoods will eventually dishonor me and my boy.
As a submissive, I owe my Master the truth. I am his property and that means all of me. By lying to Master, I create a a little place inside myself that the Master cannot reach that holds the truth. He cannot act in my best interests because he no longer knows what my best interests are.
Masters (send your hate mail to...) also must be honest with their boys. They need to do it not because they owe it to the boys but because the Masters are the face of the family. The loss of integrity by a Master is a very difficult thing for a boy to overcome. So much of what we do is trust based. Without that trust, our play stops and our relationships stop.
I am not saying that we should use the truth to hurt each other. There are times when a white lie to the question “Do these chaps make my ass look big?” is needed. I just think we need to keep them to a minimum. My father taught me long ago that the worst ass beating you will ever get is for lying. It hurts your butt and it hurts your soul.
Interesting what you had to say about honesty. It is fundamental in a dom/sub relationship and a sub who is not willing to be honest to his master is not willing to give the devotion necessary to be a good sub.
ReplyDeleteYou are so so right about the Master need to be honest because the sub must put himself completely in the hands of his master, as you said the master's integrity must be unquestionalbe.
May I call you pete? Yes, I believe honesty is the very foundation of what we do. Without it, there can be no trust. It is one of the few constants across all D/s relationships. Thank you for your comments.
ReplyDeleteCall me Pete - its my name.
ReplyDeleteI actually expect a little bit of dishonesty in my subs, its in the nature of boys to lie and in the nature of authoritarians to correct them. If I have a discipline realtionship with a sub I eventually will expect total honesty and will react acordingly if my expectations are disappointed.
There are men who I wil submit to. I always try to be totally honest with these men, even if it means incurring their displeasure. I would rather atone than dissemble.