Obedience Realized

Spanking Contracts Revisited

2012-01-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

Recently, I have had a few people ask me to post thespanking contract that I had with DFWguy1978. I am more than willing to post it(without his real name). If people want to use it as a template for theirspanking contracts, I give them free reign to do so. As I said before, theseare gentleman’s agreements. They are non-enforceable by anyone except those whosign it and as long as it is consensual.

Here is the contract:

Strapping Contract

This document is a contract between Vince Eastland (known asStrapper in this document) and XXXX XXXXX (known as Strappee in this document).The strappee is asking the strapper to train him in the ability to take straplicks. Both parties are aware of the possible consequences of said activity andaccept those consequences.

Duration

This contract will be in force for one month from the dateof the first strapping. At the end of the duration of this contract, bothparties will decided whether to renew the contract, change the contract, or letthe contract end.

Responsibilities

The responsibilitiesof the strapper are as follows:

1) Be at theappointed location at the appointed time for the session.

2) Maintainthe strapping location for the strappee to allow for strapping and otheractivities without fear of exposure or disclosure to persons that are notsignatories of this contract.

3) Maintainthe various straps in terms of oiling and cleanliness to minimize undue damageto the strappee.

The responsibilities of the strappee are as follows:

1) Be at theappointed location at the appointed time for the session. 2000 hours means 2000hours, not 2001 hours.

2) Be readyand able to take anything and everything the strapper is willing to give.

3) Remain afine upstanding citizen; no tickets, no criminal charges, no NSF charges.

Infractions

Infractions committed by the strappee include having tochange a time of a session or postpone a session or failure to discharge any ofthe above responsibilities. After three infractions by the strapper, thestrappee has the option of nullifying the contract.

Infractions that may possibly be committed by the strappee include having tochange a time of a session or postpone a session or failure to discharge any ofthe above responsibilities. The first infraction shall incur a 75 swat penaltyto be carried out at the earliest possible time at the beginning of a session. Thesecond infraction shall incur a 125 swat penalty to be carried out at theearliest possible time at the beginning of a session. The third infractionshall incur a 150 swat penalty with the heavy strap and a 100 swat penalty withanother instrument of the strapper’s choice. At a third infraction by thestrappee, the strapper has the option of nullifying the contract.

Session

The first session will set the tone for the rest of thesessions. After the first strapping is given, the strapper will give the strappeea number for the sessions in that week. If the strapper were to give 50 in thefirst strapping, the remaining strappings that week would be of the same numbernotwithstanding any penalty swats.

Going forward, the strapper will inform the strappee of anincrease of swats on the next session. The strapper retains control of thestrappee’s sexual activity. At any time the strapper can restrict or encouragemasturbation.

The first session began 6/3/2011 with 50 swats.

This is the total contract between Vince Eastland and XXXXXXXXXX.

There is the contract. Do with it as you will. Most of all, have fun.

Spanking to Tears

2012-01-22T13:15:00.000-08:00

I had a recent conversation with a man that wanted to bespanked to tears. He had talked to his friend who was a spankee also. Thesecond spankee was telling the first about being spanked to tears and howawesome it was. The first spankee is a regular partner and trusted me to try totake him there. I want to share my philosophy on spanking to tears.

Crying during any BDSM session and especially spanking is a catharticexperience. It is an amazing experience as a Dominant and as a submissive. As aDominant, I feel that tears during a session are a gift to me. It means thesubmissive has total trust in me and is comfortable sharing his tears. We haveall head the saying that “Big boys don’t cry”. A submissive has to feel able toshow that, and feel comfortable of everyone’s acceptance.

The spankee that started this conversation asked me how Ican make him cry. Anyone who guarantees that he will make you cry is a liar anddishonest. What a Dominant can do is apply pressure to the spankee in amultitude of ways to help facilitate tears. The submissive has the control overthe tears.

The spankee asked me how he could control the tears. Ianswered by his headspace. For tears to come, the submissive has to have givenup control of the play. We all know that this is not reality but the submissivehas to suspend reality and feel like he has no control over the spanking. TheDominant can assist this by making the pain intense enough for the submissiveto forget that he is in control.

When I have cried, I also had in my mind ways in which I hadfailed others. This helps me take ownership of the punishment. When theintensity gets high enough, the tears come. This has happened with three of the “FourTops”.

Crying is sought by many submissive because of its benefits.These benefits include the after care, the high from the endorphins and thecathartic feeling. While it is a goal, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. It isnot the fault of either participant. It just sometimes isn’t meant to happen.

I spanked the spankee. I did several things to push him intothe right headspace. I gave him an intense spanking that lasted for forty-five minutes,but no tears came. As I explained to the spankee, it didn’t happen this time butwe could do the exact same thing another time and it might bring tears. Thespankee took a serious beating from me. I hope he finds a way to let thosetears go.

Tears are definitely a gift from the submissive to theDominant. They should be cherished. If they don’t happen, neither party shouldbe upset. If you have not cried in a scene, it is something to try. So, Itsounds like you have been needing this spanking for a while. You know youdeserve it.

Morning wood

2011-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

I had sex dreams all night long. When I woke up I was horny as hell. Maybe, I will be able to take care of that urge this afternoon. I am so glad that the session was already setup. Spanking and fucking are my two favorite pastimes. Maybe some of the pictures will cause a few of you to rise to the occasion. If that happens, my work is done. Enjoy

Humor

2011-11-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

There are several spankos out there that are making comics. I thought I would share some. Hopefully they will bring a smile to your face.

Quarterly Play

2011-11-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Some men have a problem with a Dominant submitting to another Dominant. In my experience, it happens more often than not. It just isn’t publicized to keep the submissive head spaces of subs intact. I try to get my submissive card punched at least once a quarter.

We have talked about the “Four Tops” in previous blogs. The groups is Copper in L.A., Jay in NYC, David Merrill Rosen in Washington, D.C. , and DFWRuff in Dallas. As He is the closest, DFWRuff and I setup a get together at his home. People even at BDSM play parties sometimes get concerned with our play. It is best to keep it out of sight out of mind.

Being a Dominant, it takes a bit to get my head in a submissive head space. The “Four Tops” have the benefit of twisting my head to a submissive state very quickly. For example, when I arrived at DFWRuff’s house He welcomed me in and gave me a big hug. We went upstairs and sat down in the television room. He continued to rub my head. Rubbing my head helps to calm the fears I have about what it about to happen and the instruments He is about to use. In the request for the play, I had requested a brutal item, a carbon fiber and rubber composite cane. I had learned that my former Master had banned Him from using it on me. I was humiliated at that. I told DFWRuff that I wanted and needed it. At the same time it scared me so much that I shook and shivered for the four days prior to the meeting.

After the preliminaries, He sent me to bedroom. He had me drop my jeans. He was aware that I had stopped wearing underwear during my last relationship, so He wasn’t surprised. It actually made His job easier. He started with a little had spanking to get me ready. Quickly went to a duo of a small, heavy rubber paddle that stung tremendously and a heavy oak paddle that His boy had built for Him. Things quickly got intense. Several times I unfortunately stood up and was coaxed back down.

Eventually, He got me up on the bed facing the headboard. This allowed me to grab hold of the mattress to keep from jumping up. He asked me a question which I did not answer. The composite cane then fell on both of my upper thighs to make His point. He made the point I will always answer Him immediately. The composite can began to be used more and more. I had started to cry within the first five minutes of play. Now that the composite can was being used I was bawling. As DFWRuff has told me several times, Switches playing with Switches always ends up intense because the Switch Top knows exactly what pains the Switch bottom the most.

After we finished DFWRuff checked in with me to see if I was still flying from the spanking. It took a bit to come down off of the endorphins. He gave me a bear hug, a head rub and sent me on my way.

The pictures in this blog are of me at different times after the session. I can say now that I am still bruised and sore. The session is what I needed and has served me well. I look forward to my next session with DFWRuff.

Rimming

2011-10-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

I havehad several questions from newbies about rimming. Rimming is an either / orthing with me. I either want to or not. I either want it done to me or not. Asa friend of mine says, “Rimming is a binary situation; it is or it isn’t withnothing in between.” I agree with him. Let’s define what we are talking about.

Rimmingis using the tongue to lick and play with the rectum. There many different philosophieson rimming. It is my blog so you will get my philosophy. I like a guy to beclean. Let me be specific. If you are older than six, you should know how to wipeyour ass. With that said, I do like to have a man that has sweated a bit. Itgives the man a nice “taste”. I cannot stand the taste of soap. That isprobably why I will do anything to keep a bar out of my mouth.

I findthe best position for a good rimming is to have the rimee in the 6-9 positionif he is showing his appreciation or in the doggie position if he isn’t. Bothgive the rimmer the access that he needs. A good rimmer will start off byteasing the rimee. A lick along the inside of the cheek, a quick circuit of therectum, always gets a guy to start squirming. Once you are both getting intoit, flip him over on his back and hold his legs in the air. That gives peoplelike me, who have long tongues, the ability to fuck him with my tongue.

What arethe cons? There are very few if you are into it. For the rimmer, you have a possibilityof contracting Hepatitis C if the rimee has it. You also have a very slightrisk of contracting HIV. There would have to be blood to blood contact. Theonly way I can possibly think of this happening would be for the rimee to bepositive and have slightly torn tissue at the rectum. The rimmer would have toalso have bleeding in his mouth. As I said, it is a very slight chance butstill a chance.

Rimmingcan be a lot of fun. By itself, or with other sex it is a fun way to exploreyour partner’s body. A little pleasure with a lot of pain is a good thing!

Mentoring

2011-08-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

As all of my readers know, my BDSM relationships have not gone well in the last two years. After much soul searching and self-defacement, I have come to realize that I did a disservice to both of my boys. They were both very eager and I allowed myself to think it was in the interests of us to collar them. It was a poor choice. While those relationships no longer exist, I do still feel a need to share myself.

I do get to play a lot. Dallas is a happening town and I take advantage of that. Great BDSM play and awesome sex is a very good thing, but I want to do more. To do this I have started mentoring.

“Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience (the mentor) and a person who is perceived to have less (the protégé)" (Bozeman, B.; Feeney, M. K. (October 2007). "Toward a useful theory of mentoring: A conceptual analysis and critique". Administration & Society 39 (6): 719–739. doi:10.1177/0095399707304119. http://aas.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/39/6/719). I find that this has become very lacking in some of our communities.

I currently mentor two boys. They are both great men (or I wouldn’t waste my time). They bring different challenges to me that I embrace. Lets face it, mentoring a boy is the closest thing I will ever have to a son. It is a joy to see the joy in their eys after they have taken their first single tailing or flogging. Seeing them both grow into upstanding men in the BDSM community warms my heart.

There many different ways to share our lives with others. Mentoring is just one such way. Find a way that works for you and keep the BDSM community strong.

Cum Play

2011-08-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

I honestly wondered about placing this in a BDSM blog. It is a form of play that is very dangerous if you are not aware of your partner or partners’ health status. HIV is transmitted through cum (semen). IT IS NOT a safe sex practice. There are ways to lessen the possibility of transmission but they are not 100% effective.

There is definitely something about shooting a load of cum all over a man’s face. Swallowing of cum ranks second to anal sex in ability to transmit and contract HIV. The practice of pulling out of a man’s mouth and shooting the load of spunk in various places became common. Playing with a person’s own cum has also become a safer sex act.

The truth be told, porn producers love the idea of the money shot. It is a very visual act and we all know that men love visuals. There are so many different ways to show the actor’s “happiness”. Because of the advent of HIV, many men are willing to buy a lot of porn that shows cum everywhere.

To be honest, semen has some very interesting quality. As anyone who has walked into a room after someone has had sex can tell you, it has a very distinct smell. It also has a slightly salty taste. It also hardens into a crusty appearance that can be spotted by a man from twenty paces.

I have enclosed pictures of the play. You can assume that everyone in the pictures were aware of the risks before they began the play. If the pictures help you to spread a little “happiness” then my job is done.

The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

2011-07-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

It is funny, but it does surprise me about how open guys can be about their fantasies online. I think that part of it is that they want to get their rocks off and want you to participate in the fantasy. That is okay. I just prefer a more real situation. This blog will show you why you must be careful when sharing your fantasies with me. They turn into reality.

As you all know, Joey was the last boy that I collared. He was a good friend of my first collared boy, Jake. We chatted online and on the phone for a while before Joey decided that he wanted to visit me in Palm Springs. For those that do not know, Joey has a big time fetish for Police Officers and the things they do. He had mentioned several times, jokingly, that it would serve him right if we were undercover cops that arrested him when he landed and spanked his ass in the car all the way to the station.

My Master at the time and I were waiting at the terminal when Joey’s plane arrived. Joey called to say he was coming out the front door. I knew this because I was standing in the shade looking at him. After he hung up, I walked up to him. He had a big smile on his face and reached out to hug me. I grabbed his arm and brought it around to the middle of his back and told him, “Bring the luggage!” The Palm Springs Airport Police Office looked intrigued but let us go on our way. He said as I passed; “let me know if you need assistance.” I told him that I had it covered. I walked him out to our pick-up that was in the waiting lane and placed him over the hood of the truck. I kicked his luggage out of my way and placed my hand on his shoulder. I began to pat him down and found that he had several things in his pockets. I jerked it all out and threw it on the hood of the truck. The pat search was through and Joey’s breathing had changed. I put it all in an evidence bag. I then had him place his hands on his head and cuffed him. Joey’s body was occasionally shivering. I placed him in the center area of the truck, picked up his bags and away we went. We stopped at Hamburger Mary’s and I yanked him out of the truck and threw him over the hood again. I un-cuffed him and told him, “Be good or you know what will happen.” He meekly replied, “Yyyes Sir.” I turned around to the host standing behind me and said. “Three please.” The silence in the restaurant was beautiful. The host sat us in a both next to two on duty California Highway Patrolmen. The stared at me, I stared at them. Finally the both nodded and we ate.

The moral is to be very careful when you let me into your fantasies. You never know what might happen. Ask Joey.

Joey has agreed to do his side of what happened at a latter date. The pictures are obviously not of Joey but the video at the end was the video taken as it happened.

Enjoy.

Joey's response

Needless to say it was an interesting first meeting. Vince wrote the truth, I do have a thing for cops and arrest scenes. It had been something we talked about casually, but never anything I had ever thought about seriously. I think it is always a little nerve racking to meet people, but this definitely took the cake for the most bizarre first meeting I ever had.

Once I had arrived at the airport I called and said I was on my way out he said that they would be waiting. Now, normally when you meet someone you have some sort of small talk….. well the talk was small to say the least. To be honest, the ideas of the arrest scene etc were not on my mind as we headed to the car without a word. I was, however thinking that maybe he was shy or just not friendly or something.

However, when we got to the car I found myself being patted down and put in handcuffs. I laughed at first was like, “ok you got me!” However, after being told not to say another word and to ‘spread em’ I realized that he was seriously going to carry this out. I started shaking a bit to be honest. The funny part is, as hot as I normally found this scenario, it was pretty terrifying. There were people all over the place and they certainly got an eye-full. I think the best part was the guy in the car next to us muttered “busted.” I think perhaps the oddest thing for me was the number of people who carried on as though they saw this sort of thing all the time (welcome to Palm Springs I guess).

Riding in the car was definitely a bit awkward all things considered, and it definitely was a treat when the Palm Springs PD just happened to be parked outside the restaurant we chose when we pulled up. That is when things went from awkward to comical. The seating host seemed unsure whether or not to even sit us down when Vince asked for a table. Things finally loosened up a bit and we had a good time….. but it was definitely a lesson in being careful what you wish for!

Joey

Camp Red Tails 2011 Conclusion

2011-07-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

Camp was another great experience. We had an abnormal year of cool weather, so the pool wasn’t warm but the butts sure were. It was spankfest.

There are always old friends that you don’t get to see at camp and new friends that you make. This year was no different. We had a crew of new campers that brought their own flavor to camp. In some ways camp is the same every year and in other ways it isn’t. The constant influx of new people is a benefit of camp.

I had experiences at camp with friends I have had forever but we had just never played. I had a mind-blowing experience with on of the “Four Tops”. Two of the “Four Tops” are always in attendance at camp. I always have a great time with both of them, because they are great Tops, and great friends. The mind-blowing experience was a trick pulled out of the bag of Copper. He knew exactly what buttons to push. It was the most intense spanking-strapping-punishment I have received in about five years. It did what it was supposed to and all is right with the world. Jay from New York and I closed camp as we have for the past few years. It is always an intense and gratifying scene.

As I left camp this year, Mr. Conelly gave me a copy of his new release “MHV-181 Busted Brothers at W TK”. I told him that I would review it for my readers when I got home. So here it is!

Busted Brothers has it all for the spanker or spankee. Three cute guys, butts in the air, cocks in their hands and lots of red asses; what a dream! It starts with a guy deciding that he really needs his ass beat. I know quite a few of you know exactly what he is thinking. He contacts a former spanker and they start where they left off, only to be caught by a third party. It is very well shot and is quite believable. It was very easy to insert myself into the scene. I mean, after all, that is what gets us off isn’t it. It was worth three loads and considering how long I take to cum, that means something. It is well worth the money. It can be found in the catalog at http://www.manshandfilms.com/mhv181.html . Thanks to Man’s Hand Films and Mr. Conelly for the production stills of the video.

Camp Red Tails - 2011 Season

2011-07-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

Spankers and spankees, it is that time of year again. A worldwide contingent of spanking lovers is descending next week on northern California. For those of you that do not know, Camp Red Tails is normally during the second Thursday – Tuesday of July. The specifics about the camp and applications are available at www.manshandfilms.com .

Pictures are not allowed to be taken at Camp, with the exception of in your bedroom with the consent of all involved. This rule allows everyone to do what he wants and not worry about having a “Weiner” moment (Did I just say that?). The pictures in this blog were areas outside of the camp area or taken when no one was around. Please thank tigger for his excellent pictures.

For me, Camp Red Tail has become a family reunion of sorts. Besides the continuous spanking going on everywhere around you, there is the socializing and catching up as only spankos can. The attendance is normally between fifty and sixty men. This is a men only camp experience. We average 3 to 6 new campers every year. This makes every year of camping different and definitely not boring.

I could write all day about the benefits and how much I like camp. The best way for me to express to you how much I enjoy it is to tell you that I am hard as a rock writing this and will be most of camp. It just does that to me……and others. I highly recommend camp to anyone that likes spanking. The people are vetted so you know that you play will be safe, sane, and consensual. The over arching rule of Camp Red Tails is that you only do what you want to do. There is no pressure and no is an acceptable answer to any question.

Well, I fly out on Tuesday to get ready for Camp. I am hard as a rock thinking about it. I am sure that I will be most of Camp, until some mean Dominant beats my ass (yes I am talking about you).

Vince

What do you need?

2011-06-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

I wrote the “Are You a Dominant or submissive” blog to explain how both function in my life. I was not ready for the backlash. For future reference, I am not a heretic, wishy-washy, blathering idiot who is trying to destroy the Leather family and lifestyle. I was just trying to discuss how those two polar differences play out in my life. I spoke about my experience with other people in the same situation.

I am going to try to explain this in a metaphorical sense. As I have said before, these are just my thoughts on the topic and definitely not true of everybody. You can take them or leave them.

There is a bond that is built when a man places a collar around your neck. Obviously, you become his property, but there is more to it than that. I have been collared twice. Both of these men were and are men that I admire. This what drew me to them. Beyond the Dominance and play and sex, I wanted to learn from them. The inspired me. I am obviously uncollared, and that says what it says. But there are certain realities about that bond that was created.

I cannot lie. After the uncollarings, I resented both of these men. I felt used and abused. It has caused me to question if I will ever put myself in that position again. With a little time, I hoped to forget both of them.

I have come to some realizations. Once a man has collared you, you carry him with you forever. You hear his voice, you see his face, you long for his smile of approval, and you remember his punishments and “discussions”. With each accomplishment that you make happen, you want to say, “Sir, look what I have done.” You want to thank him for teaching you that accomplishment is not an accident. With each failure, you want to apologize to him because he did not teach you disappointment. He refused to accept failure.

There are many times that I get tired of carrying these men around in my head. You want to backslide, take the easy way out, or just plain give up. Then you hear their voices, urging you to pick yourself back up, do what you know to do, and to never quit.

These thoughts are what I look for as a submissive. This is where I find joy in whatever I do for a Dominant. In a sense, they make me whole. I can be whole on my own but the journey isn’t near as much fun.

Are you a Dominant or a Submissive?

2011-06-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

I honestly thought that I had answered this question but several people online and in real life have asked it. It is really only complicated from the outside looking in. Spoiler alert! If you are new to BDSM, or a Master, a few things I have to say may shock and surprise. I am speaking about my experience in the BDSM world and it might not be the experience of your Dominant.

In all honesty, I come across as a Dominant to most people. My father was Navy and a military dominant force in my family. My mother was a Steel Magnolia that no one messed with. I learned my natural dominant outlook and presentation from them. At that same time, my brother and I both figured out early on that being subservient to their dominance was the only way to keep peace in the house. So, in a weird way, I also learned about my submissive side from them.

Dominance and submission is not the only thing in my head when a meet people, but I do size others up. I tend to be dominant to most people, not because of arrogance but because it is just my natural outlook. Every once in a while, I will meet a man that pushes my submissive buttons. This is why I label myself as a switch.

Although I am confident of my skills as a dominant, I do make mistakes. My two boys made that blatantly obvious to me. Being dominant is what gets my cock hard. Fucking someone hard and rough sends me over the edge. But, when it is all said and done, there is more to me than that. There is also the need to serve and worship another man. When I was younger, I used to think that I was alone. A wise older Dominant explained it to me this way. “There is the Kinsey Bell Curve Scale that places people on a spectrum between totally homosexual and totally heterosexual. Most people are not at the edges but somewhere in between. The same can be said of Dominance and submission. There are Total Dominants and total submissives, but most are in between.” As I got older I became aware that most Dominants search and find an outlet for their submissive sides. At the same times, BDSM relationships that last seem to have some way for the submissive to deal with their dominant sides.

In the end, we are all who we are. So, if you want to ask me the question at an event or in a bar, step back and look how I am reacting to you. Do you notice me staring at you? Do I call you by your first name? Do I look like I am undressing you with my eyes? Maybe I am in that military parade rest position respectfully listening and calling you Sir. I am blatantly obvious when I want to be one or the other. I am going to take you as you present yourself. Hopefully, you will do the same.

Vince

Spanking Contracts

2011-06-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

I just started a new spanking contract with a spankee I have been chatting with forever. He is a real nice guy with a good head on his shoulders. We have been talking forever about him being trained with my straps. He had found that he could not take much strapping and wants to increase his endurance; and enjoyment. After some discussion, we came up with a spanking contract.

A Spanking Contract is a document drawn up between two individuals to set up a regularly occurring spanking session. It outlines the responsibilities and duties of both the spanker and spankee. It of course defines punishment when those duties and responsibilities are not followed. It also sets up ways to end the contract.

In reality, it is a gentlemen’s agreement. It is not enforceable by law. It is only enforceable by each man’s sense of personal honor; and desire for the spankings. The contract defines when and where the spankings are going to happen and the way they are to happen.

DFWguy1978 took he strapping very well, as you can see. He was right on target with his wincing and heavy breathing while he was getting strapped. He kept this Top hard the entire time the strapping continued. He took what I was giving very well.

Our contract sets out that we will meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a strapping to be no less than 50 licks and no more than 200 licks. The contract gives me control over when Dfwguy1978 is allowed to masturbate. He isn’t aware of it yet but it will soon happen that he will masturbate right before a severe session. It is my spanker duty to give him the whole spectrum of experience I can give him.

A spanking contract is one possible way obligate yourself to a course of action that you fear you might back out of otherwise. It is another of the multitude of ways that kinky people work the kink into their lives. Now, Strip. Get up on the bed and stick your ass in the air.

Vince

Back from the Dead

2011-05-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

Southwestswitch on SpankThis

Back From the Dead

Yes Gentlemen I have returned from the dead. It has been a while but I want to recharge this blog. As y’all know, I love spanking. An acquaintance, Southwestswitch on SpankThis Hookups enjoys it too. He has a butt that could revive a man from the dead. The other side is impressive also.

I have discussing and sharing my own experiences of BDSM. I will continue to in the future. If you don’t mind helping to write about things you are interested in, ask a question in the box to the right. Not only will I answer you but I might write a blog about the topic.

Here are a few questions in the box.

Hello Vince, my name is Dad John, I have been into spanking since I was a teenager and my Dad spanked me~ Lets correspond, please~ Dad John. @hotmail.com

Dad John I would be happy to correspond with you. My address is found at the bottom of the page.

How big are you?

Interesting question to start off with. I am definitely a grower. I am 3" soft and 8" hard.

Southwestswitch on SpankThis

Of all the spankings you have gotten, which one was the "hottest" or got you the hardest? Of all the spankings you have given, which one was the "hottest" or got you the hardest?

Hottest and Hardest are two different categories. The Hottest spanking I have ever gotten was afterthe video shoot in MHF 167 SMPD 4. I really got my ass beat in that video. After shooting, a co-star took me back to his room and beat my ass.

The Hardest would be a toss up between DFWRuff in Dallas or Master David in DC. Both know how to swing and swing hard with a paddle.

The hardest and hottest spanking I have given would have to be Jay in NYC. I was giving him an extreme strapping over his bed and all of the sudden I shot a load. Definitely hot. It is the only time I have done that.

Well that is all the questions in the box but please keep them coming.

Southwestswitch on SpankThis

To Love or Not to Love

2011-03-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

First off I have to admit that the picture above has nothing to do with the blog. I just have a thing for certain gingers. Funny thing is I have only dated two. They were fun though.

I have been chatting with another Dominant/Master about a common disagreement in the BDSM community. While I have an opinion on the topic, I do realize that others can feel how they feel. My opinion rules my life as theirs rules theirs. Let’s move on to the topic.

In my experience, there are exactly two camps in regards to loving a boy/slave/puppy that belongs to you. My opinion is that a boy/slave/puppy needs the love of their Master. All of us love BDSM or we wouldn’t enjoy the lifestyle. In my experience, the submissive needs the loving aftercare. The boy needs to hear the “Good, boy”. The slave needs to lie at his Master’s feet and have the Master love on him. The puppy needs to have his head scratched while he lays his head in his Master’s lap. As a submissive, I need those things at least once in a while to give a man complete control.

There is another school of thought. This school of thought maintains that property is property and should be treated as such. You do not cuddle with your chainsaw, why would you cuddle with a boy. This school of thought believes they show their love by housing, feeding, and collaring the submissive.

You know my feelings on the topic but that should have little to do with your decision. As a Dominant, you need to decide how you feel, to not confuse a submissive. It is one of the things that should be discussed when adding a submissive to your house. As a submissive, you need to know which school works best to submit to a man. You need to be at your best to serve a man.

The hard part with this for the submissive is that you normally need to experience both before you know. I have met a few submissives that knew enough about themselves that they had already answered the question but they are very rare.

Esprit de Corps 2011

2011-03-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

What happens when you say whip me, beat me.

Discipline Corps and Chicago Hellfire got together for their annual weekend in Dallas. A multitude of leather-bound men were socializing, eating, and yes, beating the crap out of each other.

Some people are afraid of the groups I just mentioned. They say that they play too hard. The reality is that the play is at all kinds of levels. It depends on what the Dominant wants and what the submissive wants. Yes, there is play that is more severe than most, no problem. What is important to these two groups is that all the members get out of their membership what they want.

From the pictures, you can tell I had fun. My club brothers are like family. I had some really long talks and some really awesome play. I highly recommend guests contact these groups before the next EdC in March 2012.

I am at an Event so here is something to make you smile.

2011-03-12T04:57:00.000-08:00

Question and answer.

2011-03-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

Question:

My Master and i are different in every way. How can i connect to him other that sex and plat (sic) and physically. I want to know his thoughts and him mine, to understand him. We are both new and i feel that it’s hard for us because it’s long distance.

Answer:

You didn't give me your name so I am just going to refer to you as slave. If this is not correct, I apologize. A long distance relationship of any kind is very difficult. A long distance BDSM relationship is even harder. The Master in the relationship needs a way to extend his mastery over the slave. The slave needs to know that the Master cares for the slave. Slaves also need the touch of the Master. To deal with these issues, the Master/slave have to come up with ways to interact regularly. Things that have been done in my relationships are several.
The slave can be required to write a journal of his life every day and submit it to the Master weekly. It is important that the slave discuss his/her feelings about the relationship and life with the Master. The Master can then deal with issues that start to arise. The journal serves as the Master's eyes. It allows him to be a fly on the wall in the slaves life.
I have also found that when the Master gives the slave projects to do, the slave feels as if he/she is doing something for the Master; in effect, serving. Two common things to implement are a mantra or certain position to take at a certain time of day and chastity. When my boys have been away from me, they were required to get in a certain position each morning when they got up and reflect on their service to me. Another way to do things is to require the slave obtain permission to touch themselves or ejaculate. The spefics are up to the Master. I know that when a slave is in chastity, he constantly is thinking about the Master. When permission is given to "release", the slave is acutely aware of the gift that the Master has given.

I am concerned with your statement about the two of you being completely different. If it really is true, why are you serving him. My best advise on how to get him to share his life and for you to share your life is to speak to your Master. Explain to him how you are feeling. Share yourself with him. If he desires to, He will share himself with you. I cannot say this strongly enough: Share you wants, needs, and desires with your Master. He cannot protect his property if he has no idea of the things that are bothering his slave.

I wish you well in your service to your Master. I am confident that if you are both serious about this relationship, you will find way to make it happen. I am here to share any advise that the two of you need or I can direct you to men better than myself. Peace and all Good.
Vince

formspring.me

2011-02-28T14:30:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/corpsman67

Smiles for the Day

2011-02-23T07:12:00.000-08:00

Thank you soupgoblin for making me smile. Soupgoblin's blog can be found at

http://soupgoblin.blogspot.com/ .

Let’s look at this rationally

2011-02-22T09:22:00.001-08:00

A person took offense and wrote a scathing comment. I want to look at the comment and learn from it. The comment is exactly as it remains in the comment are of the last blog.

Anonymous said...

the scenario you describe is not a healthy attitude adjustment, but a criminal assault! what's unbelievable to me is that no one got on their phone and called the cops, tried to interfere, or video the scene. totally unacceptable ... I've watched a grandmother get arrested in a grocery store (and successfully prosecuted) for spanking her granddaughter in the checkout line!

you are forgetting that d/s and m/s relationships are consentual and specifically sought out by both parties! .. the parent/child relationship MUST receive heightened scrutiny precisely because it cannot be consentual ... the same with employer/employee, disabled/caregiver, on and on. these unequal relationships must be rigorousy monitored for signs of abuse because there is an unequal balance of power. of all people, we in this community should know this!

a father who would do that to his adult son in a public place is no role model nor a leader. danny had nothing to apologize for, it's his dad's narcissistic (read: weak) ego that needs to humiliatingly apologize publically! pain, fear and terror are tools of the weak, not the strong. I would bet a large sum that the father reacted out of fear/embarrassment from being publically challenged by his son, rather than from any desire to edify his character (although i'm sure the dad would insist this was his motive).

Danny knows his father loves him? are you nuts? did your dad tell you "this hurts me more than it hurts you" when he spanked you?! keep telling yourself that, so you don't have to face the truth that he was abusive. real love doesn't hurt. life hurts, mistakes hurt, but love doesn't. I would bet a second large sum of money that danny is a scapegoat for one or both of his highly codependent parents, meaning he's grown up experiencing love as a painful longing, something that must be earned. he's never experienced the real thing nor has he had an appropriate loving relationship demonstrated to him.

unfortunately this young man will likely repeat this scenario with his son.

what's unbelievable to me is that no one got on their phone and called the cops, tried to interfere, or video the scene. totally unacceptable

I have to remind the reader that all BDSM is assault. We consent to it but it is assault (§ 22.01. ASSAULT. (a) A person commits an offense if the person: (1) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causes bodily injury to another, including the person's spouse). The restaurant was full of diners. If any thought that it was not consensual, they could have walked across the street and down a block to the Texas Department of Public Safety Barracks. No one did. Could it be because the persons dining there are rational; or is it that all of us back wood hicks are ignorant. It is obvious which you believe.

I've watched a grandmother get arrested in a grocery store (and successfully prosecuted) for spanking her granddaughter in the checkout line!

The two cases are not the same: Adult/Adult vs. Adult/minor. I was not there but it sounds like the issue was that she did it in the checkout line.

the parent/child relationship MUST receive heightened scrutiny precisely because it cannot be relationships must be rigorousy monitored for signs of abuse because there is an unequal balance of power. of all people, we in this community should know this!

I could not agree more. The problem is that nothing in this tirade is relevant to the Adult father and Adult son.

danny had nothing to apologize for, it's his dad's narcissistic (read: weak) ego that needs to humiliatingly apologize publically!

I find this amazing. I was there and don’t know whether it was the father or Danny’s idea. Evidently you do.

Danny knows his father loves him? are you nuts? did your dad tell you "this hurts me more than it hurts you" when he spanked you?! keep telling yourself that, so you don't have to face the truth that he was abusive. real love doesn't hurt. life hurts, mistakes hurt, but love doesn't.

Now, I am brought into the conversation. I am not sure why you need to attack to make a comment. Now you of become the Lawgiver on what real love is. Again I agree with you, for a percentage of the population. My blog discusses those of us that find real love in pain; and other things.

I would bet a second large sum of money that danny is a scapegoat for one or both of his highly codependent parents, meaning he's grown up experiencing love as a painful longing, something that must be earned. he's never experienced the real thing nor has he had an appropriate loving relationship demonstrated to him.

unfortunately this young man will likely repeat this scenario with his son.

Now you have brought in the mother, who you know nothing about. The tirade and decision on the entirety of Danny’s life is ludicrous, unsubstantiated, and telling. I have a suspicion that it isn’t about Danny. There are support for those issues. I hope they are found and put to good use.

Strange but true

2011-02-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.manshandfilms.com/ Paying For It

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a walker. In the last month, I have started walking to the diner two miles up the road and read the paper and a good book for an extended period of time. I live on a lake at the end of a gravel road. Sitting there today, I experienced an event that was unbelievable.

I sat down in my corner booth with my John Grisham book. My waitress brought my farmer’s breakfast and I dug in. In a little while, my neighbors sit down in the booth in front of me. We exchanged pleasantries and they began to order. I need to explain how we are neighbors. As I said before, I live on a lake. On one side of the lake is a state highway. On the other side of the state highway is 190 acres owned by my “neighbor”. I know enough about farming to carry on a conversation with him and he knows enough about gay men to carry on a conversation with me. I don’t ask and he don’t tell.

Today he was joined by his wife and his nineteen year old son, Danny. Danny was still at home so that he could raise enough money to marry his sweetheart, whose name escapes me. Let’s get back to the story.

As I continued to read, my neighbor started talking about his plans for work after church. After a long litany of chores, Danny stopped his dad with, “Dammit Dad, I don’t want to work all god damn day.” My neighbor just stared at his son. Everyone had stopped talking when Danny started his outburst. I watched intently over my book. My neighbor whispered something to Danny. Danny replied, “I am sorry Sir. It will never happen again.” My neighbor whispered something else and Danny began begging. “Oh god no. Please. I am sorry.” My neighbor stood up and glared at his son. Danny eventually slid out of the booth and began walking. I suddenly realized what was happening. I then decided I was wishing it would happen. This only happens in the movies I thought. I watched my neighbor and Danny walk to the opposite side of the diner and see them turn right headed for the Men’s restroom. I decided that he my neighbor wanted to talk to Danny away from his mother.

It became obvious that I had no clue what I was talking about. The first sound from the bathroom caused everyone in the diner to stop what they were doing. My trained ear thought it knew the sound. The second whack told me all I needed to know. Danny was get his ass blistered bare assed by his father’s belt. I actually considered “accidentally” walking in on the action but sexual arousal hinted that it would be a bad idea. The spanking seemed to last forever. Toward the end, Danny began to yell and scream. He begged his father to stop. Eventually it did. My neighbor exited the men’s restroom. He walked to his table and sat down. About five minutes later, Danny left the men’s restroom and walked to the cashier’s stand. I looked directly at Danny’s face. Danny loudly announced, “May I have your attention please. I have disturbed your meals. I apologize for my upsetting your meals.” Danny’s face was crimson red and his eyes were puffy. He came to his parent’s table and his father stood up. As he slid into the booth, he glanced up at me and mouthed the word “Sorry”.

I have to admit that I was shocked and in ecstasy at the same time. I had been in restaurants when parents had threatened their children. I have even taken off my belt and sat it on a table to make the point to a submissive. The only time I had seen this happen before was at twelve at a Luby’s Cafeteria when it happened to me. I know that there will be many moans and groans emitted thinking about the incident.

As I walked home, I thought about the incident and about the M/s relationship in general. As shocking as the spanking was, it did what it was meant to do; it returned the power dynamic back to normal. I think that in M/s relationships issues come up. There are times when a submissive snaps, or just fails to live up to the expected norm. As a Dominant, I want to overlook the issues and assure the submissive that I know it was a mistake. I have come to the realization that 99% of the time, my reaction would be wrong. As a submissive I have twice gone way beyond what was acceptable with a Dominant. Their reaction was the same as mine. I wish they hadn’t. Let me explain why.

As humiliated and embarrassed as Danny was, he was aware that he still had the love of his dad. If his dad didn’t care, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Danny knew what he had done. He knew he was sorry. He knew that his dad had punished him to help him learn the lesson. After it was all done and Danny had apologized to the customers in the diner, things went back to normal. I think that submissives hope for this when they have “messed up”.

The majority of submissives are very aware of the mood of their Dominant. When they have done something to upset the Dominant, they want the Dominant’s mood to change. The boy seeks a way to show the Master, that what he did was wrong and he is sorry. I have been in this situation. A former Master allowed me go and do something that we normally did together. He gave me specific instructions on how far I could go. I got to the event and eventually went way beyond Master’s limits. I bawled all the way home. When I got to the living room, Master was not home. At some point, I decided to show him how sorry I was and what I deserved. I moved the spanking bench into the living room and eventually got myself in four-point restraint, naked and waiting. When He got home he talked to me and forgave me. In a sense I was relieved because his canings had been brutal and that was just play. Over the next few months, I realized that it would have been better for me mentally and emotionally if He had worn me out. The issue would have been done and over with. It would not be brought up again.

Please do not think I am trying to tell Dominants what to do. Their relationships are their own. I just know that on both sides of the coin, things would have been better in my relationships if I had. I am sure that Danny will never backtalk his dad the way he did today. I am confident that the spanking he got today has made him a better man. It has definitely made me a happier man.

Who's in Charge?

2011-02-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

As you can see to the right, I am a daily reader of the blog A Master and His slave (http://themasterandhisslave.blogspot.com/2011/02/question-and-answer-slave-edition.html). I find the insights of Master Chris and His slave to be right on point. As I was reading the above entry, I saw a question that has been commonly asked of me by readers. You can read the slave’s answer on the blog at the above address. I agree with the slave’s answer and would like to put it my own way. That is why this blog is entitled, who is in charge.

The question that the slave was answering is:

Hey slave bro, what could i do if i want more of my Master's attention? fyi, He has three other slaves...:( i just love HIM so insanely that i just wanna be with HIM forever!

My first question is, who is in charge? If you are giving the Master control over all of you, then Master does what Master does. Don’t get me wrong, as a slave there are times when wants arise in your life. As a slave, it is your duty to present that want to the Master. It makes the Master aware of the dynamic and that the slave has a something taking up time other than serving the Master.

By seeing the :(, I think there may be some type of drama. Polyamorus relationships are very difficult. The Dominant or Master in the relationship must maintain control in His household. Many times the submissives start to compete for the Master’s love or play or time. As Senior Drill Instructor Garcia told us in Marine Corps recruit training, “We’re gonna nip it in the bud!” The Master has to assert his dominance over everyone involved.

I would recommend that you have some introspective time and seek out your motives. This can be attempted by considering questions like “Am I competing”, “Is it the will and pleasure of the Master that I seek”, or “How important is this want?” The answers that you find will guide how you proceed.

Honestly, I have been both the Dominant and the submissive in this situation. Both times it did not end well. I accept my failure in both cases. The thing to remember is that a single relationship is difficult; multiple relationships are geometrically more difficult. With all I have said, I think that a submissive will not go wrong if he always asks himself: “Who is in charge?”

Waiting

2011-02-09T10:56:00.000-08:00

I know I have not blogged in quite a while and I apologize for it. After the failed relationship with Boy Joey and the move back to Texas, I am trying to figure out where to go from here. Everybody seems to have their two cents to give about my failed relationships. I take them with a dose of salt. The end result is that I find i am doing a lot of one thing... waiting.

Waiting is not a bad thing. I find that it increases the desire for the things being waited on. In the BDSM world, it is part of the play. Much like the boy above, we want it to start immediately, but not immediately. I find that it heightens the play and the headspace of all involved.

I am not against instant gratification in any way. I just see that in those ways have gone that route, I end up on the losing end. I can definately see it in my collaring and in my collaring of Joey. I guess the old adage from college is right; If it were easy anybody would do it.

So, I find myself just waiting. I am resigned to it and I am begining to relish it. It causes my dominance and submission to smoulder like fire almost out. My hope is that it creates a fire to burn away the regrets and should haves. I am sure the waiting is preparing me for something. I just do not know what or who.

So, I ask you to decide to wait. Send the boy to the bedroom for play and sit down and watch the fire build. Wait to ask that question of your Master. In the end, the result will pay off.

Another Great Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend Ended

2011-01-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

It is another great party in a long line of great events. As always, it is not enough sleep and an overabundance of raw, unbridled sexual power. If you did not have fun, the fault was all your own. Fun was everywhere. Al you had to do was jump in.

Saturday was a jam-packed day for me. The 2nd Annual MAL SpankDC party was from 2pm to 6pm. The Green Lantern upstairs room was full of writhing boys and whistling straps. Men were bent over anything that was to take what they had coming. A few times the bartenders got an eyeful when a boy was bent over the bar to take swats from a frat paddle or a bath brush. The party was great mix of Spankers, Spankees, and Switches so that if you wanted to play you had the choice of many different men to make it happen. As the swats echoed through the building, the party host Dave kept tension building with a great mix of appropriate and driving music. I have to admit that by the time the party ended I was exhausted from the play.

After the SpankDC party, I headed to the MAL CODE Party. The party was held at the Crucible and Secrets in the industrial area of Washington, D.C. The Crucible was a great choice for this hard driving party. With the large open area full of BDSM equipment and hot geared up men, cocks were hard and minds were reeling. DJ Frank Wild kept the party on edge with his eclectic mix of heart pumping music meant to enflame the senses. Several different BDSM demos where occurring all over the event. I watched an impressive Fire Play demo and was drawn to a particularly intense bull whip demo. As the time grew closer to closing time, the pent up sexual desire overflowed everywhere. In my mind, it is what I think a Roman Orgy should have been. A multitude of hot, sweaty men doing what turns them on with whomever they wish. Please do not miss this event. You will regret it.

It was an overwhelming weekend and it will take me weeks to recover, but isn’t that why we do what we do. I think so.

More Pain in My Life

2011-01-07T13:50:00.001-08:00

I am sorry to inform y’all that my fellow blogger, former boy, and love of my life Joey and I have broken up. It has been a bad six months for me. Please keep Joey and I in your thoughts and prayers.

Ask me anything!

2010-12-28T17:11:00.001-08:00

http://www.formspring.me/corpsman67

Help with the Blizzard

2010-12-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

More Eye Candy

2010-12-17T14:41:00.000-08:00

More of My Favorite Things

2010-12-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

Does Anyone see a pattern yet?

Interlude

2010-12-14T14:05:00.000-08:00

My schedule is bogged down with holiday events and family gatherings. I will stop blogging until the new year but will post some of my favorite spanking pictures and comics in the meanwhile. Enjoy.

Enjoy the eye candy.

Abrasion play

2010-12-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Abrasion play is the use of abrasive substances on the skin to cause a reaction. Sand paper and Emory boards are used a lot in this type of play. Although it is normally a small amount of pain, the pain increases exponentially.

Many times abrasion play is used in conjunction with other more intense forms of BDSM. I enjoy using abrasion play after a long flogging scene. As the back becomes more sensitive, a dominant will sometimes run their fingernails down a submissive’s back. This is a form of abrasion play.

I do not do the abrasion play on someone’s back. I use the different grades of sandpaper and Emory boards to change up the sensation. At first, the abrasion is minimal and there is no discomfort. The Dominant does not push down hard. He just lightly covers an area he wants to torture. The submissive will wonder if the Dominant has lost his mind. Slowly the submissive will began to feel discomfort that will quickly turns into outright pain. I am very methodical when I do abrasion play. I want the man I am doing it to dread the run with my sandpaper, Emory board, or even the knuckles of a fist.

An extreme form of abrasion play is referred as “making a pain button”. It is done on the sternum of the chest with the knuckles of the hand. In medical circles, a minimal version of this is used to test an unconscious person for reaction to pain or to awaken them. The skin layers are removed until the area begins to seep. The problem with a good pain button is that it will commonalty ruin a few shirts.

There are a few warnings while performing abrasion play. Abrasion of very sensitive areas such as genitalia is very dangerous. It also defeats the ability for it to not hurt and start to hurt. On diabetic submissives, stay away from abrasion of hands or feet because these are areas of problems with wound health. So rub one out and enjoy it.

What the hell is a Coca-Cola submissive?

2010-11-16T02:33:00.000-08:00

Fair warning to all readers: I am about to get up on my soap box. A submissive reader of the blog sent me this question. I had no idea what a Coca-Cola submissive was and so I reached out to the community to find out. When I received some responses back I hit the fucking roof. The best definition I could come up with is: A submissive who only obeys the easy stuff or only when he/she feels like it.

Why does this piss me off? First off it belittles any submission that the submissive gives. It attributes an attitude to the submissive that is callous and not appropriate for a Dominant/ submissive relationship. It makes any failings in the relationship about the submissive. Let’s put this whole idea in a different light.

As I have shared about my own life, relationships fail. I have been closed mouthed about my failed relationships because, as a Master once told me, “family business stays at home”. With that being said, I am sure that people close to me or to the men in my failed relationships will have opinions about the two people involved in the relationships. That is human nature. But when those opinions turn into comments like the Coca-Cola submissive one, I think things have gone too far.

The comment wasn’t made about me. The reader with the question is new to my blog. He is also new to the leather/BDSM world. I would be infuriated if two “dominants” said this about my reader within his hearing. The truth of the matter is that it was two “boys” having this discussion right next to the reader. The “boys” were relegating the reader to the flotsam that lies outside our community. They have decided he is not worthy of the community. They have decided his “boyness” is not at the appropriate level.

As I am standing on my soapbox, all I can say is HORSESHIT! All too often in the community, certain elements try to belittle those who come to the community to learn to supposedly better themselves. Talk about someone’s play and decide if you want to play with them. Discuss someone’s personal honor, integrity, and knowledge and decide if you want to be friendly with them. Do not impugn someone’s desire and drive. We all grow. Allow growth to happen. It is my opinion, and yes it is just my opinion, that a slave’s “spirit”, a boy’s “boyness”, a Master’s “authority” are always and only a positive. It should be used to show admiration or that you are pleased with that person’s essence, what makes them tick. Too often our community has wielded the bat of “you aren’t boy enough” to crush those who have come to us for guidance. If a person’s “spirit” is so distasteful, lead by example and show a generous “spirit”.

Okay, I am off the soapbox. Let’s all have a Coke and a smile. I promise the next blog will be about something fun.

What to look for in a boy and why I chose Boy Joey

2010-11-12T00:46:00.000-08:00

A reader of my last blog questioned me on what I specifically look for in a boy and how my Boy Joey fit the bill. I was overjoyed to write this blog because I deeply enjoy both topics; boys and my boy Joey.

I think I share some of my wants for a boy with every other Dominant seeking a boy. Integrity is a high priority. If a boy’s word means nothing, how can anyone including me believe him? Honesty is another big requirement. When I wrote my blog on Punishment, I caused a firestorm of controversy. Many thought that I am a man who holds others to an unbelievable level of honesty. Many thought I was way too hard on the boy in that blog. My intent is always that a person be honest with me. Everyone tells white lies to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to prevent embarrassment. What I desire in the way of honesty is that a person be truthful with me. If at some point they are not truthful with me, I hope at some point, they realize their mistake and come clean with me. It is my practice and I expect it from others.

Another important characteristic I seek in a boy is the pursuit of knowledge. Hopefully, the boy seeks a better knowledge of himself as a boy or slave and of the BDSM world and the world in general. I do not tolerate a know-it-all very well. I know in my life experience that there is always more for me to learn. I also look for a boy or slave that has a humorous or gregarious outlook on life. There are times in life that are very somber and serious and then there is the rest of life. I seek a boy that can be playful and respectful at the same time. It is important to have fun.

The second part of this blog is all about boy Joey. I am not going to subject you readers to a long list of “I love my boy because”. I am going to show the way in which he fits the categories I set out for a boy so that another prospective Master can create his own list or a prospective boy can define himself to make it easier to find a Dominant.

Boy Joey has shown me nothing but integrity in all of my dealings with him. Boy Joey came to me as a friend of my boy Jake. He was trying to understand the relationship that I had with boy Jake. I have to say that he was a skeptic at first but he questioned and commented and slowly came to understand. Not long after his first visit, he approached me about becoming my second boy. I was honest in telling him that boy Jake was my Alpha boy and that Joey would have to be willing to integrate into my family with my Master and my Boy. Boy Joey was open and held his integrity by being honest about some of his misgivings and by stating he never wanted to interfere in the relationships that I already had.

I asked boy Joey to write an in depth biography of himself to help me understand him better. He was brutally honest about his life in general and about some very painful things in his life. It warmed my heart to know that he trusted me enough to share those very private and hurtful things. He has done his best to always be honest with me. I think my blog might have scared him a little. This isn’t a bad thing.

Boy Joey came to me seeking knowledge about BDSM and Master/slave relationships. He took my responses and my blogs and accepted them at face value. He continues seeking knowledge about those BDSM activities that interest me and others that have piqued his interest. He is also finishing a second career Master’s degree. His seek for knowledge is boundless.

I hope this blog helps you the reader to find some meaning in what I look for and have found in the way of a submissive. I hope it helps you to grow as it has help boy Joey and me to grow.

How Do I Cruise a Leather Bar?

2010-11-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

There are as many types of leather bars as there are leather men. There just isn’t a simple answer to this question. A reader asked me how I picked up men at a leather bar. The honest truth is that I haven’t picked up a man in a leather bar in about five years. But I definitely have had those good hot, sweaty… Where was I? Oh yeah, cruising a leather bar. Here are some of my thoughts on the subject.

First, I think you need to decide what specifically you are wanting. Do you want edgy, pain filled man-sex? Do you want to cuddle after great vanilla sex? Do you want a man to beat until you cry? Do you want to beat someone until the scream? Each different desire leads to a different approach. Let’s use me on two different cruises as examples.

As a very picky switch, there are times when I am walking to Serpent in Cincinnati or the Eagle in Dallas looking for a man to put me through my paces. I know the body type that interests me but I rarely exclude people because of body type. I look for a man that is dominant but not stand-offish. If you will not talk then how the hell can I figure out if you have what it takes? If a Dominant has his submissive present, I watch their protocol and interaction. I look to see that I would be comfortable living within the protocol for the duration of the scene. I am drawn to men that are gregarious and talkative. Once I have toured the room then I start conversations with those that interest me. I am fairly direct so once we have had a good conversation, I ask for what I want. If they say no, then I move on. If they say later, I come back to them later on. If they say yes, we get down and dirty. It is that simple.

When I am on the prowl as a Dominant, the task is a little tricky. First off, I look for boys doing exactly what I do when looking for a dominant. I also look for signs of ownership. As a rule, I do not play with an owned submissive unless I have permission from their dominant. If you are a collared boy in a bar and can’t figure out why none of the dominants will approach you, it is because of the collar. Visiting the bar with friends, Dominant or submissive, will better your chances. I look for a boy that can carry on an intelligent conversation. The boy also has to be interested in the things that I am interested in, or at least be willing to try. If I am not going to play I am upfront about it so the submissive knows it and I do not waste his time.

I remember the first time I walked into a leather bar. I was scared to death. I thought I stood out like a sore thumb, and I did. You will too. But once you get past the awkwardness of being in new surroundings, you will normally find everyone to be very accommodating. When you seek out that Dominant or submissive, remember they were in your shoes once. You never know, maybe the Dominant that you talk to may be me.

Back Strapping

2010-11-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

All of you know that I am just a bit kinky, I hope. Today, I would like to blog about something I have subbed to only two men, and only dominated two men in this way. I am talking about strapping a man’s back. I am talking about a full, hard swing with a belt or leather razor strap. I am not talking about a spanker who can’t swing and accidentally hits you in back. Let me tell you about my back strapping.

And it begins:. He has me strip and fold my clothes and place them in a pile on the floor. He then lays a certain leather razor strap down on the floor right in front of my down turned eyes. Jay ties rope through the hole in the beam that holds up the ceiling. It is a twenty-four foot ceiling. He brings the rope down to just below my nipples. He then has me place one of loops under my armpits and hold the other loop in my hands to keep my arms outstretched. He then crouches down and picks up the strap and stares me down. He steps behind me and I wait for that first lick. By this time, the tears have filled my eyes. I hear the rush of air just milliseconds before the strap lands right between my shoulder blades. I scream out in pain and writhe around trying to to process the pain. Jay continues to lay the stripes on my back in groups of seven. I cannot count beyond two licks. When he finishes I am wailing and totally encompassed by the pain and the emotion of the event.

As you can understand it is very cathartic and very intense. The same rules apply as do with single tail whips. No shots around the kidneys. Be very careful of the head, face, and ears. Never play this way with someone you have not seen play.

The above picture is a belting Pup Dave’s back by myself. He has gifted me with many sets of tears from just such back belting. He was laid across the bed for his back belting. Great care must be taken to make sure that the belt does not hit the kidneys. It is a scene ender that is enjoyable and very cathartic for the Dominant and the submissive. The intensity is such that I have really dealt with such pain but develop a deep bond between the Dominant and submissive.

What is an Alpha Submissive?

2010-11-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

I know my blogging has been slow and I apologize. With work on my book, I have failed to maintain my duty to you. Anybody want to teach me a lesson about blogging?

I had a person, who is new to the BDSM scene; he asked me what an “Alpha Submissive” was. I jokingly said, “A boy with benefits.” I say this every time I talk about BDSM. It means what the two people involved say it means. In my BDSM relationship with Wil, I was his alpha sub. For the sake of this blog, I will try to explain how it worked in that relationship.

At the time that I was collared by Wil, he had no boys in his household. I had collard boy Jake earlier in the year. Wil made the decision that I would be his alpha Boy and that he would not interfere with my domination of boy Jake and eventually boy Joey.

What did it mean for me to be Wil’s alpha submissive? It meant I ran his household. I was responsible for making sure the chores were done and the house was prepared for whatever Wil wanted to do. Being that I was the only submissive in the house, it meant that I got it done. It did have a few benefits also. Wil has quite a few dominants come to him for punishment or to get their submissive side taken care of. Because I was a former Dominant myself and Wil’s Alpha submissive, I was allowed to dominate other men within guidelines set by Wil. It allowed me to be subordinate to a man and dominate men at the same time. This is how it worked in my relationship. In most relationships it means the first among equals when it comes to submissives.

Vince

SpankDC Baby!!!!

2010-10-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

I will go on record saying that SpankDC is AMAZING. I had not attended until this past week, and it is at the new location (The Green Lantern). It was the perfect space for spank play and a great atmosphere.

Master David Merril was DJ’ing, and there were stations set up all over the room equipped with plenty of spank toys for bad boys. Once people began to filter in, people started talking to each other and the spanking began.

I was amazed at the diversity of people that showed up. It was a well-balanced party, too which was awesome- plenty of tops, switch-hitters, and of course… plenty of eager boys. The spanking play went on for hours- there were less-populated areas of the room for more private sessions, and any type of spank play you could think of was going on. During my (brief) recovery time, the space was perfect to get to know other spankos. It is easy to feel out of place or be skittish about playing in public....but that was not the case at SpankDC. The guys running the party were awesome, and the entire crowd was very accepting and friendly. No one was ever made to feel any pressure to do anything they didn’t want to do. The staff members at the bar were some of the nicest guys you could hope to meet- and they even joined in on the fun throughout the evening.

I was very sad to see the party come to an end- but I will definitely be going back. My Sir and I both had a wonderful time- and I had one sore butt on the car ride home the next day. I would definitely recommend that anyone into spanking try to make it to this party…. it will leave you wanting more!

(A special thanks to boyDaveDC for hosting the party)

Joey

SpankDC October Party

2010-10-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

Boy Joey and I made a road trip to Washington, D.C. to attend the SpankDC spanking party and to visit with our friends Master David, Pup Dave, and Boy Rory. The drive from Cincinnati to Washington D.C. should take approximately eight hours. Boy joey and I made it in twelve. Don't ask why. It will lead to no good.

SpankDC moved in October to a new location and a new time. It is now upstairs at the the Green Lantern Bar on the third Saturday of every month from 4pm to 8pm. The upsairs bar is great for this event. We had a few people come up from the bar downstairs to see what was happening. I even saw a cute bartender bend over for a little time with a wooden paddle.

Boy Joey and I had a a great time. I believe boy Joey asked every Top at the party to play at least once. I took my turns with boy joey and Pup Dave last. It made for great sessions and quite a few tears. I would highly recommend the SpankDC party.

Please ckeck out the link on our sponsors page to SpankDC. you will not regret it.

Vince

Failure to Communicate

2010-09-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, the collar around my neck was removed. I am no longer a collared boy. The specifics of what happen are not important but the end result is. It is a failure of a BDSM relationship.

I cannot lie. As the submissive in the relationship, I am devastated. I have to pick up the pieces and recreate my life without the Dominant. My emotions are running extremely high. I am extremely lucky. I have some great friends and family that have helped me deal with this failure.

This brings me to stand up on my soapbox. Any submissive that is contemplating a live-in relationship with a Dominant needs to negotiate a Boy Protection Account. This account should be contributed to by the Dominant and/or submissive every month. The account would have funds to take care of the submissive in the event of an un-collaring or a death of the Dominant. The truth of my situation is that I left with three suitcases and no money. Friends loaned me money to keep me off the streets. I deeply appreciate it but there has to be a better way.

A major concern in my failed relationship was communication. When we did talk we were not saying things so the other person could understand what we meant. I unfortunately fell into the trap of thinking that the Dominant should know what my needs were in the relationship. By the time I did express these needs the dominant was not listening. I accept that as my failure.

I will have a tremendous void left in my life from the loss of this relationship. I know that I loved this man with my whole heart and soul. I will heal, but will never forget.

More Casual Sex with David Ortmann

2010-09-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

I will be doing my second interview with David Ortmann tonight at 6:00 pm PST. The show can be heard at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/david-ortmann/2010/09/18/casual-sex-with-david-ortmann . The first episode can be found at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/david-ortmann/2010/08/21/casual-sex-with-david-ortmann .

What is Rough Sex?

2010-09-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

This was the question posed to me by a 20-something twink at a local bar in Palm Springs. I just stared at him in disbelief. I was trying to figure out why he had asked me the question. Was he flirting? Was he making fun of me? After I asked him some probing questions, I got the full story. His older, kinkier lover had mentioned that he wanted to introduce rough sex into their sex life. The twink was worried because he had no idea what it meant. He had seen me with my Master and had seen my collar. He assumed that I knew the answer. The truth is, I know what it means when I say it. Before I wrote this blog, I asked several kinky friends what those words meant to them. Their answers were very enlightening.

I have to admit that I do not remember what vanilla sex was like. It isn’t that I do not how to have vanilla sex, I just do not like it. Unlike most boys, I am sexually a Top. I am my Master’s property and if He wants my ass, He knows it is his. But, anybody thinking about sex with me, you need to know that your ass is mine. I tell partners that I am very aggressive during sex. I guess that you could call it rough sex. In my life, rough sex involves deep penetration, pain caused by biting or slapping, and normally a very, very long session.

A submissive friend from Washington D.C. replied to my question: “Hitting, slapping, punching, domination and submission, rug burns, grass stains, and water sports.” To vanilla people on the outside, rough sex looks brutal and barbaric. I guess it really is but the key to it all is that it is consensual. The things that are happening during rough sex are just that, part of the foreplay and the sex.

A friend in Desert Hot Springs answered: “a fun time; pain, bondage, and torture.” Rough sex always has an element of pain. The key to remember is that it is also fun for those who are involved.

A friend in San Francisco reiterates what has been said before: “ I’d say anything that incorporates pressure, impact, or restraint.” It does seem to be a part of rough sex to be very deep with the penetration.

Reading back over this blog, it looks like rough sex is something that is done to someone. The truth is that it has to have both persons involved. As rough and mean as the doer is, the receiver has to be as vocal and reactive. The rough sex has to push both men’s buttons.

Rough sex is just a flavor in the sexual rainbow that exists in the world, For some, it is just a vacation that they occasionally take. For other it is a comfortable old home. Rough sex is a vague concept. If you want to have rough sex or you are asked to participate in rough sex, ask your partner or partners for exactly what they are wanting. Ok reader, now that I have you in handcuffs, get on your knees and bite the carpet in your mouth.

Long-distance BDSM Relationships

2010-09-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

Boy Joey asked me to consider writing this blog. I get very few of these questions but boy Joey is inundated with them. I will address them in the hope that it will educate.

The first thing I have to say is that long distance relationships are very hard. Long-distance BDSM relationships are even more difficult. I have been on both sides of this problem. When Master collared me, I lived in Dallas, Texas. I was enrolled in a M.B.A. program. I left the program and moved to California three months later. I wanted to make sure that boy Joey didn’t stop his education also.

As a boy, there is always a desire to sit at the Master’s feet and be loved on. A boy also loves to be involved in the BDSM activities we all enjoy. Just hearing the Master’s voice is a bonus for the boy.

As a Master, it is part of my duties to ease the difficulty of the separation. It is very important that we communicate regularly. Boy Joey calls or texts me everyday. He is also required to submit a journal to me once a week. The journal is not the “Joni loves Chico” type. The journal is about the highlights of his day and the emotional state he is in. Because he is not at my feet, I have no idea of the body language. Each entry is required to be at least a page long. I use it as a wind into boy Joey’s mind.

Although we have both visited each other since I collared him in March, a boy needs more play than that. Boy Joey and I are both on the search for play partners in his local area. He is required to get permission for any play, but I have not ever denied him. The reason for this permission is to filter who he plays with. He is relatively young and new to the BDSM scene. The community if very close knit. The only reason I would deny boy Joey would be if I was aware of bad play with the person.

Boy Joey forwarded me some of the questions that he has been receiving. I am going to answer some of them from my perspective.

“How does he truly know you are doing what he asks you to do?”

My knee-jerk reaction is because I trust him. For a BDSM relationship to work both men have to have personal integrity. If I did not, he would be an occasional plaything.

"Are you allowed to date since he is not here?"

If the question is he allowed to start another relationship that has emotional and physical components, the answer is no. Boy Joey is allowed to keep all of his friendships. He is also allowed to play in the BDSM sense and sexually. For me to ask anything different would be cruel.

"Do you guys ever plan to live in the same city?"

Yes. I would not have collared him if it was not so. He will move into my Master’s home when he finishes his academic arrangements.

The best way to make a long-distance BDSM relationship work is to work hard at it. It is important enough to the two of us to make it a priority.

What Master Does For me

2010-08-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

Master at work on Ctmasterslave

My interview with David Ortmann proved to me that people are interested in my relationships. I am not sure why people are interested, but I will share my personal insights. Hopefully other people will get what they are seeking out of the discussion.

My reality is that I have a fairly dominant personality. For most of my kinky life, I have been the one who inflicts the pain and discomfort. Two events changed my play and my outlook. The first event was my first year at Camp Red Tails.

I had switched roles a few times before I attended Camp Red Tails, but they had not been that enjoyable. It had nothing to do with the spanker. It was just a problem with my headspace. At my first Camp, I spanked five men. Seventeen men spanked me. In the words of a man that I had been spanking for fifteen years, “You dropped your pants and you never pulled them up.” This Camp made me aware of a desire to serve a certain kind of man. I had never felt that way before.

The second event that affected me profoundly was during IML (International Mr. Leather) 2009. In a weird series of events, I ended up acting as a valet to two dominant men. At the end of the weekend, I found myself carrying the two men’s luggage. All of the sudden, I began to cry like a little baby. I had come to the realization that I wanted to serve a certain kind of man in a 24/7 relationship. This all happen in late May 2009. In late July 2009, Master collared me. It was a very fulfilling moment for me.

Master is the focus of the majority of my submission. There are four other men that I submit to, but Master is the one that I am completely obedient to. He is the fruition of my search for a man to serve. The reality is that I am a very picky submissive. I look for a man of integrity, insight, and natural leadership abilities. Master is my mentor, my inspiration, and my focus. These characteristics allow me to easily mould myself in the Master’s image.

Are things always roses and chocolates; definitely not. There are times that my dominant side gets me into trouble. Master allows me to continue to be a Master to my boy. He does not interfere in anything that involves my dominance over Boy Joey. At the same time, Mater makes sure that I remember that I am his boy. Wearing his chastity device and keeping my body shaved are just two of the ways He keeps me focused.

Master and Boy Joey both fulfill with in me a need to be who I am. They allow me to express myself as I must and allow me to love and be loved. That is ll that I could ever ask. I wish what I have for anyone that seeks it.

Master/slave Relationship Interview

2010-08-21T05:06:00.000-07:00

I gave an interview to David Ortmann on his radio talk show named Casual Sex with David Ortmann. The interview can be heard at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/david-ortmann/2010/08/21/casual-sex-with-david-ortmann . The interview was a discussion about Master/slave relationships and specifically my own.The interview is an hour long and David has asked me to come back. I really enjoyed the interview.

sb vince

What my boy does for me

2010-08-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

I occasionally am asked why I finally took a boy into service. My initial reaction normally is…because I wanted to. Honestly, there is more to it than that.

The reality of my life is that I have been involved in kink and spanking for a long time. I was spanking other guys and they were spanking me in my teen years. I have been going to parties and clubs that involve heavy BDSM and spanking since I was twenty-five. I realized early on that I resonated well with the bonding and respect given to each other in our world of kink.

I have had several live-in relationships that were based on a Dominant/submissive lifestyle. Two of these relationships were full-fledged Master/slave relationships while in the privacy of my home but vanilla to our friends. Both of these relationships ended because the two of us could not reconcile the internal and external requirements of our relationships.

I decided that Dominant/submissive relationships were great fantasy but did not work in real life. I knew men that had been in D/s relationships for many years but most had told me that after about a year, things changed in the relationship. I decided that I did not want that.

By June of last year, I had changed my mind. I was not actively searching for a submissive, but I knew that I had a desire for that relationship. Out of the blue, a boy appeared and petitioned me. As you all know, this would be boy Jake. Eight months later, it happened again; a perfect candidate presented himself. Welcome to the family, boy Joey.

Because of external factors, boy Jake is no longer with me. Boy Joey has stepped into Jake’s shoes as my alpha boy and has done a great job. The question asked in this blog still remains: What does boy Joey do for me?

The easy answer is that he takes the pain I give and submits to my sexual desires. But honestly, there is more to it than that. He allows me to mentor him. He actually refreshes my jaded attitude when I see his eyes wide in wonder and amazement of a new toy or type of play. He is a companion that allows me to be exactly who I am without censoring. In the end, he gives me the love I need.

The reality of our relationship is that we both get things we need from the relationship. If we did not, it would no longer be a relationship. In the end, there are a multitude of reasons why boy Joey is my boy. One that presents itself regularly is…he keeps my cock hard.

Anticipation

2010-08-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed how impatient we have all become? I was standing at an elevator yesterday. When I arrived, I pushed the button. When the second person arrived, she pushed the button. When the third person arrived, he punched the button three or four times. The elevator took two minutes to arrive from the time I pushed the button. Why were we so impatient?

I think that we have forgotten the exhilaration of anticipation. I remember my parents telling my brother and I about a trip to THE Six Flags Park a week ahead of time. For that entire week my brother and I would plan out the trip and count down the days. At Camp Red Tails, Copper informed me early on Saturday that at 5:00 pm I was going to have a session with him (more about that in another blog). It was a very long day.

As a Dominant and a submissive, I believe that a BDSM experience is enhanced with anticipation. There is nothing like the day of a session. The rock just sits in the pit of your stomach. As a child, my father would send me to my room to get ready for a spanking. “Getting ready,” meant dropping my jeans and underwear and bending over the side of the bed. He would make me wait in that position any where from ten to forty-five minutes. By the time he entered the room, I was on the verge of tears. I have found that giving a submissive a bit of time in the position for spanking focuses the submissive and does wonders for his headspace.

There are millions of ways to use anticipation in our play. Experiment and enjoy it. It is great marketing that as I wrote this blog, all I could hear in my brain was the Heinz Ketchup’s commercial, “Anticipation…Its making me wait!”

Military Role Play

2010-08-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

Readers, I want to apologize for my extended absence. My personal life has been severely rocked by multiple things. I have had several bad experiences in the spanking world. My reaction was to pull back into my private life. Many of you asked me to reconsider closing this blog. After reading what so many of you had to say, I have decided to start posting again. I cannot tell you how regular my post will be but I will try to make them happen.

Today’s topic is Military Role-play. Because Master and I both served in the military, it is a request that we both field many times. The requisites needed for this type of role-play are command presence, the ability to think quickly on your feet, and the ability to intimidate easily.

Command Presence is the act of presenting yourself as a person of authority. Conveying a message in the way you look, how you carry yourself, and how you act and speak does contribute to your command presence. There is nothing more off putting than a man who wants to dominate me who dresses sloppily. You can boost your command presence by doing little things like shining a leather shoe or boot, making sure the gig line of your shirt is in line with your belt buckle and pants. (Gig line is a military term that refers to the alignment of the shirt, belt buckle, and pants fly. In order to be properly dressed, these three should align to form a straight line down the front of a person’s body.) Removing the small threads that sometimes appear on pants and shirts can also help. Make sure to carry yourself with conviction. Stand up straight and pull your shoulders back. Look people in the eyes. When you speak, make sure that your words are loud enough and able to be understood.

The ability to think quickly on your feet will enable you to find small ways to influence the other person. I do this with boy Joey all the time. Stopping and standing still gets my point across. This is NOT cocking my hip and popping my neck. It is just stopping and staring at the other person. It always makes boy Joey aware that something is not right without me having to verbalize.

The ability to intimidate easily adds to your command presence. For some people, this is the Marine drill instructor yelling profanity at the top of his lungs. For others it is just an intent stare. A commonality between all five men that are dominant to me is that they are very good at the stare. Copper and Master David have caused my headspace to immediately become submissve from across a crowded room. People, and especially men, do not like to be stared at. It is a form of aggression. I can say that I will do anything to keep a dominant from staring at me.

The key to any role-play is that everyone has fun. It may feel uncomfortable at first but you will grow into it. It is a way to enjoy the hyper-dominance and hyper-submission of these positions without raising your right hand and doing a tour of duty. Detail. Under my command, Dismissed!!

Thank You

2010-07-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone-

If you are a rabid reader of "Obedience Realized" entries like I am, this boy has some bad news... "Obedience Realized" will be closing indefinitely. I'm sure I speak for all followers when I say it has been a pleasure to read sb Vince's writing and I appreciate him letting me contribute to this excellent blog.... it will definitely be missed!

On His behalf as well as mine, thank you for following!

-Joey

Camp Red Tails

2010-07-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am at Camp Red Tails enjoying spanking fun. I promise that I will have stories.

An Honest Question

2010-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

I read a very honest and questioning email a few days ago. The person was asking me how I, and he, could possibly like something like spanking. Have you read my blog!!!! I sat down and tried to explain it from my own personal experience. This blog came out of that letter.

First off, a good spanking hurts a lot. I am not a pain pig and I do not enjoy pain, but for a spanking to work, my butt needs to be on fire. There is also a humiliation factor to spanking. Let’s face it, I am a forty-three year old man pulling down my pants so that someone can give me a very juvenile form of punishment. Honestly, that is what works for me when getting a spanking; it being a punishment. I do not put two cents into the psychobabble that says I am looking for punishment for things I have done. I can guarantee that is not what is going on with me.

We have had the conversation about me being more dominant than submissive. For me to submit to that kind of humiliation, I need certain things from the Dominant. The Dominant has to be an honorable person. At least, I need to think so. It is a quirk of mine that if I think you are a scumbag, I will not submit. I also need you to have some form of command presence. I normally respond very well to command presence. Sometimes, I get playful and decide I am not going to look at the Dominant or get near them. I tried this once at a Christmas party with Copper. I stayed on the other side of the room although Copper had been giving me the “get your ass over here for a spanking” glare. I evaded him for about three minutes. All of the sudden, the condo shook with Copper bellowing “Vince, get your ass over here!” I was there in seconds flat with semi-hard on.These are some of the things that I need in a Dominant.

I guess the finally and most eternal truth as to why we love spanking is this: It makes our cocks hard. Either watching as a poor boy’s red butt bounces with each lick I apply, or feeling the spanking intensify as I am bent over a Dominant’s knee, I get something out of it. The psychology of why is interesting but has no bearing on the pleasure we feel while being involved with spanking. I have to say that I believe that all things should be taken in moderation…except SPANKING!

The Joys (and Dangers) of Being a Switch at Camp

2010-07-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

As I have said over and over, I spank and I am spanked. I spank more than I am spanked. Camp is a unique experience in this regard because three of the five men I am always obedient (see Master, I do learn) to are present. At Camp Red Tails at any given time, I am just as likely to spank as to be spanked. Let me give you an example.

Last year at camp, I negotiated my yearly spanking of Lance. I like to touch base with Lance and verify that he is still willing to take my ass whippings. In most situations, Lance is a spanker. I have watched him spank many different men over the years at camp. During my second year at camp, Lance approached me about being spanked by me. He informed me that he really wanted me to spank him but that it needed to be done in private and to be done discretely. I care not whether my play is in public or private and I have proven myself very discrete over the years. He has been spanked every camp since by me.

Last year, I walked to Lance’s private cabin behind the Bunkhouse. In the leg pocket of my cargo pants, I carried a small cheek-sized lexan paddle. After I entered his cabin, I had him drop his shorts and bend over my knee. I gave him a nice and long hand spanking. By the end of the hand spanking, Lance was kicking and squirming. I had him stand up and bend over the bed. I then started spanking his butt with the lexan paddle. He immediately started kicking his legs and begging. We both knew that was not going to stop anything. After a good, long paddling and a good bit of crying, we ended our yearly play. As I put my lexan paddle back in the leg pocket of my cargo shorts, I had to aggressively adjust my cock. As happens almost always when I spank, I was fully hard and had nowhere to hide it. I am not a shy person by nature so, after adjusting my cock, I left the cabin and went on a walk of the camp.

I will never know which Copper saw, my hard on or my lexan paddle. Across the main yard I heard Copper yell “Vince, get your butt up here.” “Up here” meant the porch of the Bunk House where people congregate to shoot the breeze and do various “other” things. When I got on the porch, I found Copper sitting in the middle of one of the couches. “ You always carry a lexan paddle?” Copper asked me. I replied with, “ What; This little old thing? I had forgotten it was even there” I lied. Copper told me to drop my shorts and bend over his lap. I really did not care about people seeing my shrinking hard on, I am sure that they had seen it before. Copper pulled out my lexan paddle and began to wear out by lily-white butt. I quickly was grunting and growling as my butt caught on fire. In less than five minutes, I was holding on for dear life to the bottom of the couch. Copper told me to stand up and handed me the lexan paddle. He told me to pull up my shorts. Copper joked “ Glad you could stop by.” “Glad I could help you out” I chortled.

Now you all know why I only sleep two hours a night at Camp Red Tails. It is like a drug for an addict, being spanked or spanking. I wonder who my next spankee will be. Wait, did someone call my name? I am so ready for Camp to start.

Camp Red Tails – Apprehension

2010-06-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

I need to explain something about my last few blogs about Camp Red Tails. I have been challenged about desecrating the anonymity of camp by talking about individuals and my play with them. I have changed everyone’s name I have discussed except for Copper. Guess what… that isn’t his real name either. Guys, your secrets are safe with me.

I have talked to many people about Camp Red Tails. A common fear that is voiced is that the person does not know anyone. I would like to tell you about my experience with this subject at my first camp.

I am sometimes apprehensive when meeting a new group of people that already know each other. I fear being a third wheel or not a good “match” for the group of friends. In the world of kink in general and spanking in particular, you never know what to expect from a new play partner. In 2003, I was having just such an experience at camp with a man named Jerry.

I met Jerry very early in my camp. He was a pleasant guy and he was very upfront about asking me to play in a bottom role. I believe that if you have the balls to ask me to play as a Top or a bottom, I will play if at all possible. Without knowing Jerry or seeing him play, I agreed to bottom for him. I then went on to do the things you have read about in the two previous blogs.

Camp Red Tails is a camp that is about everything spanking. This does not mean that other types of kink are not happening but the primary and most obvious kink is spanking. I have told you about having my back whipped while also being spanked. Because of all of this, I assumed that Jerry wanted to spank me. I could not have been more wrong.

As our appointed time of play came closer, Jerry began to talk about cutting my back open with a whip. I soon found out that he was only interested in using a whip on my back. I had been a bottom in this type of play before and had enjoyed it. I tried to change my headspace to deal with this new information.

Jerry had negotiated to play with another new camper named Randy. Jerry tied Randy to a tree right outside of the bunkhouse. He then used a single-tail on him until Randy’s back was bleeding. Then, Jerry just walked away and left Randy tied to the tree. Campers look out for campers. A camper came over to help Randy. The camper was the man that would later become my Master. Master took care of Randy and had a “discussion” with Jerry.

Because I was involved in the film shoot, I was completely unaware of all this. The time for our play approached and I began to get an uneasy feeling. I had watched Master play and we had talked a little. I was very impressed with him. After lunch, I asked my future Master if he would mind watching our play to make sure it stayed in the negotiated limits. My future Master agreed, but did not tell me about what had happened to Randy.

Although I was having second thoughts about the play, I was determined to keep my word and play. I showed up to the tree at the appointed time. Jerry tied me to the tree. A bout that time, my future Master arrived. Jerry asked him what he thought he was doing there. Master informed him that He was there to keep Jerry honest.

The whipping began. It was fairly light as single tailing goes. I tried to submit to Jerry but his mouth kept aggravating me. I had been in the BDSM community long before I came to camp. I knew what a Master was and what a boy was. Jerry kept calling me boy as we played. I told him that I did not wear his collar around my neck and I was in no way his boy. He continued to call me boy. Finally, I stopped the play. Jerry tried to not release me from the tree. Master quickly cut the rope. Jerry mentioned that he would like to play again at camp. I told him that was never going to happen. Later, my future Master told me about the story of Jerry and Randy playing. He also told me that the first rule of camp is that a camper never does anything they do not want to do. He told me that the campers that had been to camp before were watching out for the new campers; making sure that the play was safe, sane, and consensual. I had not realized that the staff and the campers cared that much. After camp ended that year, Jerry was informed that it would be a good idea if he did not register for camp again.

What did I learn from the experience? Trust your gut feelings. Don’t allow your personal honor to trap you into a bad decision. An important lesson I learned about Camp Red Tails and the reason for this blog is that no matter how nervous or apprehensive you might be about playing at camp, people are watching out for you. The only ways you will get hurt are the ways you want to get hurt. How many other places can you say the same thing?

Camp Red Tails – Surprise #2

2010-06-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

I guess readers can tell that I am ready for camp. I am still telling stories about my first camp in 2003. I hope that you are enjoying my recollections.

I was sitting at lunch after a morning of resting by the pool. All of the sudden, Jason and Kevin sat down next to me. I had seen Jason play and knew that he was a good dominant. I had not seen Kevin play but loved his “look”. Needless to say I was pleased that they sat down beside me!

Jason started the conversation. “We were wondering if you would be interested in doing a one-on- two scene with us.” I immediately said yes. Jason told Kevin and I to meet him at the hanging bar in the middle of camp. Kevin and I both headed that way. I tried to start a conversation with Kevin but he seemed really nervous. His actions began to make me nervous. What had I gotten myself into?

Eventually Jason arrived with a large duffel bag that he placed under the tree. He then told Kevin and I to strip. I could not help but notice Kevin’s kickin’ body and manhood. Jason then had us put on our shoes. Shoes were the only things we were able to wear. Jason then lowered the hanging bar to about eye level. He had us each stand on an opposite side of the bar and face each other. He then used rope and tied our wrists to the bar. We were tied in such a way that the only thing I could grab or hold was Kevin’s hands.

Jason then started pulling the chain to through the pulley. Before I knew it, I was just barely on the balls of my feet. Jason then walked over with a pair of steel handcuffs and a locked them behind our cock and balls. Now Kevin and I were on our tiptoes with our swelling cock and balls stretched to the limit.

Kevin had his back to the duffel bag. I watched as Jason went into the bag and pulled out a lexan paddle. I whispered, “fuck this is going to hurt.” Kevin’s body immediately tensed. As Jason laid on the hard licks, Kevin and I learned that the man not beings spanked could help the man being spanked by thrusting his crotch forward which allowed the man being spanked to bend more at the waist. Also the non-spankee would allow the spankee to lock their hands in a death grip. Surprisingly, these things helped. After a while of using an implement, Jason would spin us around and start beating the other one. Jason used all different types of belts, straps, paddles, whips, and floggers.

My whole existence became helping Kevin and he helping me. As I laid my head next to Kevin’s, I could see what Jason was doing to Kevin. Each lick was broadcast through his body and into mine. All of the sudden the dinner bell started ringing off to my right. I was dazed and confused. Why were they ringing the bell at this time of day.

Jason slowly lowered the bar and gentle took us off the bar. He gently gave us the after-care we both needed and deserved. We got dressed and headed into the lodge for dinner. While I was eating, I realized that I had been suspended and beaten for five and a half hours. I quietly ate my food as I processed what had happened. Damn, camp just keeps better and better. What would happen after dinner?

Spanking at Camp – Surprise

2010-06-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

My first year at Camp Red Tails was 2003. It was an awesome experience for me. I made lasting friendships and had some life altering play. Let me tell you about one such experience.

On my second day of camp, Gil Connley asked if I would be interested in being in a spanking video produced by Man’s Hand Films. I was honored and decided to do it. The video ended up becoming S.M.P.D. 4 Moving Violations, which can be found at http://www.manshandfilms.com/mhv167.html .

The video had Anthony Slade and I being spanked by Officer Morrison, aka Copper. I had met Copper at registration for camp and was immediately intrigued. Up until Camp, I was a non-versatile Dominant. I had traded swats with a few guys but had not really enjoyed it. Camp Red Tails and Copper changed all of that.

I learned the hard way that acting is not needed in a Man’s Hand Films video. Copper went to town on my ass. The yelps and moans and cries were very real. I got one hell of a spanking in that video. After the filming was over, Copper and I decided to continue our play. He took me back to his room and wore my ass out with several straps and belts.

After lunch, I was sitting on one of the couches on the porch of the bunkhouse. A group of us were discussing what turned us on about spanking.

All of the sudden Copper walked out of lodge with a belt in hand. He pointed at me and said “You, get upstairs now.” I had been upstairs before. It held Copper’s bedroom. I was honestly a little worried. How the hell was I going to be able to take another ass beating from him so soon after the last one? As I thought this, I realized that I was right behind him headed for his door. He opened the door and guided me in.

Tied to the bed was a spankee that I had been watching get spanked earlier in the day. He was tied down tightly, spread eagle with his gorgeous ass in the air. He had a gag in his mouth. Copper told me that the spankee had wanted to play with me. Copper handed me a billet strap and offered the boy. As I walked up to the boy with the billet strap, he glanced back and his eyes got big. I knew what that look is. It was the look of a boy wondering if he will be able to take what’s coming. It was a pleading look. “Please don’t hurt me; please hurt me.” I was immediately hard.

I spanked the boy’s butt with every implement I could find in Copper’s room. As I picked up an implement, Copper would inform the boy about which instrument it was. The boy bucked and thrashed and screamed through a very good ass whipping. BY the time I finished, I was soaked with sweat. I pulled my shirt on and returned to the couch downstairs. As I returned, I was greeted with a chorus of “Vince got a spanking. Vince got a spanking.” I just smiled. Camp had gotten even better. Throughout the rest of camp I found myself getting spanked in public and spanking in private. When the five days were up, I was hooked. I swore to myself that I would never miss camp again.

A Sad Goodbye

2010-06-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

My name is Jake, boy to Master Vince. Today I made one of the hardest decisions of my life by asking my Sir to uncollar me. Please know that it was totally driven by factors outside of our relationship. Those of you who know me know what those factors are. It is a private matter that I will not go into here. Sir Vince has opened me up to many new things in the world of kink. He has taken me to places both mentally and physically that I have never been before. Sir has shown me many first time experiences such as cbt, back play, Folsom Street Fair, chemical play, my first butt plug and countless others. All of these experiences I will take with me for the rest of my life. They are experiences I am thankful for having shared with Sir.

Sir Vince is an amazing person; one I have had the privilege to get to know and love. I was lucky to have known him on such a personal level and he will always be part of me. The coming weeks and months will be difficult and I would like to thank those of you who have offered your support. I wish you all the best

jake

sb Vince: I have posted this at the request of Jake. He is a great boy and a great man. I wish peace and happiness for him.

A Great Loss

2010-06-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to say that Jake, the first man to ever wear my collar, has asked me to, and I have uncollared him. He will be deeply missed. I hope that he finds what he wants and what he needs. He is a good man and needs to realize and own that. Jake, you will always be a part of me.

My Last Spanking from my Father

2010-06-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

I want to apologize readers that I have not blogged in a loooooong time. I have had to deal with several things on the home front and at leather events. I promise to pay better attention going forward. A reader asked me about the last time I was spanked by my father. It is a story that people seem to enjoy so I will tell it here. Here it is cielospxxx!

Between graduating from high school and beginning college, I joined the Marine Corps Reserve, turned eighteen, and attended boot camp. I left for boot camp two days after graduating. While in boot camp, I met another guy that was going to be at Texas A&M in the fall. We became good friends. After becoming Marines, we had a week off before we had to report to the Corps of Cadets in College Station. Kelly was from Illinois and really had no place to stay until campus opened. I offered to put him up at my parents’ home and then drive down to campus together.

I brought Kelly to meet my parents and we did all the down homey type things that can be done. When Saturday rolled around, I asked my father for permission to borrow his pickup and visit some of the bars in the next county where alcohol was legal. My father had no problem with us doing it and even slipped me a few dollars. Kelly and I visited three of the bars and had a great time. We were full of piss and vinegar and on the prowl. With our high-and-tight haircuts and post boot camp bodies, we were very popular with the ladies. At this time in my life, fucking and sucking with guys happened far away from home. Most of the time I “passed” as a straight man. After a wild night we headed home. I stopped by the gas station down the street from my parents’ house and filled up my father’s tank. I parked the truck in my father’s parking spot and went upstairs and slept in my old bedroom.

I woke up to my bedroom door slamming in to the wall next to my head. “Get you ass out to the truck! NOW!” yelled my father. Kelly and I both bolted out of the bed and ran downstairs and out to my father’s truck in our boxers. We both stared at the truck and tried to figure out what was going on. It was parked in his spot. The windows were rolled up. I climbed in from the passenger’s side and checked the gas gauge and found it full. I was dumbfounded. I crawled out on the driver’s side and closed the door. That was the moment that I almost died from shock. Starting at the headlight and continuing down the length of the driver’s side of the truck were scratches in the maroon paint. I called Kelly over to look at the scratches. The only thing I could think that might cause the scratches was the brick wall at the bar called Firewalker. I must have parked too close.

All of the sudden, my father walked out of the garage carrying his heavy razor strap. I had only been spanked with that strap twice before in my life. It was brutal.

“Both of you get your asses over here” yelled my father. We both ran to the tailgate and unconsciously lined up beside each other. My father started telling us how much we had dishonored our parents, the Marine Corps, and ourselves. He told us how disappointed he was in both of us. It was not long before tears were running down both our faces. After his lecture, my father told me to bend over the tailgate of the truck. I quickly bent over, hoping that would lessen what was coming. The first lick landed mid-thigh and I screamed in pain. “Boy, that is the only skin I can see,” growled my father. I quickly yanked my boxers to my ankles and bent back over the tailgate. My father then gave me the second worse spanking he ever gave me. As each lick would land, I would yell in pain. My butt felt like skin was being shredded. I knew better than to stand so I screamed and yelled and kicked but stayed in place. I began crying after the second lick. I have no idea how many licks I was given; Kelly later told me that the total was 250. Honestly, I had learned my lesson after the first five licks. My father was a very fast spanker. I never had any time to process the pain. Each lick just multiplied the pain I was feeling. Suddenly, my father told me to stand up. I learned as a child to never pull my pants or underwear up until my father told me to or he left the room. I stood next to Kelly bare-assed naked except for the boxers around my ankles. My father looked at us both and shook his head. He quietly said, “Fix it” and walked into the garage. All of the sudden I realized that our neighbors on both sides of the house and across the street were loading into their cars to head to church. I quickly yanked up my boxers and turned to Kelly. He was white as a sheet. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he had never been spanked before and that he was scared to death that my father was going to do the same to him. Suddenly my cock started to harden. I told him that we need to get dressed and we did.

What have I learned from this experience? I know that the few men that I am submissive to all resemble my father in body type or manner. I know that for me to get into a submissive headspace, I need an intense experience. I know also that although I quickly forget that other people are around when the pain comes, I am definitely an exhibitionist. Hope you enjoyed my pain. Occasionally, I still do.

Rape: Reality, Not Fantasy

2010-06-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

Jay and I met at a weekend BDSM event put on by Discipline Corps. I was collared to Master Glen. Jay asked Master Glen for permission to play with me. Master Glen allowed it. Jay tied me spread eagle and standing in the playspace. Jay went through a multitude of play including spanking, TT, and sensory deprivation. When Jay had finished, I thanked him for his play and returned to Master Glen’s feet in the cigar lounge.

After a while, Jay came into the cigar lounge to speak with Master Glen. He asked Master Glen for permission to take me back to Jay’s hotel room for more BDSM play. Master Glen asked me if I wanted to do go back to Jay’s room. I told Master Glen that I would not be opposed to it. Master Glen gave the ground rules for the play: no blood, no drugs, and no sex. Jay and I both agreed. Master Glen sent us on our way.

When I walked into Jay’s room he ordered me to strip. I did and folded my clothes and placed them by the door. He then tied me spread eagle on the bed. He spanked me and then did some heavy back play. He stripped and stuck his cock in my face. I reminded him of the ground rules Master Glen had given. He jumped up off of the bed. The next thing I knew he wass behind me and slapped my ass. I was sure that more spanking will ensue. I felt Jay shove his cock deep into me. I screamed in pain and rage. I fought the restraints but I could not get out. At some point, my mind blanked out. I have no memory until I was curled up in a ball on the floor. Jay pushed me out in the hall and threw my clothes out behind me. He then slammed and locked the door. In a mental haze, I got dressed and drove home.

This rape occured in 2004. Why do I share it now? What can we learn from this incident? Trusting someone you just met is a dangerous thing? Allowing someone to tie you down without a trusted third party present can end badly? You will ask the questions that you will about my rape. I still ask questions. We didn’t I rip Jay limb from limb when he untied me? Was any of this my fault?

My advice is that you think when you play. Take the risks that you are comfortable with. If someone comes to you with an accusation of rape, do not question them but support them in anyway that they will let you.

When Fun Becomes Abuse

2010-05-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

I wrote this blog because of a recent blog by Wild Cuddler. If you have been in the scene very long, you have either left bruises or had them left on you. Hell. Some wear them as a sign of honor and accomplishment. I have to admit that I get rock hard seeing bruising on certain parts of the body.

The problem is when any of it becomes non-consensual. The physical signs are hard to see and understand in our community. How do you judge if it is abuse?

Is this abuse? I would have to advise speaking to the person this happened to. If they say it was abuse or non-consensual. You have your answer. The answer in this case is that it is not abuse. The picture is of my ass after a particularly intense session with a man I see for punishment.

Readers listen very carefully to what I am about to say: Non-consensual emotional or physical abuse has NO place in our community or any community. As a community, we ostracize perpetrators. Having been a submissive that survived an abusive situation, I ask the community to be hyper-vigilant. If someone says there is abuse then there is no question.

Submissives are not the only ones that can be abused. It happens to all different types. If you find yourself in an abusive situation, talk to someone and get out. WildCudler offered his phone number, 612-293-6787, for help in an abusive situation. I want to add my email, hide_tanyour@hotmail.com, and my number, 760-898-2109. Find support somewhere.

Bastinado

2010-04-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

Bastinado is a form of corporal punishment whereby the soles of the feet are beaten with an object such as a cane or rod, a club, a piece of wood, or a whip. It is also sometimes favoured as a form of torture because, although extremely painful, it leaves few physical marks.

At an event like Inferno, Esprit de Corps, Camp Red Tails, or International Mr. Leather, it is possible to wear out most of the surface area of the body. Bastinado is nother form of corporal punishment that will bring tears to the yes of most. It is also the punishment that keeps on giving. If it is done well, the feet will hurt for a long time after the actual punishment.

I find that tying the submissive down on his back with his feet in the air is an optimal position. The submissive can see the strokes as they are coming. It is a very humiliating position that looks very similar to a baby being changed. I prefer to use a cane or paddle. The cane is infinitely more painful in my opinion. Because of the nerve bundles located in the soles of the feet, the cane feels like the foot is being cut with a knife. Many submissives will become embarrassed by their reaction to the bastinado. The act looks so benign while the pain is extremely intense.

To take bastinado to almost tortuous ends, a doubled up electric cord can be used. Very few submissives can receive the bastinado with an electric cord and not be reduced to tears very quickly. A submissive will have a hard time walking after the use of electric cords.

There are generally four different areas on the foot that a Dominant will attack. Striking across the bottom of the heels is very painful. Striking across the insteps is extremely painful and the most dangerous. Striking across the balls of the feet is the most common spot used by Dominants and the least dangerous. Finally, striking across toes is unbelievably painful.

Pup Dave’s response to this blog says it all: “My only comment on having my feet worked is that it was SO much worse than I could have possibly imagined.” Enough said.

Domestic Discipline or Father/son Spanking

2010-04-29T01:03:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that my first love is spanking? I have been asked a multitude of times if I get into domestic discipline. My answer has always been, “HELL YEA!”

It is hard for me to the express the intensity of the feelings in a domestic discipline situation. There is the small bit of role-play involved. A good Dominant can cause the submissive’s headspace to kick into high gear with just a look.

As a Dominant, I find that submissives are almost always attracted domestic discipline. The more unexpected the spanking, the easier it is to bring tears. Let me give you an example. Pup Dave and I have played many times. Our play runs the spectrum of intensity and role-play. A recent report card brought about a really intense spanking and domestic discipline scene.

Pup Dave has a very interesting report card. It is from the military boarding school that he is attending. Lets just say that his A in weapon handling is the only light in a dismal report. I called Davey into the living room to discuss the report card. I lectured Davey on the fact that I had attended the school as a boy also and that his teachers were aware of my military career. With him bent over my knee, I told him that I was disappointed in his performance because he has the ability but refuses to apply himself to his studies. He answer was to tell me that his teachers didn’t like him. The spanking began. I proceeded to wear Davey’s butt out. After a while, he ended over my bed. I used the belt that my father had used on me as a boy. I used frat paddles, straps, and canes to make my point. When Davey cries became too loud, I put his underwear in his mouth. I spanked his ass until I felt that I had made my point. I had Davey stand with his nose in the corner so he could think about his failures as a student and the ways in which he had dishonored me. I then sent Davey to write a letter to his teachers to apologize for his attitude and his lack of effort.

Honestly, by the end, Pup Dave and I both were leaking pre-cum everywhere. It had really touched a spanking nerve. I don’t know what makes domestic discipline so very intense. All I can say is that it turns many a man on.

Master is very aware of this. Our play sometimes revolves around domestic discipline. This very easy to do since I have chores and responsibilities around the house. I try to be a good boy but sometimes I need a good ass whipping to set me on the right path. It is all a part of what we do. So, the next time a man tells you, “ I am a good boy!” wear his ass out and let him know that if he doesn’t change his ways there will be more to come.

Service for the Master or Love of the Master

2010-04-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

The distinction between serving a Master and loving a Master is a very perilous demarcation. Too much emphasis on one will cause problems for both the Dominant and the submissive. I want to put my two cents in on the subject.

Normally, a submissive will start his relationship with a Master by focusing on service to the Master. The submissive will learn the protocol of the Master, the Master’s wants and desires, and the Master’s idiosyncrasies. The submissive uses these to serve the Master to his utmost ability. The problem comes when the Master’s critiques a portion of the submissive’s service. Because the submissive has put all he has into the service of the Master, he feels personally attacked. The critique is taken as a critique of the submissive, his abilities, and his motives. This can have devastating consequences on the submissive and the relationship between the Master and the submissive.

Let me use an example to highlight my point. The Master desires a clean kitchen. The submissive knows this and washes and wipes everything down. He makes sure the dishes are washed and put away. He sweeps and mops the floor until it is sparkling. When the Master comes home, he critiques the way in which the dishes are put away. The submissive is humiliated and demoralized.

First, the Master is completely able of doing anything he desires with his submissive. He has chosen to correct something that is not done to his standard. Most Masters would be and are shocked to find out how a similar critique affects their submissives. The submissive feels what he feels. If the overall issues is not dealt with, the Master will become more and more critical and the submissive will spiral down into deep depression.

Another way to approach serving a Master is by being constantly aware of the submissive’s love of the Master. If the submissive serves the Master because of his love of the Master, a critique becomes just a critique. It in no way diminishes or belittles the submissive’s love of the Master. Starting with love of the Master, the submissive welcomes instruction, punishment, and praise. The love is unchanged.

Returning to the example, the Master critiques the way in which the dishes are put away. Focusing on the love of the Master. The submissive learns how his actions came up short and learns to complete the cleaning, as the Master desires.

These are issues I have had to deal with as a Dominant and as a submissive. It is sometimes very difficult for me to remember that all I do is because of the desire of the Master. I use a mantra to help remind me. I have found that this allows my service to Master to grow. Does Master like the way I do things? Not always. But hearing his critique does not cause me emotional pain. I am going to close this blog with a prayer that helps to focus me on the love of Master:

The submissive's Prayer

Allow me the strength to answer questions I can't fathom.

Allow me the spirit to know His needs.

Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts.

Allow me the serenity to serve Him in peace.

Allow me the love to show Him myself.

Allow me the tenderness to comfort Him.

Allow me the light to show us the way.

Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Him.

Let me be able to show Him each day my love of my service to Him.

Let me open myself up to completely belong to Him.

Let my eyes show Him the same respect, rather I sit at His side, or kneel at His feet.

Let me accept my punishment with grace and strength.

Let me learn to please Him, beyond myself.

Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely.

Give me the strength to please us both.

Permit me to love myself, in loving Him.

Allow me the peace of serving Him.

For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make His life complete, as He makes mine.

Got Milked?

2010-04-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

Forced orgasms, more commonly referred to as ‘milking’ is a form of cum control that can be practiced during BDSM sessions. Milking often accompanies other forms of cum control such as chastity and edge play. Everyone likes to get off, but milking takes an orgasm to a whole new level.

When getting off, whether during sex or masturbation, most guys reach a peak when they first release their load and then slowly relax. However, good boys always have a lot more to give the Dominant. The entire body (especially the cock) is very sensitive just after an orgasm, and continuing to jerk or suck afterwards brings an extreme post-orgasm pleasure. Some guys can actually do this to themselves when they jerk off- but for many it is too intense- often described as almost painful. Jerking is not the only way to give a boy this experience. Prostate milking is the repeated and rigorous massaging of the prostate until orgasm (and beyond). It is like having an orgasm multiplied by 100, and often the boy will squirm to get away as it gets more and more intense. If a boy is milked several times during the same session, the intensity will continue to increase each time- and eventually he’ll want to jump right out of his skin.

It is easy to see why this sort of play is often implemented while a boy is in bondage (i.e. tied or mummified). This allows the Dominant complete control over the session. Often a dominant can make a boy cum over and over again. Even if the dominant gets tired it is not a problem…. some guys even like to hook a boy up to a milking machine (and I’m sure the boy likes it too)… I suppose it is good to take advantage of technology if we have it…. what’ll they think of next?

Milking is the flip side of edge play- just as the Dominant controls when the boy gets to cum during edge play, the Dominant gets to decide when it is over during a forced orgasm. It is a very pleasurable experience for both Dom and sub. Milking usually results in a huge load- so bring your umbrella if the boy has been in chastity for a while.

Have fun!

Joey

Jail or Prison Play

2010-04-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

Jail or Prison Play is a BDSM activity that includes the physical processes of being arrested and incarcerated in a prison or jail. Master and I have both worked as corrections officers. Master retired from a large city’s jail. I worked within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. We are both well versed in the intricacies of the intake and treatment of prisoners.

The first step in most jail scenes is the arrest. If you have ever watched “COPS” on the TV, you know how to do this. Have the submissive place his hands on the hood of the vehicle. Make him step back until his body’s center of gravity is off-center. Have the submissive interlace his fingers behind his head. Place the cuffs on without ever releasing a firm grip on the cuffs. Place the hand opposite of the hand you will use to pat search on the shoulder of the prisoner. Begin patting down the arms, torso, crotch, legs, and feet. The reason for placing the opposite hand on the shoulder is simple. If the submissive begins to stand up or resist, with just a small shove he is flat of his face. After the Dominant has completed the search of inmate, he will take all property or things found on the inmate’s body and place them in a clear plastic bag. Now is the time to transport the prisoner to “jail”.

Upon entering the “jail” space, the prisoner should be un-cuffed and be made to stand an arm’s length away from the Dominant. Now is the time for the humiliation of the strip search. Have the submissive take of his right shoe and hand it to you. Feel around the inside of the shoe. Bend the heel and toe toward each other to check for the presence of a shank. Do the same with the other shoe. Next have the submissive take of his shirt and hand it to you. Check the shirt for contraband. Pay special attention to the seams. Next come the socks. Then off come the jeans. Check the pockets, seams, and cuffs. Finally the underwear comes off. Make sure to check the fly and the double fabric at the taint.

The submissive is now standing before you completely naked. Have him raise his arms and hands until the palms are parallel with the ground and the arms are fully extended. Have the submissive then turn the palms over to make sure nothing is in them. Have the submissive spread his fingers to make sure nothing is being held between them. Next have the prisoner run his fingers through his hair to check for contraband there. Next have the submissive place both hands on top of his head. Have him, with one hand only, lift up just the prisoner’s cock. Next have him lift up his balls. Have him make a 180-degree turn so that his back is facing you. Have him lift up one foot then another so that the heel can be inspected. Then, with the balls still pulled up, have the submissive squat and cough deeply. This will dislodge anything placed in the rectum.

After the strip search, there are many different things you can do depending on your kink. I personally enjoy re-cuffing the submissive and spanking the hell out of his butt. I also enjoy having him kneel and placing his head on the floor. This is a perfect position for a hot fuck.

Jail Play is an interest of many people. Take it and make it your own. Remember “ you have the right to……”.

Physical Endurance Play

2010-04-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

Physical Endurance Play is BDSM play that uses physical exercise to help the submissive become more submissive or be broken by a Dominant. Any physical exercise can be used in this play. When starting any strenuous exercise program, speak with a doctor.

Physical Endurance Play looks very similar to the interaction between a United States Marine Corps Drill Instructor and a recruit. The dominant will use exercises such as pushups, sit-ups, lunges, pull-ups, dirty dozens, and wall squats to exhaust the submissive or break him down into crying fits. The punishment given after exhaustion or breaking must be severe enough to push the submissive’s endurance. I normally use a punishment of 100 hard licks with my “Ass-Buster” strap. Goals should be set on the exercises that are not easy to reach. The reward for reaching all of the goals is the stopping of play and after-care from the Dominant.

The Dominant can use any exercises he desires. The exercises I mentioned above are my favorites. An integrity issue that the Dominant should consider is his ability to complete the same exercise regimen. It does not enhance the Dominant position if the he weighs eight hundred pounds and is punishing a submissive because he can’t do two hundred pushups.

A pushup is an exercise done at a slow to moderate cadence. The Dominant counts the cadence and the submissive counts the number of pushups. The submissive has his palms and tiptoes touching the ground. The arms are extended and the knees never tough the ground. The arms are bent until the elbows make a perfect 90-degree angle. Then, the arms are extended again.

The sit-up is an exercise down in a slow cadence. The Dominant counts the cadence and the submissive counts the number of pushups. The sit-up is started in lying on the ground. The arms are extended directly out from the chest. The torso is lifted until the tips of the fingers touch the knees. The torso is then slowly brought back to the ground.

A dirty dozen is a combination of the pushup and the sit-up. The submissive starts by doing one pushup, one sit-up, and one jump in the air. The submissive will do two pushups, two sit-ups, and two jumps. This is done until the submissive has completed the twelfth round.

A wall squat actually has no movement. The submissive stands eighteen inches from a strong wall. The submissive then squats until his thighs are parallel with the ground and his torso is against the wall. The arms are then extended. This position is extremely hard to maintain and normally will break a person.

Are you tired yet? I am by just writing this blog. Dominants make sure that you can read your submissive well enough to keep him from injuring himself. An added bonus to this play is a well exercised submissive. Tired but well exercised.

Cigar Play

2010-03-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

Boy Keith

Cigar play is a play in which a cigar is used to heat, singe, burn and use smoke and ash to excite the submissive. Everything imaginable and some unimaginable things can be done with cigars. This is one of those fetishes that you either enjoy or don’t enjoy. I have never found someone that is on the fence about cigar play.

I hope Jeff Foxworthy will forgive me but, if you love the smell of a good cigar, you are into cigar play. As with many things, I love cigar play from both sides, Dominant and submissive. I find that a hot man and the smell of a good cigar is a sexual turn on for me and hopefully for those who I dominate in cigar play.

Master and I believe that smoking a good cigar is a very masculine and dominant thing to do. Master only occasionally allows me to smoke a cigar and it is these moments that are very special to me. The heavy sexual connotations start with the lighting of the cigar. The Dominant takes a cutter and circumcises the cigar. He then places it between his lips and rolls the cigar until he finds the best place to draw smoke. He then takes a butane lighter and heats the end until he has a bright ember on the end. He takes several quick draws to make sure the ember is fired and that the draw of smoke is perfect. He then inhales the smoke into his lungs and out through his nose. If he desires, he will take a large draw and hold it in his mouth. He will grab his submissive and force his lips to the submissive’s. He will then forcibly blow the smoke into the submissive’s mouth and force him to inhale all of the smoke.

Depending on the Dominant’s preferences, he may have the submissive act as an ashtray and eat the cigar ash. I have to say as a submissive that I enjoy eating ash. It is a very submissive act. The ash does not taste bad on a good cigar. The action is very sexual in the submissive’s willingness to take whatever the Dominant desires to put in his mouth.

The Dominant can also use the ember of his cigar to singe hair on the submissive. Erogenous zones like the nipples, earlobes, cock and balls, taint, and hole are all areas that react well when a hot ember gets close. There are some Dominants that actually burn the skin with the ember of the cigar and submissives that love it.

Ok guys now I am hard as a rock and in a chastity device. I better stop while I am ahead.

sb vince

Foot Worship

2010-03-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Foot worship is the term for the BDSM practice of one person, giving extreme adulation to the foot of another person. Foot worship can include licking the foot of a Dominant, massaging it, kissing it, praising it, allowing oneself to be stomped or trampled by it, etc. Others gain sexual pleasure from the odors present from sweaty feet, and unclean socks and footwear form part of the foot worship activity. Typically the enjoyment of foot worship stems from the fact that the foot is usually considered one of the "lowest" and least appreciated parts of the body; thus if a submissive worships the foot of a Dominant then the submissive acknowledges that he is raising up the Dominant by making sure that he worships even the least appreciated part of his or her body.

Foot worship can be a very sensual scene to watch. The interaction between the Dominant and the submissive is very intimate and sexual. The more passion that the submissive gives the task, the more intense the scene is. Ideally, both will become aroused from the play. In some scenes, one or both will cum on he Dominant’s feet.

I have to admit that I am more into boot worship as a Dominant ad a submissive than I am into foot worship. With that being said, there is something about the act that is erotic to me. I could be the adulation and love shown by the submissive. It could be the acceptance shown by the Dominant. I just find the act very, very interesting.

Maybe some of you foot enthusiasts could give us an idea about how it works for you. Until then, make sure that you keep “sticking your foot in your mouth”.

sb vince

Tickling

2010-03-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

Tickling is the act of touching a part of the body, so as to cause involuntary twitching movement or laughter. Signals from nerve fibers associated with both pain and touch are associated with tickling sensations. An odd thing about the leather community is that those players who are into large amounts of pain are very anti-tickling.

I usually see tickling happening in conjunction with predicament bondage. The body’s response to tickling is to release endorphins just like it does when faced with pain. Because of the endorphins, the play high is the same and the boy drop is the same.

I use tickling when doing a long-term spanking session. It changes the stimuli and breaks up the routine. It is normally very unexpected.

In BDSM, the submissive is tied down and the ticklish areas are exposed. The Dominant starts off slow and tickles with a feather and builds up to intense tickling over the duration of the scene. The tickling starts off being pleasant, but then degenerates into severe pain. This appeals to the Dominant who likes to hurt his submissive but it also appeals because the victim is helpless and it is a well known fact that tickling is not in fact a pleasant experience. It is also easier to tickle someone than it is to use whip, so new Dominants frequently use this form of play to control another.

As with all other forms of play consent is critical. Limits and boundaries need to be set before the scene starts and the safe word of a submissive should never be ignored. The responsible Dominant needs to ensure that his submissive remains safe and the responsible submissive needs to ensure that the Dominant is informed of anything that might influence the level of play.

Boy Jake and I had to have a conversation about just this topic. I have used tickling on boy Jake off and on throughout our relationship. He gets to the pain quickly and reacts accordingly. During a session at Master’s house, Master yelled at me to stop tickling boy Jake. Honestly, I was offended that Master had stepped in to a situation between boy Jake and me. I immediately mentally recited my mantra and calmed down. Latter that evening, Master explained that boy Jake had told him that he was held down and tickled by his big brothers until it was painful. Boy Jake had explained that he despised tickling. I was dumbfounded. Boy Jake had never told me any of this. In his defense, he thought that he was following orders and letting me do what I desire. I do not think he will make that same mistake again.

Like all the things we do, we have perverted a childhood action into something that we derive sexual pleasure from. So the next time you have a boy tied down and he is looking at you, his eyes a saying “Come on Sir, make it hurt so good!”

Safe, Sane, and Consensual in the Playspace

2010-03-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

I have to admit to a lapse in sanity. I was looking back over my posts and realized that I had not covered one of the basic ideas in the leather community: Safe Sane Consensual. I will rectify this now.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual is an easy way to judge your and someone else’s play. Safe entails minimizing the possibilities of health, physical or mental problems during play. Sane demands that the play have thought and concern used in it. Use of any drug including alcohol violates this precept. Consensual means that both parties have negotiated the scene and both parties are free to play or not play.

If you have played in a public playspace, then you have come across a Dungeon Master. The Dungeon Master is the final word on whether scenes are Safe, Sane, and Consensual. He makes a determination on the Safe aspects of the scene. Is the play safe for the participants? Is the scene safe for voyeurs? Does the scene conflict with a participant’s health or mental stability? Most of these things can be decided just by looking. If the Dungeon Master has a concern he can quietly speak to the Dominant to get verification. Let me give you an example. When Master brings out the whips in the playspace, it is obvious that he knows what he is doing. He makes sure that there is clearance and space to throw the whip. It is obvious that I know what I am in for. I step up to the cross voluntarily. Our whip play can be contrasted with a novice who picks up a whip for the first time and wraps it around a support beam (yes I saw a man do this and he wonders why no one will let him whip them).

Sane is a concept that is a little trickier. What is completely insane to a person can be a perfectly sane scene to another person. This puts the Dungeon Master at a disadvantage. Knowing the players and their play style helps the Dungeon Master decide what is sane and what is not. Interrogation Scenes that I have participated in looked to be abuse in the playspace. If a Dungeon Master had a question about the sanity of the scene, I or others would explain it to him. This is opposed to the scene where a Dominant ties a submissive to a railroad track and gets in the car and drives off (this scene could be sane if the Dominant has put people there to watch the track and the submissive)..

Consensual play is very important. People involved must have their mental faculties to have informed consent. In negotiation, a submissive can say that I will do anything You ask of me. He has consented. But should the play become unbearable, the submissive can stop the play at anytime. I can demonstrate this concept by talking about a abduction and flogging scene. A consensual and a non-consensual scene look the same from the outset. But as time goes on, the non-consensual scene will have the submissive fighting for dear life and very angry.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual is a good way to judge our personal play. Because it is so fluid, a person should never be offended if someone asks about these three words in relation to a scene. It is the community taking care of its own and expelling those who can’t play by the rules. Play well together and be safe…..sane and consensual.

sb vince

Caning

2010-03-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Spanking is my first love. I love everything about it. I would like to write today about another form of spanking: caning. For my British cousins, this is only my interpretation of caning as it is practiced in the U.S.

Caning is the use of a light wooden object, a cane, on any part of the body. I am specifically speaking about caning on the butt. The type of cane used and the amount of strokes can mediate the severity of the caning. Before you run of screaming a caning, although painful at the time, would leave only superficial welts and bruises lasting a few days.

The above picture is a rattan cane. It is a fine implement for any disciplinarian to carry. You will find sealed and unsealed rattan. The sealed rattan is made of rattan that is sealed with clear polyurethane. This minimizes the possibilities of cracks appearing in the rattan. The unsealed rattan canes have a different feeling to them, in the hand and on the butt. A bonus is that the tips can be made more painful.

Depending on how traditional to British caning an individual or store is, there can be some terminology that is needed. A nursery cane or junior cane is sometimes used for the lightest cane, as it would be used in Britian for children under school age. A senior cane is a heavier type (about 0.4 inches thick, 31.5 inches long) than the junior cane and is frequently used for older children (or except for the lightest offences); maybe synonymous with the adult cane. The reformatory cane was reserved for the worst, '(otherwise) incorrigible' juveniles. About 0.5 inches thick and 4 foot long, it was often reserved for older inmates and was used in severe cases; a similar term is Borstal cane. The Singapore cane, used in Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei for the judicial and prison punishment of adult criminals, is half an inch in diameter and 4 ft (1.2 m) long, and can cause deep wounds and permanent scars if a large number of strokes is inflicted in the manner that is used there. I know, more information than you wanted. I know the real question is what does it feel like or how do I use it.

Master loves caning. He has a collection of fifty-three canes. The total used to be fifty-seven, but He broke four on me. The pain from a cane is very different from other spankings. When the cane lands, the pain is delayed for less than a second. A sharp pain like someone has cut you open develops. Just as you try to get a handle on the pain, a second stroke normally lands. I am normally making very loud noises when Master uses his canes. Imagine that.

I also enjoy using the can on submissives or play partners. Tere are a few things to be mindful of when caning. First, make sure your distance is correct from the submissve. This will allow you to land on both cheeks and alleviate wrapping(ok, Master decided that I needed to feel it some more; it hurts ). When using a cane, it is recommended that ou lay the stroke just a little above or below the stroke before. This will create the beautiful barcode design. Some players purposely cross the strokes. This called cross-hatching. At the point that the two strokes cross, most submissive’s skin wil split open. It isn’t for the squemish and I refuse to do it.

Caning is a great way change up a spanking or your playtime. Enjoy. Make sure you ask for “Six of the Best”.

sb vince

Camp Red Tails - A Spanking Dream

2010-03-23T06:04:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with another spanking switch yesterday and he asked me to blog about Camp Red Tails. Here you go liltigger.

Camp Red Tails is a spanking camp set in the hills of Northern California. The camp is held this year July 15 – 20, 2010. The producers of Man’s Hand Films put the camp on each year.

The lodging at the camp is generous. There are thirteen cabins and the bunkhouse. The bunkhouse is an awesome place to stay. Three large rooms with several bunk beds in each room. It is really hot to be in a room of men sleeping and spanking.

The play spaces are countless. The woodshed is a large air-conditioned room with various benches and spanking areas. The camp is in the back of a canyon so nudity and spanking can happen anywhere, except the dinner table. The Olympic sized pool and secluded hot tub are favorite spanking areas.

Another aspect I love about camp is the people. The age range runs between 18-68. There a re spankers and spankees of very age and ilk. The people are friendly. The staff goes out of their ways to make everyone feel comfortable. If you don’t have fun at Camp Red Tails, you were not alive.

The food that is provided is delicious. The only way that you would go hungry is if you forgot to go to the meal. Coffee is available around the clock in the dinning room. At the bunkhouse and the woodshed, coolers with soft drink beer, and water are available.

Lets get down to the topic at hand; spanking. If you love spanking, this is the camp for you. You will see spanking happen when you arrive and it will not stop until the end of camp. I have spanked or been spanked in just about every place you can be spanked in camp. Wait. I have never spanked or been spanked in the red shed or in the bathrooms of the wood shed; maybe this year.

So I guess the only question now is….a you man enough to let you spanking desires run free? Come on. Pick up a belt or drop your pants and contact Man’s Hand Films at http://www.manshandfilms.com/camp.html .

Body Modification - Tattoos

2010-03-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Body Modification in the context of BDSM is a definite art. It is used to inflict pain and make a permanent change in the submissive. There are several ways to do this but I would like to talk about tattooing.

Tattooing has been around as long as humans have had ash and sharp tools. Pre-historic man mixed ash and sap to form their first tattoos. A person can have a tattoo and have nothing to do with the BDSM community. Some people in the community do use tattooing to either mark their property or to show their love and loyalty to a Dominant.

The above picture is an excellent example of a BDSM tattoo. It is on the super hot Pup Dave and shows his love and service to Master David. Master David's last name has been pixlated out. Anyone that has been tattooed will tell you that shading is the most uncomfortable part. I think it feels like taking a stick and rubbing it against your arm over and over.

There is some pain to be had in tattooing but the reality is that it is normally not even close to the pain we play with. The interesting thing to watch is the submissive getting the tattoo. I have watched several and it is almost a religious experience. At first, the submissive fights the stinging of the needle. Then, either the submissive is reminded or remembers why he is modifying his body for the pleasure of his Dominant. The submissive will then accept and seek the pain. It is an awesome sight to see.

I have two boys and my first is getting tattooed tomorrow. He is being tattooed with a tattoo of my design. Boy Jake has a work issue that would preclude him from wearing my collar at home or work. This tattoo will be my collar.

As with many tattoos, Boy Jake’s is very symbolic. The barbed wire marks him as property. The chain represents his service and gift of slavery to me. The rope symbolizes Jake’s life being ties to mine in all its different ways. The Arabic script is a phrase that is close to my boy’s and my heart. Because I created it, I can guarantee that no one else has one just like Jake’s. In a way it is like a cattle brand.

There are health risks that must be addressed about tattooing. Clean needles are required under state laws. The tattoo artist will take the needles out of sterile packaging in from of you. If not, get up. Also, if you have a tendency to bleed a lot, The tattoo may take longer to heal. The biggest no-no is never drink or drug before a tattoo. The artist is liable and will not do the work.

Tattooing is a BDSM activity in its own right. Enjoy it sensibly. Get inked.

Leather Tribes and Families

2010-03-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

slave paul

After yesterday’s blog, a reader asked me to expand on my explanation of leather families and tribes. I define leather families and tribes as groups of leather folk that live together or have lines of obedience that include more than two people. Included in this definition is the fact that these persons participate in BDSM activities,

Leather families are groups of people that have a emotional bond that is tied to their BDSM activities. This emotional bond unites the family to care and correct tits members. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

I know a Master that was a roommate with a submissive. The submissive was not his boy. They became friends. About five years ago, the submissive almost died. The dominant that he had did not take care of him. The Master continues to take care of him. The Master visits him in a nursing home three times a week. This is what it means to be part of a tribe and family. The Master in the story is my Master and the boy is boy john. Boy john cannot speak or walk but he does communicate with Master and me. He is part of the leather tribe. He is in need and we help him out.

My leather family consists of Master, myself, boy Jake, and boy Joey. If you would like to make it sound like the straight world, Master is my Sire. Boy Jake and Boy Joey are my sons. They are also grandboys to Master. The emotional bond between us is very strong. I cannot choose my biological family but I choose to call each of these individuals a blood relative.

Because we share that bond, there is an extra burden placed on the Dominants in the family. We also have to concern ourselves with the happiness of the family. This sometimes entails punishment. As anyone in a leather family will tell you, play is play and punishment is something that you never want again.

There are several large leather families out there. Their continued success is a success for all of us in the community. “Per Unitatum Vis” feels appropriate. It means “Through Unity Strength”.

Why BDSM?

2010-03-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

I guess the honest answer is because it makes our cocks hard. Different people get different things out of it. I want to talk about three common things that we get out of it: empowerment, ecstasy, and family.

Practitioners of BDSM are playing into roles. A submissive willingly allows the Dominant to have control. The submissive has the power to stop a scene at anytime. The dominant has taken responsibility for the submissive health, both mental and physical, and his safety.

I see BDSM being empowering because the submissive “lets go” of the control. As you know, I have done both. As a submissive, I face the fear, the pain, and the catharsis of the event. I come through that pain and humiliation with a clearer picture of myself. It also builds on the ability to pass through a session. I have taken the pain and I am all right. Going though this particular pain prepares and strengthens me for those scenes that come my way.

My theological studies have told me that religious ecstasy is a life-changing event. I have found that other people and I experience that level of ecstasy within BDSM. The truth is that the ecstasy is not felt in every scene but the ability to get there is inherently possible.

Some of the ways that this ecstasy is experienced is by a sense of floating, seeing rapidly changing colors, the sharpening of one or all of your senses, or an out of body experience.

Another reason we do what we do is the sense of family. Everyone’s experience of his or her biological families is different. In the Leather lifestyle, we congregate into tribes. We do this for protection and survival. The play we have re-enforces the leather families that we are in.

I guess the only way to close this blog is to write the old adage: That which does not kill me makes me stronger.

sb vince

Catharsis

2010-03-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

Catharsis is a word and an experience that many in the BDSM community are familiar with. For those who may not know what it means, a catharsis is defined as a purging of emotion that brings about renewal and release from tension. Most people I have met in the BDSM, particularly those into scenes that involve inflicting and receiving physical pain, have been told, “I cannot imagine what you could possibly find appealing about doing that!”

In short- it is usually the cathartic experiences that people have in BDSM that keep them coming back for more. I have heard these experiences discussed in many contexts, and have heard of the many ways that they have manifested. Sometimes it is the pure physical intensity of a session that will take the body and the mind to a new place, and other times it is a very special connection that exists between the dominant and the submissive that is enough to elicit a VERY intense physical and emotional experience.

You will hear guys talk about the endorphin rush that accompanies their play, and that increases with intensity and emotional connection. The body releases endorphins in response to new, sudden, and/or intense stimuli. Physical pain is widely known to be a cause for endorphin release. Therefore it is not surprising that when engaging in BDSM play, the body is prone to flood with endorphins in response to the physical pain, especially during times when the intensity rises to a place the submissive has never been to before. However, it is not just physical pain that can cause this reaction. Strong emotional feelings of excitement, stress, and fear can also cause this reaction. Physically, it is the body defending itself…. Mentally, endorphins often give the individual intensely gratifying feelings.

People react to these experiences in different ways. Crying is a very common reaction. I used to become confused when I would see a grown man getting a whipping that was really not that intense, yet he was bawling his eyes out. I would think, “does it really hurt THAT bad?” The answer- NO! In fact, I have heard many people say that it is almost completely an emotional connection that brings their tears, and that the pain itself is merely a motivator. Who hasn’t cried their eyes out at one point or another? I think everyone could agree that it often releases a lot of built up tension. This is why many people crave this experience and want someone to “make them cry.” I have heard men talk about how receipt of a beating helps to eliminate feelings of stress and guilt. Another description of these experiences that I’ve heard very often and have, in fact, had myself, is a feeling of being “high” off of the pain, the connection, and/or the session. Some people become withdrawn and lethargic, some sleep, and some people even become hyperactive. Regardless of their poison in BDSM, many view these experiences as the perfect drug.

Although it is amazing to have cathartic experiences, they don’t supplant the use of common sense and the realization of one’s own limits. It can be like any other addiction in which too much is never enough, which can have terrible consequences. Another dark side of these experiences is that some people emotionally crash after having them, and go from feeling on top of the world to depressed, sad, or anxious. Always remember… what goes up must come down. Therefore, as mentioned countless times within Obedience Realized, it is always important to play with responsible people- people who will help you go up, but can also help you come back down from these intense experiences.

Be safe, have fun, and enjoy!

Joey

So You Want to Be a Master

2010-03-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

Gary S.

As you know from earlier blogs, a Master/slave relationship is just another flavor of the rainbow. It is not better than any other relationship and the persons involved are not more authentic. It is what it is.

As a Master, you have taken the control position in the relationship. You had better have your act together. You are now responsible for two or more people. The master has to make decision in regard to the training of his slaves. The most compelling relationships are ones in which everyone values clarity and honesty. My slave boy and my prospective slave boy know that when I ask a question, I want a real answer. I want them to express their needs. As a Master, it is imperative that the lines of communication be open. The Master/slave relationship is intense and creates intense feelings. I demand that my boys have support outside our relationship. This can be done through the boys of leather organization or by mentorship by someone that has lived the life and I respect as a slave.

Another quality that a Master must cultivate is versatility. Before you laugh, I am not talking about sex but about being able to change the rules to fit the situation. Boy Jake is not able to wear a collar at all. His tattoo will function as his collar. Boy Joey cannot wear the collar while working. I allow him to remove it when at work when he first lets me know. There are many more things that must change because of circumstances or the rule just not having the desired effect.

A common problem for Masters is very basic. They forget to master. The slave has given control to the Master. Use it. I sometimes ask for opinions. I demand well thought out answers. In the end, I make a decision and that is the end of the conversation. Allow the slave to serve you. All slaves (yes even me) express love through their service. To not allow them to serve you, you have rejected their love.

Master/slave relationships are very difficult. They entail a lot of work. The payoff in the end is worth the growing pains. “If it was easy, anyone could do it!”

My being a slave

2010-03-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

I want to share my insights into why I am a slave. My natural orientation is mostly dominant. At the same time, there is a fire that burns within me to be submissive to Master and those He designates. I am living the fantasy. Fantasy has become real life.

The problem with Fantasy is that a lot of wanna-be’s are involved. I have no problem with people that are new to slavery. I do have a problem with people instantaneously becoming a Master or a slave at the wink of an eye. It belittles the life I live.

The slavery that I am talking about is not that of an indentured servant or of the African slaves of the Deep South. It is the slavery I submit myself to. The Master can only receive what the slave freely gives. I derive pleasure from having no control over my life and pleasing Master in anyway He sees fit. The dynamics do not matter. They are different for every relationship.

I also derive pleasure from allowing Master to let loose his Dominant and Sadistic sides and taking what he wants to give. All of the cosmetic things that we do are just there for it to look good. My service is what is important to Master.

Another thing to realize about my particular slavery is that my ultimate goal is the love and care of the Master. Because I love Master, I can do any task he places before me.

For me, my slavery also includes pain and the whip. I have found nothing like the pain I feel when the fall of the whip touches my back. At the same time it is both unbearable and exquisite. In my opinion, without the love of the Master, the slave is nothing other than a very accommodating servant.

Fear

2010-03-02T05:01:00.000-08:00

Fear can be an instrument of torture. As with all that we do in the Bondage, Discipline, Sadistic, and Masochistic world, the fear must be safe sane and consensual. Once control is given over, the quick panic of fear creeps in slowly.

The fear could be caused by a phobia. The fear could be caused by the anticipation of a scene. The fear could be caused by a coming punishment for crimes really committed. All of these fears drive a submissive toward the edge.

When a good relationship is arrived at between Dominant and submissive, the use of fear multiplies the intensity of a scene. I have a fear of “scene” needles. I have seen how painful they are when they are removed. A dominant can use this knowledge to train and even modify my behavior.

The first rule is that you have to follow through. If you keep threatening, you will eventually be ignored. Do what you say you will do. The next time that submissive deals with you, the fear factor will be increased exponentially.

Like all of our play, make sure of your play partner’s headspace and mental stability and emotional vulnerability. The trick with using fear is to push the limit ever so gently but step back before the other person descends into the crypt of despair.

If you are new to fear play, start out with things that are less ominous and slowly build to the crescendo of absolute fear. You can do something like a punishment spanking that is well above your normal play intensity. Emphasis that punishment is for real offenses and is not play. The next time the submissive earns the punishment, inflict the spanking just like the first, long and hard. The next time the submissive gets close to being in trouble, he will fear what is coming.

The fear we are talking about can be just this simple or can be bone-chilling and and breath stealing. It is all what you make it. So, boy Joe, do you want to see something really scary??!??!!

Hot Wax Play

2010-02-28T20:33:00.000-08:00

Obedience Realized has demonstrated that there is a litany of ways to dominate and to submit. A popular BDSM activity that can be added to this list is hot wax play. Hot wax play involves dripping or spreading hot wax on the naked skin of the submissive. There are a couple of different ways that the wax can be prepared. In most cases, the Dominant uses a candle or a solid block of wax, and (using an open flame)melts the wax and lets it drip onto the skin of the submissive. Another method is to use a crock pot or wax bath to melt larger amounts of wax and spread or pour it onto the submissive’s skin. The heated wax creates a brief and abrupt burning sensation on the skin and almost immediately solidifies. This can be a very sensual experience for the submissive and the Dominant can use the boy’s body like a canvas.

Although applying the wax can be intense- the real fun can be in its removal. If the boy is hairy- be sure he knows that when the wax is removed, there is a good chance his hair will be removed with it (which may be the whole point of the scene). The fun doesn’t end there, though. Immediately after the wax has been removed, the skin beneath it is often twice as sensitive as it was before (think of the possibilities!!).

As always, there are some important things to keep in mind when playing with hot wax:

*Not all waxes are the same, as they will burn at different temperatures. Paraffin and Soy candles will burn at lower temperatures while Beeswax candles burn at high temperatures. To give you an idea, even the low-temperature burning candles typically melt at around 135 degrees Fahrenheit. Although a lot of people will say that this play is entirely harmless, it is possible to burn/injure someone if you are not careful with what you are using.

*Be very cautious not to accidently drip wax in the submissive’s eyes, and do not try to drip or spread wax into any internal cavities (mouth, rectum, etc.).

*Be sure to look closely at the area of the body that you are going to drip or spread the wax onto and be sure to avoid cuts and wounds.

*Just as all waxes are not the same, not everyone’s skin is the same. Be certain that the submissive can tolerate the wax before playing heavily.

Hot wax play is one more genre of kink with a lot of possibilities to add to BDSM sessions. As always, have fun and play safe guys!!

Joey

Edging

2010-02-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

Orgasm control, also known as "edging", "peaking", "surfing", is a sexual technique involving a Dominant taking control over a submissive’s orgasm. The orgasm is controlled and held back for an extended period of time as near as possible to the orgasm itself, and then the person is finally allowed to experience the orgasm.

As a Dominant, I have always loved torturing a submissive in this way. They know the punishment that is coming if they do shoot before they have permission, but the cock and balls are fighting for that perfect moment. For me, this has been a one-on-one experience. That was until yesterday. I will let boy Jake finish this blog on edging.

“Let me start by telling you that my Master has the most AMAZING affect on me as a boy. Just hearing his voice on the phone causes me to pre-cum and pre-cum a lot. I go home from work every day with a wet spot on my pants. No other person has ever had that affect on this boy….

I was on my way home from some spanking play with a good friend of mine. I was still excited from the play and I called my Master as I always do afterwards. We began to talk about the play and my upcoming trip to visit my Master. As usual my boy cock went hard; rock hard. I now had a huge wet spot in my pants.

My Sir told me I would not be aloud to touch my boy cock again until some time after I get there to see Him. This command entails only being aloud to touch my boy cock once a day to shave it, because my Master requires me to be shaved. I have to sit with the toilet seat up to take a piss. This can be “dangerous” if you are not careful; your junk can take an unexpected dip in the water. I am also required to go commando. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be commando, wearing dress pants every day to work, and not be aloud to touch your self? WOW!

As we talked on my ride home, I became more and more excited. My breathing began to deepen. I told my Sir of the rising level of my excitement. My Sir began to tell me things that would take place on my trip; the whippings I would get, the ways I would please my Master. My boy cock began to throb, and as it did, it rubbed against my now wet pants causing me to become more and more excited. I am now in a frenzied state: hard, pants now wet, nearing a climax, and not being aloud to touch myself. Master continues to verbally stroke me. I ask permission to cum. Master does not give it. Master verbally edges his boy by describing what Master will do to his boy. It is all I can do not to cum. Master’s voice continues to ring in my ears; pushing me to new heights of excitement. My boy cock is now throbbing. It is almost out of control. I ask again for permission to cum and yet again my Master verbally edges me and denies me permission. My breathing is rugged and deep. I am panting. As everything in my vision begins to blur, my Master gives me permission to cum.

My boy cock explodes in my pants. WOW! What a mind-blowing orgasm. I have never had such an experience in all of my life. I cry out. Master talks me down from the climax. I feel my goo begin to run down my leg and into my boy crack.

I am so over come with emotion that I break down in tears. My Master talks me through it. It has been one of the most mind blowing sexual experiences I have ever had and one I am sure I could not have experienced with out the emotional connection I share with my Master.

boy jake”

Mummification

2010-02-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

We are a weird bunch. Mummification as a BDSM bondage practice involves restraining a person's body in a non-damaging way by wrapping it head to toe, or neck to toe, in materials like saran wrap, clingfilm, cloth, bandages, rubber strips, duct tape, plaster bandages, bodybags, or straitjackets. The end result is a person completely immobilized and looking like an mummy. They may then either be left bound in a state of effective sensory deprivation for a period of time, or sensually stimulated in their state of bondage, before being released from their wrappings.

Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play. A favorite of many is the mummification of everything but a slit for the mouth. nipples exposed, and the cock being outside the wrapping. This allows the person mummified to be tortured by contact with these areas without being able to move away.

Mummification should only be done with someone experienced at this specific type of bondage. Constant contact with the submissive is needed. EMT scissors should be available to cut the person out. A person coming out of mummification will have their senses extremely elevated. Eyes should be covered and slowly adjusted to the room lighting. The person will be extremely sweaty and cold from the encasement. The person should be gently covered with a blanket to allow the body to reacclimate. Any touching of the person should be announce to them. Aftercare should be done as it would be done with any BDSM activity.

Mummification is a very intense form of bondage. For a beginner, smaller less restrictive forms of bondage should be used to see if a person is able to stand it. I will make an admission here. I am incapable of being mummified. The reasons do not matter but it is not a sign of weakness. It is just a fact of nature. For those that can take it, it can be an intense mindblowing event. As I heard at a Discipline Corps Play Party; “I want my Mummy!”

Illusions

2010-02-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

During a conversation with a friend recently (I couldn’t blog if I didn’t talk with friends or read mail), the friend called me on an illusion I had about another person. I realized that I had made assumptions based on a false or incomplete understanding. I do not believe this makes me a bad person; it just reminds me that I need to accept people for what they are and not try to fit them into a box.

We all get wrapped up in the fantasy of what we imagine a person to be. This is especially easy to do in the BDSM community where we take our fantasies and make them realities. Many people see Master beat me mercilessly and make assumptions about who he is and who I am. These assumptions would be at odds with the man who has his slave’s head in his lap as he scratches his head or my enjoyment of seeing a boy squirm and cry out in pain. We are all the fantasy and more.

We sometimes create these illusions regarding politics, or religion, or nationality. I am not taking about racism or discrimination. Our minds like to make patterns. To make things fit, we mentally trim around the edges so that the other person can fit into our illusion.

I am not advocating destroying all the illusions that are out there. In fact, many of them continue to make my cock hard. I just need to keep in mind that they are just that; illusions. They are not good or bad, not better or worse, not right or wrong; they just are.

Enjoy the brutal Master or the submissive boy, the boy bent over in the back of the car or the Master staring in the bar. They are all good things. But there is sooooooo much more there than meets the eye.

Presentation of a boy

2010-02-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

Guys, I am sorry that I haven’t blogged in a while. Pup Dave came out for a visit. As much as I enjoy blogging, I enjoy his cries of pain and rage more. Okay, back to our topic.

A reader contacted me over the weekend and had a question about something they saw at a leather bar. He described what he saw and asked “What the fuck?” Now we have to talk about the presentation of a submissive or boy.

I have held off on writing this blog for quite awhile. Soon after I collared boy Jake, we were discussing my philosophy and style of presenting him to others. boy Jake commented during our next chat that my instructions were very similar to those of Master David on his website. I immediately went to the site and found that yes we both seem to be very close on the semantics.

The reader described the presentation. He saw two dominants talking. He then saw one of the Dominants turn his head. A submissive came forward and knelt on one knee with his hands behind his back. The second dominant spoke to the submissive and then scratched his head. After a while, the Dominant stopped scratching the submissive’s head. The submissive stood and returned to stand behind the first dominant.

This ritual is the protocol of the first Dominant. If I can insert myself as the first Dominant and boy Jake as the submissive, I will try to make sense of it. “Presenting” is the taking of a position, by a submissive, that has been ordered by a Dominant. My protocol would tell me that the boy was put in a “one-knee present”. This would be the most formal presentation to another person that boy Jake knows. It is a presentation that is reserved by me to those others that I have the utmost respect for. Boy Jake listens to my dialogue with the other person to understand how he is being presented. “ I would like to present …” means he is to present in “one-knee present”. “ I would like to introduce …” means he is to step forward and wait to respond to the other person as e relates to all dominants. “ I would like you to meet …” tells boy Jake that this person is either not in the leather lifestyle, or is submissive to me and I consider he and the other equals.

There are several other presenting positions that I have omitted from this discussion. We will have to speak of them later. I have talked about one of the other position; the punishment position. I have said it before and I say it again now; A Master’s protocol is just that – His.

Roleplay

2010-02-06T13:51:00.001-08:00

It has been my experience that one of the first questions I am asked by guys when I first meet them to play is, “Do you get into roleplay?” I am most turned on by the idea of a punishment session being centered around something very real, but I think it is safe to assume that everyone has at least one fantasy that exists in their mind that they would love to experience in real life. Roleplay opens up the gate between fantasy and reality, and each participant can become anyone he wants to be.

In some cases, the roleplay is guided by the attitudes, words, and actions exchanged between the participants, and the setting is irrelevant. Other roleplays are much more elaborate, and involve not only acting.... but also involve uniforms, props, and even certain settings (i.e. dungeon, police station etc.) when available.

Either way, these scenes are often very fulfilling- especially when there is no availability for a real-life experience. I have been asked many times by fellow spankos if I would like to get paddled the way I was in high school. The truth is, corporal punishment in schools was outlawed before I was even in first grade…. which makes it all the more intriguing to me. Although, I did once show up at the doorstep of one of my high school teachers when I was 21 (I will spare you the awkwardness of that experience for now). Other common roleplay fantasies include father/son, teacher/student, coach/athlete, judicial scenes, prison scenes, and even medieval punishment scenes to name a few. However, for yours truly, there are no hotter men in this world than cops and military guys. What can I say... I'm a sucker for authority in uniform...arrest me! (please).

It is important that everyone involved be on board when role-playing, as it is not really a one-player game. Regardless of what your fantasy may be, I would be willing to put money on the fact that if you look, you’ll find someone else into it. So you’ve dreamt it…. now go do it!

Enjoy!

Joey

Medical Play

2010-02-02T22:17:00.000-08:00

Medical Play is the use of medical uniforms and medical instruments in a BDSM scene. During a medical scene, pain and humiliation are used to “stimulate" the submissive. Many items are used in medical play such as needles (not syringes), catheters, intimate examination, enemas, and medical restraints (such as straight jackets). I would like to talk today about two of these implements used in medical play; sounds and the speculum.

Sounds are metal rods in different sizes, which are slightly curved on the ends. In actual medical purposes, sounds are used for gradually, gently enlarging the urethra or for measurements. In a BDSM medical scene they can be a source of exceptional stimulation or torture. With the addition of a metal butt plug, electricity can be conducted down the sound and through the prostate. The pleasure can be brought to such a high level that it hurts.

Another popular medical device in the medical BDSM scene is the speculum. The medical application of the device is examination of the rectum. The speculum is made of steel in a duckbill shape with two "jaws" which "open" with a screw-type mechanism. This action stretches the opening to give a clear view down the center into the rectum. There are also plastic disposable variations of specula. Objects can be inserted through the opening into the cavity. It also allows for pouring cool or warm water into the opening. A word of caution, though, DO NOT use water that is too hot and DO NOT use ice since they can permanently damage the delicate tissue lining inside the rectum.

This sort of play is not something you should engage in with someone who is inexperienced or who does not understand all the necessary precautions because your fun could result in infection, injury, or other traumatic problems.

I guess all I can say is “What’s up Doc?!?”

Polyamory

2010-01-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Although it is sometimes used to describe “open” relationships, I am specifically talking about relationships that are between more than two people and are for an extended amount of time.

Depending on how you define it, I am in a polyamorous relationship. Master and boy Jake are both in intimate realationships with me. They are also in an intimate relationship with each other. But, Master is very adamant about boy Jake being my boy and my responsibility. I guess (I am going to get a beating for this) that it is more a boy-Master-Grand Master relationship. I also know that Master desires to have a polyamorous household. That will mean that any future slaves, boys, or pups that enter his family will enter an intimate relationship with every other person in the family, as Master decides.

There are some serious issues that need to be dealt with when adding persons to a polyamorous family. The prior relationships must be secure. If you cannot maintain a one-on-one relationship, how can you maintain five relationships? The more people added to a family, the more important the chain of command is. Everyone needs to know that the Master is the Master. As Master’s alpha slave boy, it is important that everyone know that I may represent the Master in discipline and such, but I am not the Master. Communication must be stressed in the family. Isolation and silence are death knells in a polyamorous relationship.

Polyamory is a very difficult way to live. There are many of these relationships that do not end well. When the people involved work hard at the relationships are remain honest and true, these relationships are beautiful. As in all that we do in the leather lifestyle, if it was easy, then anyone could do it.

Chemical Play

2010-01-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

Chemical Play is a form of sensation play involving the use of mild irritants such as wintergreen oil, menthol, Tabasco sauce, and the like to create sensation. I am a big fan of chemical play included with another form of play such as spanking or bondage. This play is a completely different type of pain. The ways in which a submissive has learned to process the spanking or the bondage, is ineffectual with chemical play. The submissive must completely switch gears to deal with the new pain.

As with any kink, there are distinct levels of pain. My goal as the Dominant is to add to the pain of the bondage or spanking but not overwhelm it. I have said before, I love hearing the whimpering of a good submissive. Chemical Play leaves a little gift that keeps on giving after the session is over.

There are many different types of chemical that can be used. Rubbing alcohol, wintergreen, witch hazel, Icy-Hot, Tiger Balm, and capsaicin. These chemicals can be used on any part of the body as long as the specific properties of the chemical are known and taken into account. Rubbing alcohol is an excellent topical irritant. It dissipates very quickly and dries out an area. It should not be used in any orifice.

Two of my favorite chemicals to use are Tiger Balm and capsaicin. Both of these chemicals have a very intense heating feeling. I enjoy the use of both on the perineum, the balls, and the shaft of the cock. Tiger Balm can me used to lube anything inserted in the butt, much like a finger of ginger. This is extremely intense and will be very distracting for the submissive. Capsaicin is an order of magnitude more intense. I do not use it on sensitive tissues such as the cock head and the anal opening. I enjoy using it as a training device. I prefer to build a submissive’s pain tolerance before they meet me for play again. Right now, boy Jake is preparing to visit and about a month. Once a day, I order boy Jake to cover the areas mentioned above with the capsaicin. The intense pain and burning reminds him of what is coming soon and of his service to me. This chemical has a longer staying power and makes a definite impression. Once a submissive has been exposed to it, just mentioning it can change a behavior.

Chemical play is an extremely easy thing to add to play by a Dominant. It takes no skill, and is very effective. It is a choice for a Dominant that wants to play with a submissive long after the spanking or other play has finished. Enjoy!

sb Vince

Fisting

2010-01-22T10:11:00.000-08:00

Master David at work

Today’s subject is not for the squeamish or faint of heart. It is an action that is considered very edgy. Fisting is the placing of a person’s hand into the rectum of another person. Lets start with a discussion of some basics.

Fisting is something that a submissive needs to work up to. A submissive may want it more than anything, but if his hole has not been trained, it will not happen. With understanding and hard work, the submissive will eventually be able to submit his body to his Dominant’s wishes.

In the interest of disclosure, I must tell you that I have fisted men but have never been fisted myself. As the first picture shows so well, Master David is quite handy at fisting (did I just says that?). Cleaning out the colon is very important for this action. As any gay bottom knows, an enema bag can be very helpful. As the difference between a cock and a man’s hand can be considerable, the cleaning that is needed is also a magnitude larger.

A bit of medical information is needed here. The rectum is a strong muscle area that is six to nine inches long. It can be very accommodating when it is allowed to get used to the object being placed in it. If the submissive is in severe pain, something is wrong. Take it slow and everyone will be happy. The sigmoid colon is about sixteen inches long and is connected to rectum. This is where most fisting takes place. For those out there that are into deep penetration, the descending colon and transverse colon are next.

I would like to make a few safe recommendations. I defer to those Dominants that are more versed in the practice. That being said, gloves and lube are a definite must for fisting. I, and many other fisters, enjoy using Crisco vegetable shortening. It supplies a sufficient amount of lubrication and the body treats it as “vegetable”.

Fisting is a comparatively safe activity when precautions are taken. It is a very visual and visceral series of actions. It can be immensely satisfying for the Dominant and the submissive. For more information on fisting, FFA/CAC is an excellent source of online information and contact with expert fisters.

Puppy and Slave Cages

2010-01-20T12:40:00.000-08:00

There is a contingent in the leather community that has an affinity for puppy or slave cages. As with any fetish, the reasons are many but the desire is there. I will try to offer some insight into the fetish.

First off, I will tell you that Master has not built a cage for me. We have discussed it for a long time and it is a priority. That being said, I do have my cage mentality and cage space in the Master’s bedroom. This area is 2’X 3’ X 3’. Master considers my cage to be a safe haven for me. It is a place for the slave to lock the door on the world and just be. It sits right beside the Master’s bed. When the slave is stressed, or in trouble, the Master knows that He will find the slave in the cage space.

While I consider the cage and cage space to be a haven, it can also be a way to punish a submissive. Being locked in a small, confined space does wonders to a submissive attitude. Hearing the Master and others interacting but not being allowed to participate or even be in the room is very humbling.

Cages can be built out of any material, but as a submissive, I need to see the strength and permanence of a cage. I also need to see a lock. Just as Master has the key to the lock on my chastity device and on the collar around my neck, I need Him to have control of my entry to and exit from the cage. A note of caution must be given here. If a Master is going to lock a slave in a cage, the slave needs to have someway to exit should an emergency develop. This can be done with a key in a sealed envelope. Although I have never heard of it happening, I can see major trauma for a submissive should the Master have a heart attack and the slave not be able to exit the cage to help.

Another aspect of the cage that has been highlighted is the willingness of a slave to do anything to leave the confined space. Many Masters confine the slave for a few days and then torture the slave. After a while of intense play, a slave will do anything to please the Dominant and earn exit from the cage.

As you can tell, I am part of this small minority that has a connection with cage play. The Master’s cage has an imaginary sign hung over the door: “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter”. Clink. “Fuck, what did I do with that key!”

Haircuts and Shaving

2010-01-19T22:24:00.000-08:00

Shaving and hair cutting is another flavor in the smorgasbord of BDSM practices. It is an excellent way to control a submissive and for a submissive to show his devotion. It can also be an erotic experience.

There is a great man in Shreveport Louisiana that gives a great ass whipping and forced haircut. He has his own barber chair. He enjoys stripping a boy down and duct taping him down to the chair. He then uses his clippers and a straight razor to give the perfect high and tight. He then takes the boy and lays him face down on a bench and duct tapes the boy’s hands and feet to the bench. He shaves the boy’s butt and then gives a brutal razor strapping. If you are hard now, you understand what I am talking about with this topic.

Master is very adamant about forced haircuts. Every three days, Master has me strip and sit on the toilet. He breaks out the clippers and the razor. I will admit, if it wasn’t for the chastity device, I would get hard as He does it. He also demands that His slave be shaved in the groin area. It does something to me to not be able to touch my cock and to be hairless. It is oddly humiliating and invigorating at the same time. In the end, it is, as He desires.

Anyone that has had a military induction haircut can attest to the power of a shaved head. It removes your individuality and self-control. You are marked as a novice and property of something larger. I know in my life, just running my hand over the stubble as I fell asleep, was transforming.

In the end, haircutting and shaving are just another control used by a Dominant to influence a submissive. So, come on boy, look into His eyes and say, “As You desire Sir.”